The Wedding
by Anne T.M
Summary: (Completed story)It is four months since Voyagers return to the AlphaQuadrant. Janeway is invited to the wedding of Commander Riker. When she invites Chakotay as her guest she hopes it is the move that will alter
1. Default Chapter

All he could think about was a shower

Discalimer: You know the drill. I own none of the characters and so forth!

Yoyager is being re-fit and the crew is scattered. Captain Janeway is invited to Commander Riker's Wedding. Will her choice of escort alter the course of their futures?

****

The Wedding

Chapter One

All he could think about was a shower. He was filthy and couldn't wait to feel the water wash away the grime of the day. His mind was still on the dig when he came home. Even though it was thrilling, he missed space. Maybe not so much space but being on Voyager. He had taken this 6-month assignment while the ship was being refitted. It was exciting to do some anthropological work once again but mostly he needed to get away. As he walked through his house memories of Voyager flooded through him. He missed every thing about it. Spending the entire day with students who were barely out of the academy was taking its toll on him. He missed adult conversation. He missed easy camaraderie he had on Voyager. He even missed the mess hall. But most of all he missed her.

Shaking his head he stripped his clothes and entered the bathroom. Looking in the mirror he recognized one thing the dig had done for him. He was as fit now as he was when he captained the _Liberty_. Standing under the steaming water he tried to force the tensions to leave his body but they never did. The ache was like a shadow that danced around his soul. He wore the agony like a scarlet letter.

One thing he did enjoy about being here was the privacy. He had finished his shower and wrapped a towel around his waist and headed to kitchen to eat. Once he was done he went to check his terminal in his living room. Starfleet had housed him in a beautiful old wooden house close enough to the dig for convenience but far enough for sanity. He took advantage of some of the perks that he received from being a hero just returned from the Delta Quadrant. It beat the hell out of eating hand to mouth like his early Maquis days. He wanted to curse as he looked at his computer screen. Thirty-two messages. Spirits this is ridiculous. After fourteen hours in the Arizona sun he did not have the patience to speak with anyone much less anyone from Starfleet.

He scrolled down his message to see who wanted him. About half way down his heart stopped. The room became silent. The temperature rose, as the air became hot. His breath trapped in his lungs. He looked again, thinking his eyes were deceiving him. There it was: return destination - Indiana. He only knew one person in Indiana. He ran! He went to his dresser to get some clothes. He knew he was a coward. He wondered what he would do when he returned to his terminal. Would he hope that the message was gone or pray that it was real. As he dressed his thoughts were in chaos. What could she be contacting him for? Maybe it wasn't her. Maybe she was sick and her family was letting him know. He immediately realized the paranoia for what it was. If something had happened to her Tom would have contacted him. Why now? They said their good-byes four months ago. He closed his eyes trying to forget the memory but it only brought it back full force.

She had called him to her ready room to finalize all ship's business before they disembarked in the morning. He remained on the couch while she sat at her desk. Tears of regret were hiding behind his eyes as he looked at her. Everyone else was at the party saying good-bye. Neither one of them ever thought it would come to this. They both believed that they would get home but good-byes were never in the plan.

She stood stoically behind her desk trying desperately to not let the emotions of her heart show on her face.

"Commander," she didn't dare use his name or it would be her undoing, "I wanted to say good-bye. I wanted you to know how much I appreciate every thing you have done for this crew and this ship over the last seven years." What he had done for her remained unspoken. She softened a little as she added, "if I could promote you I would." She cleared her throat and continued. "Starfleet has informed me that Voyager will be out of commission for sixth months for re-fitting. I have asked that any crew who wishes to remain assigned to this ship be given first priority. I don't know who will accept. I think Tom and B'Elanna will stay but I am not so sure about Harry." Oh God she thought I am rambling. She could not look at him. If he rejected this offer she was afraid that all the pain she was feeling would erupt. She looked at the floor once again. "It is my hope that once we are re-fitted and sent on a mission that **you** will still be my first officer." She didn't add that she couldn't bear to think of a day on the ship without him. She could not stand to see anyone else sitting in his chair. Those were her private thoughts. She could not put that burden on him; not after all she had put him through for seven years.

He listened to everything she had told him, stunned at the formality of her tone. This is what they were reduced to after all this time. No fond memories, no smiles and certainly no tears. No, never tears. The silence hung in the air. He wanted desperately to cross the room and shatter the barrier. Break down every wall that she had erected so meticulously over the years. A comm badge interrupted his thoughts. Thinking it was hers he remained silent.

"Commander I believe that is yours." She turned to look out the viewport. This was harder than she expected.

Seven's voice filled the room. Reflexively Kathryn's spine stiffened. "Commander I was expecting you at the party." After all these years with humans she still did not know the appropriate things to say over an open comm link, Janeway thought. It took every ounce of strength that she had to say the next sentence. She could not turn around or she would die.

"I didn't mean to keep you, Commander."

He was lost. Torn. He was an honorable man so his mind said one thing but his heart and soul said another. For the first time in a long time he felt that funny flutter deep within himself. It was the place that no one had reached, before Kathryn. Not for the first time he wondered how he had gotten himself into this mess. Looking at his Captain he marveled at her. Was this petite woman really the one who beat the Borg, the Kazon, the Hirogen and many others? She suddenly looked frail and vulnerable. 

"Captain I need to go. There are some things that I have to take care off." He was being evasive on purpose. It would be better if she never found out about him and Seven until he had resolved things himself. "As for your offer…" She held her breath. Her mind was screaming please don't say no please don't. "If Admiral Paris is correct and pardons are given, the only way I will even consider keeping my commission in Starfleet is if I can continue as your first officer. After serving in that position, any other job would be….. unfulfilling." He hoped that his meaning was not disguised in all the formality that they were swimming in. He willed her with all his heart to turn around. She felt the pull. Their bond remained. But she could not. After what felt like an eternity he turned to leave and said he would see her in the morning.

As he walked down the hall he saw B'Elanna approaching him from the other direction. He was glad to see her. The conversation with Kathryn had rattled him. Anyway, he wanted to spend some time with her before they left. Maybe even talk to her about this situation. For her part he knew she was nervous about meeting Tom's parents. He also knew she wanted to protect Tom if need be. When she got close enough he opened his mouth to speak but he was immediately silenced when she raised her right hand and punched him the nose. He staggered to the ground blood pouring over his face. She looked at him with utter disdain. "You asshole!" She yelled and stepped over him to walk to her destination. As he tried to stand up he saw Seven at the end of the hall. She had witnessed the entire encounter. She saw him on the floor and instinctively called for security. He hit his comm badge and canceled the order. The last thing he needed was for the Captain to get a report about this incident.

Hearing Seven's voice B'Elanna stopped. She turned around and stared at the woman who had become the enemy. B'Elanna stormed toward her with every intention of doing the same to her that she had done to Chakotay. Seeing this Chakotay jumped up and stood between the women. They would tear each other apart if they fought. He was restraining B'Elanna as he begged Seven to leave. Finally Seven complied.

Chakotay dragged his friend into his quarters. He ran to the bathroom for a towel. He returned trying his best to control his anger. He stood by the couch.

"If you think I am going to talk to a pig like you, you are crazy!" she spat as she headed for the door. He quickly called out an order for the computer to lock the door.

"I have a broken nose! The least you can do is explain." He was wiping the blood from his face as he spoke to her. He had an idea of why she was mad but the vehemence of it surprised him.

B'Elanna began to survey the room. She pointed to the table "Is that where you eat dinner with **her**?" She pointed to the couch, "Is that where you sit and talk about the day?" She walked to the door of his bedroom pushed it open and pointed to the bed. "Is that where you fuck **her**?" B'Elanna was shaking with rage. She almost feared that she might attack him again. Years ago she may have but she had developed some self control thanks to her friends on Voyager.

He spoke very quietly "No, B'Elanna. She has never been to my quarters. I know you don't like her but isn't this a bit over the top?" He held out the rag full of blood.

As he was speaking she was fiddling with the panel by his door trying to override the lock. When she was almost finished she turned and looked at him. It was almost funny she thought. The big jerk standing there with a towel on his face soaked in blood. Then she thought about the Captain and the humor died. She burrowed her eyes into his face and said, "The Captain knows." She pushed the last button to open the door and left.

The impact of her words knocked him to the floor. Their conversation in her ready room made perfect sense.

He left his dresser and returned to his computer. He went immediately to the message from Indiana. The screen filled with her face. The first thing he noticed was that her hair was a little longer. It had grown just below her shoulders. She was not as thin as she had been. It must be the home cooking he thought. While he had decided to take an assignment she had decided on a six-month leave of absence. She looked good. After staring at her for ten minutes he found the courage to play the message.

**__**

"Where are you?" 

She stopped and waited like he was going to answer. He chuckled.

**__**

"Anyway, the reason I am calling is that I need your help. I have been invited to a wedding and I need an escort. Interested? You can reach me at the terminal address in the message. That's my mother's house."

The face faded and he exhaled. Before he began to over analyzed every nuance of the message he replied.

**__**

Kathryn,

When?

Where?

Who?

Dress?

He did agonize over the closing. Finally he decided that they had played enough games and signed it, **_Love Chakotay._**


	2. The Wedding Chapter 2

Chapter Two ****

Chapter Two

The day seemed better somehow. The company remained the same. Young bucks, overly enthusiastic digging through the dust. They all believed that they would make some great discovery that would change the world. He had already changed the world and knew that that was not what life was about. Life was about whom you came home to at night. Tonight he hoped to come home to a message.

As they began to pack up for the day he heard shouting in the outer quadrant of the dig site. He found his hand reaching for a phaser that was not there. He ran over with the rest of his men expecting a melee. In the pit, men were hugging and laughing.

Rahan was motioning frantically to him. "Chakotay come see. We found a pot. The design matches. We struck gold!" his assistant yelled.

He jumped into the pit to view it for himself. Then he began to shout orders. It was easy in all the excitement to do damage. Everyone was reminded about the fragility of the ruins and each man was given a task to work on. They worked long into the night under intense lights. Once the pot was unearthed he ordered the area closed for the night. They would examine it tomorrow. As he walked to the transport he still felt excited about what they had found. As he beamed home the thought occurred to him that he had no one to share this news with. No, changing the world had lost its appeal since he returned from the Delta Quadrant.

Wearily he turned on the shower and let the hot water cascade down his body. He stood there until the water turned cold. Pulling on clean underwear he headed to the kitchen. The light blinking on his terminal caught his eye. Quickly he remembered. The idea of her answering him had danced throughout his head most of the day. Caught up in the day's discovery he had almost forgotten. He went over and sat down. Scrolling down he searched for the name that would make him sleep much better tonight. There it was, Kathryn. She had not sent a video message, just written text as he had.

**__**

Dear Chakotay,

A month from this Saturday.

Betazed

Will Riker

Wedding: Informal

Reception: Formal

Love,

Kathryn 

As he read the words he could hear her voice saying them in his mind and a thrill ran down his spine. He replied.

****

Dear Kathryn,

Will Riker! How did you manage that invitation? Of course I'll go. Tell me where to meet you and when.

Love,

Chakotay

p.s. What does informal mean? 

Gretchen found her daughter sleeping in the chair in her husband's old office.

She shook her gently. "Katie wake up."

Slowly she stretched and began to emerge from the hazy fog. After four months she had lost the reflex of bolting up when awakened. There were no life and death crises in Indiana. Gretchen left the study and headed for the kitchen. A nice cup of coffee would do the trick. As she got the mugs she felt the old familiar threat of tears rise in her throat. Her Katie was home. She was looking better every day. When she first saw her daughter she had wept tears of joy. Since then she had shed bitter tears as she listened to the terrible things her daughter had endured. She was an admiral's daughter and admiral's wife so she understood the dangers of Starfleet but as a mother it tore her heart apart. After four months and a lot of home cooking Katie was starting to become her old self. The only thing missing was the spark. As she poured the steaming liquid into the cup she thought about the look she had noticed in her eyes when she was at the computer terminal last night. Something was there. Shaking her head she picked up the mugs and headed to the study. No sense in wondering about it. Katie would tell her when she was ready and not before.

When she walked into the study she found her daughter in her usual spot sitting at the computer. "I thought we could share some morning coffee." When she didn't answer Gretchen became concerned. She walked to her and placed the mugs on the desk. As she looked at her daughter she saw the tears softly rolling down her cheek. Gretchen turned to read the screen to see what was making her baby cry. 

**__**

Dear Kathryn,

Will Riker! How did you manage that invitation? Of course I'll go. Tell me where to meet you and when.

Love,

Chakotay

p.s. What does informal mean? 

She placed a hand on her daughter's back and gently rubbed in circles. Speaking very quietly she asked, "Katie are you crying because this Will Riker is getting married?"

Kathryn turned in her chair smiled up at her mom, "No mom. I am crying because he is coming to the wedding with me."

Not quite understanding. "Who is he?"

"Chakotay."

"Ah, your first officer."

"He's more than that."

Her mother bent down and hugged her as only a mother can. "Oh, Katie that's wonderful. I was so worried about you. At first I thought you were dead. Then we found out you were alive and I heard that Mark had gotten married and sent a message to tell you about it." Now Gretchen was crying. She picked up her apron and wiped her eyes. "Well let's just say I am glad you had someone."

"It's not that simple. It's complicated."

Gretchen backed away and watched as the spark went out of her daughter's eyes once again. "Why don't we go in the living room and you can tell me _this complicated_ story."

"Okay but first I want to respond to his message."

"I'll meet you in there." Attempting to give her privacy she started leaving. But Kathryn grabbed her hand. "No stay." She stood at her daughter's back and watched her write her response. It struck her that Katie was typing very slowly, thinking about each word.

**__**

Dear Chakotay,

I knew Will briefly when we were at the academy together. It is a funny story. I will tell you when I see you. You will enjoy it. We can meet where ever is convenient for you. After all you are the one working not me. We could meet at Betazed that morning if you like. I am going to go Thursday and stay the weekend. You can come on Thursday and sight see with me if that is better for you. If you really feel like leaving the dust behind you can come to Indiana early in the week. We can catch up (maybe even take a sail on the real Lake George) and travel together to the wedding. The choice is yours.

"I take it you do not know where you stand with this man." Gretchen said after watching her daughter carefully construct the message." 

Kathryn quietly responded no.

Placing her hands on Kathryn's shoulders in a manner that was strangely reminiscent of Chakotay her mother told her that in that case it was perfect. She watched as she finished it.

**__**

Love,

Kathryn

p.s. Informal means nude.

Gretchen gasped audibly. "Katie!"

Kathryn stood up and headed to the living room. She raised her hand as she had a million times on Voyager when she wanted silence and then she spoke, "Trust me mom it is another long story."

"Well by my calculations you have a minimum of three weeks to tell me everything."


	3. The Wedding Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A few moments of silence passed after Kathryn had settled into the comfortable couch. There was a fire blazing in the fireplace. Her mother sat in the chair opposite her and waited expectantly. After years of dealing with both her daughter and husband Gretchen had learned patience.

"I don't know where to start. Mom there is just so much."

"What does he look like?" Gretchen had pinpointed the one question that would bring a smile to her daughter's lips. She knew her daughter well. The way she spoke of this man was nothing like she had spoken of Mark or even Justin. There must be something very special there.

"Whatever I say now it will not do him justice. He is handsome beyond belief. He is tall, very tall with dark black hair. His eyes are dark brown and his smile is simply brilliant. When he smiles you usually see the dimples that he has on his checks. Mom I cannot describe the effect those dimples have on me. And that is just his face! He has extremely broad shoulders. His skin is bronze." Kathryn had laid her head back on the couch and closed her eyes to picture her first officer in her mind. Her lips began to curl up as she remembered what he looked like in the moonlight as they sailed on Lake George. "There is no hair on his chest but it is very muscular." She sees him pulling the rope to raise the sails and her minds eye focuses in on his hands. "He has the most beautiful hands I have ever seen."

Gretchen is watching her daughter and her own heart swells. He sounded nothing like Mark. Mark was scholarly, reserved. Katie walked all over him. Gretchen had a feeling that this man did not let her get away with much of anything. She had never seen Katie like this. She had finally found what every one long for. She had found what every mother wishes for her child, true love. 

Suddenly Kathryn sat up and swung her legs to the floor. She looked at her mother trying to make her understand. "Everyday I sat next to him on the bridge. There were a lot of days that were boring. Those days I spent a lot of time watching his hands dance across his console. It was like a ballet, graceful and filled with beauty. There were other days that the bridge was hell and his strong hands were often the difference between life and death." Kathryn paused for a minute. She looked away and reached her hand to her mouth as she did. "I sound ridiculous." She started to get up and leave. Running away from emotion as was her custom. But her mother stopped her with her words.

"I understand exactly what you are saying. The strength of a rock yet the gentleness of a baby."

Kathryn was shocked. Her mother had just perfectly described a man she never met. Gretchen didn't need words to know what her daughter was thinking. "Yes, Kathryn I know the man but for me his name was Edward." They both laughed a little and sat back down to talk.

She spent all morning telling her mother stories about Chakotay. She talked about his beliefs and his people. The foundation that made him what he was. She described how he acted as ship's counselor to everyone on the ship and how it was in this capacity that he was instrumental in bringing the two crews together. In Kathryn's eyes he was every thing that she was not. Glancing at the old fashion clock on the mantle Kathryn was startled to see that it was two o'clock.

"Mom it's late how about some lunch. I'll go in the kitchen and get us something."

Gretchen stood up quickly and stood beside the couch were Kathryn was still reclining. "I am glad to hear that you are hungry. You were so thin when you returned. I didn't think that you ate for the entire time you were gone." She brushed her hands across her child's hair. "You lay there I'll get lunch." She left to go to the kitchen.

Kathryn called after her mother. "Mom, I am perfectly capable of fixing lunch for us."

Walking to the kitchen she yelled over her shoulder, "I know but I prefer to have a lunch that I can actually eat!"

Despite herself Kathryn laughed and settled into the couch and closed her eyes. "You are going to like him just fine mother." That was her last thought before she drifted off to sleep. 

Three hours later Kathryn woke up to the sound of the doorbell. Gretchen hurried to answer it so it wouldn't wake her daughter up. On her porch stood a nice looking blonde haired man and a dark haired alien woman who was holding a baby.

"Mrs. Janeway I don't think you remember me but…"

It took only a moment for it to sink in. She reached out and hugged him fiercely talking as she did. "Of course I do. You're Owen's son, Tom." She stood back and looked him up and down. Finally she looked at the woman with the baby. "This must be your wife B'Elanna." Because she was holding the baby Gretchen didn't hug her quite so tightly. Reaching out her hands to the baby she said, "And you my precious must be Miral." Tom and B'Elanna held their breaths. The baby was rarely settled for them much less strangers. Paying no mind Gretchen grabbed the baby and ushered them into the house. She called loudly, "Katie you have visitors." B'Elanna and Tom gave each other the eye as they both mouthed the word "Katie".

Kathryn had heard the bell and rushed to her room to change out of her pajamas. She came down the stairs wearing a trim pair of gray slacks and a matching sweater. The only remnants of her lazy day were the slippers she still wore. She saw her friends and a wide smiled came to her lips. She immediately went to B'Elanna and hugged her. A multitude of questioned poured out. "How's motherhood? How's the baby? How's Tom's parents?"

"Hey what am I chopped liver." Tom said while displaying his best pout.

Kathryn tried to muster up the old death glare. "Mr. Paris you are out of line!"

He stiffened his back in mock defense. "Permission to speak freely ma'am."

Playing along Kathryn replied, "Permission granted."

He closed the distance between them and picked her up in a hug and twirled her around. "We have missed you, Captain."

Having had this discussion long ago she did not correct the use of her title. Tom still referred to her as captain as did B'Elanna except when they were talking privately woman to woman.

They all invaded the living room and sat down. Tom motioned his head in the direction of Gretchen who was rocking Miral and singing quietly to her.

"That baby is never this good. She drives Tom and I crazy."

"She has her mother's spirit." 

"And her father's good looks," Tom added.

Suddenly Kathryn was crying. Tom leaned over and put his hand on her shoulder. Despite every thing they had gone through he had never seen his captain cry. "Captain what is it?"

Kathryn wiped the tears and blew her nose slightly. "I'm sorry I have been a little emotional these past months. My mother says it is all the stress. The Doctor just says it is about damn time I admit I am only human." She was laughing again but B'Elanna and Tom were worried. Kathryn could see her friends' concern in their eyes. "Don't worry I am fine. I am just happy to see you. I miss the fun we had on Voyager."

"Captain, no offense but you would say you were fine if the Videans were just about to harvest your organs."

Gretchen handed the baby to Kathryn and sat down. "Don't worry young man she is with her mother now. If she weren't fine I would know." That set their minds at ease.

They all watched as Kathryn played with the baby talking to her the entire time. As incredulous as her parents seemed Miral fell asleep in her arms.

They talked quietly. Tom told Kathryn how things were going with his father. B'Elanna seemed tense as he spoke. They were building a new relationship and things were going well. "Of course my wife already has him mesmerized."

"It's not me it's the baby" B'Elanna retorted.

Kathryn added, "Maybe he likes having a daughter-in-law that could kill him with her bear hands. Helps him feel safe!" They all laughed.

Tom's face sobered a little. "Captain the reason we came is that we wanted to give our decision regarding Voyager."

Kathryn sat up and laid the baby down on the soft rug in front of the fireplace. 

Tom continued. "We have discussed it at length. We have tried to consider every possibility. We know how Starfleet feels about husbands and wives serving together much less children." Tom nervously ran his hand through his hair.

Kathryn sat a still as a statue. It was the first time her mother had ever seen her command mode. Gretchen could help being reminded of her husband.

"I am not doing a good job at this."

Reaching for his hand the Captain prodded, "Tom, it's all right. Tell me." She released his hand.

"Well despite my father protestation I feel," he paused and reached his hand to his wife's, "we feel that after serving on Voyager with you, anything else would pale in comparison." They were all smiling now. "So if the jobs are still open we want them!"

She hugged them both. "Welcome aboard Mr. and Mrs. Paris." As she turned she suddenly heard the similar words that Chakotay had said the night they said good bye.

Gretchen stood up and ordered everyone into the kitchen for dinner. As they ate desert the conversation picked up again. Everyone was talking about what they had been doing and would be doing while Voyager was in dock. That's when Kathryn mentioned the wedding.

Tom nearly dropped his spoon in the ice cream. "You're going to the wedding of the century?" 

Kathryn looked at him in surprise. The kitchen was silent and as everyone sat around the table and waited for Tom to continue.

Moving his hand s through the air in desperate animation he went on. "You know Starfleet's golden boy marries his long time love, the next in line to the Holy Rings of something or other. I can't believe that you haven't seen any thing about it. It is all over. It is like the romance of the century."

The ladies all sipped their coffee wondering what this great romantic tale was all about.

Finally it was Gretchen who spoke up. "Well Tom, do tell."

Tom leaned back in his chair and smiled. He was a storyteller at heart. "It seems that they met years ago when Riker was assigned to Betazed. Rumor has it that they were engaged to be married and that he stood her up." Every mouth around the table opened in shock. "He was sent on some mission and got delayed or something but he never showed up. They never spoke again until they were both assigned to the Enterprise. According to my sources they spent years on the same ship and never continued their relationship. They became the best of friends but no more." Kathryn squirmed a little as his words hit very close to home. She wondered if this was a true story or if Tom was up to something. "They went out on a mission where they encountered a people called the Baku. It is then that the old flames were rekindled. Now they are getting married."

Kathryn couldn't help herself she laughed. All eyes were on her as she continued to chuckle. Finally she caught her breath and said, "leave it to Tom to know gossip about crew members that were not even on our ship!" She began to laugh again but this time she had company.

B'Elanna grabbed the Captain's arm. "I bet he even has a betting pool going!" Once she said it she realized her potential mistake. But the Captain only laughed harder.

Tom sulked a little annoyed. In attempt to validate his story he went on. "Didn't you ever wonder why he never took another position. He was offered his own ship twice for God sakes! People say he stayed because he wanted to remain on the flagship with Captain Picard. I have seen pictures of both Picard and Deanna Trois and my money is on the girl!"

Gretchen loving touched his arm, "Oh Tom a hopeless romantic you are." She got up and began to clean up. Tom jumped up and insisted on helping her. No one noticed B'Elanna and Kathryn quietly talking.

"Did you ask him?"

"Yes."

"Well, what did he say. Is he going to go to the wedding with you?"

"Yes, he is." The two women hugged. Tom and Gretchen turned in surprise at the high pitched giggling they heard. If she hadn't known better Gretchen would have sworn that she was looking at Kathryn and Phoebe as teen-agers again. Tom had no clue what was going on. 

Once every thing was cleared away the Paris family decided to leave. After parting hugs and kisses the Captain addressed her friends. "I will see you in about two months to begin our next new journey." Kathryn and Gretchen stood on the porch and watched them leave. The couple reached the end of the walkway before Tome spoke. "It should be one hell of an interesting wedding."

"Why? It sounds like just another Starfleet propaganda event."

Tom laughed as he prepared to drop the bomb. "Any wedding on Betazed will most likely follow their traditions." He reached his arm and put it around his wife then whispered in her ear. "They get married in the nude, participants and guests!"

As they entered the house arm and arm, mother gave daughter a little squeeze. "You have a wonderful way with people. I can see how devoted those two are to you. You make people feel good about themselves."

"It's something I learned on the Voyager." She thought of Chakotay. "With a lot of help."

They paused in the living room by the steps. "Do you feel like continuing our conversation from this afternoon or are you going to bed?"

"I'm tired but first I need to check the message center." Gretchen smiled knowingly as Katie walked to the study. 

Kathryn looked over her shoulder and called "coming?" Her mother practically ran to follow her.

There it was on the screen, Arizona. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She felt like a ridiculous schoolgirl. She opened up the message and she and her mother waited both holding their breaths.

**__**

Dear Kathryn,

I am sure that if it involves you and Will Riker it will be an interesting story. I would love to hear it when I come to Indiana. How is a week from Monday, late in the afternoon? 

Love,

Chakotay

p.s. WHAT DO YOU MEAN NUDE?

Gretchen and Kathryn laughed at the same time. He was coming to Indiana. Kathryn almost couldn't believe. To stop her daughter from dwelling on his coming Gretchen lightened the mood. "Are you going to answer the man?"

Kathryn began to type much more vigorously than before. His message had lightened her heart a little. She might not know exactly where she stood with him but at least she felt like she was standing some where.

**__**

Dear Chakotay,

Nude means exactly what it implies naked.

Love, 

Kathryn

"Well I guess that means you only have two weeks to tell me the entire story but on the bright side I'll get to see for myself how handsome he really is.


	4. The Wedding Chapter 4

Chapter Four ****

Chapter Four

They had talked every night for the past two weeks. Kathryn told her mother story after story about the things that Chakotay had done on Voyager. It was now Sunday night. This was their last night alone. Chakotay would arrive tomorrow and stay until he and Kathryn left for the wedding. Gretchen knew that she had not heard the heart of the story.

Gretchen could see that her daughter was nervous. She was picking at her fingers and pacing. "Katie come sit down." Kathryn obeyed and joined her mother on the couch. Gretchen took her baby's hands in hers. "Katie we have talked for weeks it's time you told me about you and Chakotay. You have told me every great thing he every did but what happened between the two of you."

Tears came to her eyes and she wanted desperately to leave the room and escape her own thoughts but her mother would have none of it. Gretchen held her hands until she was able to speak.

"Mom I blew it big time! He loved me and over and over I pushed him away until I pushed too hard and he found someone else." Kathryn was sobbing now. Her mother took her in her arms and rocked her like a baby. She stroked her hair and hummed very quietly. Once the tears slowed down Gretchen spoke. "Katie it is more complicated than that. It always is with you but there are three things I know." She pulled her back and held her daughter's face between her two hands. "The first is that you have never spoken about a man the way you have talked about Chakotay; not Cheb, not Mark, not even Justin. The second is that whatever happened with whomever is over or he wouldn't be coming."

Kathryn shook her head up and down. "B'Elanna told me that it ended right after we returned. She left for Vulcan with Tuvok and he left for Arizona." 

"The third is that if he felt nothing for you he would not have agreed to go to the wedding with you."

Kathryn looked up at her mother through swollen red eyes. "He knows that soon we will be working together on Voyager. Maybe he just wants to make things more comfortable between us."

"To make things comfortable as you say, he could have met you on Betazed the morning of the wedding. He is spending a week at your home. That says something." Her mother coaxed her to lie down with her head on her mother's lap. She continued to stroke her hair as she had done when she was a child. When she was young it calmed her down and made her feel better. "Katie this is so unlike you. I have never seen you so insecure before."

She lay still in her mother's arms where she felt safe and loved. A little calmer now Kathryn decided to tell her mother everything. "Did you know that he was a criminal?"

She knew that there was much more to the story so Gretchen did not overreact. "No, I didn't."

Kathryn laughed just a little. "It is ironic. Starfleet sent me to capture a criminal and instead he captures me." She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. Maybe it would be better to get this out before Chakotay arrived. She hoped her mother would have some good advice when she was finished. "He was a leader in the Maquis. He had escaped to an area called the Badlands and I was sent to get him. After we got trapped he beamed over to my ship to talk. I thought that we needed to work together to find a way out of our situation. The minute he appeared on my bridge I felt a shudder go through my body. There was almost an altercation between him and Tom, another long story, and I had to push him away from Tom. The moment I touched him I knew. It was like nothing I had ever felt in my life. The warmth of his body seared my soul. Now understand, I was engaged to Mark and I had just been thrown 70 thousand light years from home. On top of that I did have a personal hatred for the Maquis. I resented what they were doing because I felt like they were fighting against everything that daddy believed in and had worked so hard for all those years."

Her mother broke in, "Oh, Katie you can't fight battles for your father. He did what he thought was right in dealing with the Cardassians and I am sure Chakotay did the same."

"I learned that as time went on but at that moment there was a lot of guilt. As we worked together we developed a great friendship. He was my first officer and my confidant. We had breakfast together and often ate working dinners in each others quarters." She was smiling at the memories. "We spent more than a few nights shooting pool in the holodeck. We were just so comfortable with each other. And we flirted constantly. You know little looks and little comments dripping with innuendo. Then there was the touching. I was forever touching his arm, or his hand and he my shoulder." Suddenly she laughs out loud as she remembers some of the things they had said. "Once I told him that if I needed further information on mating behavior that I would know where to go."

"You didn't."

"Yes and I did it on the bridge in front of the crew no less. Another time he asked me if things had been different would I have served under him. It was a perfectly innocent comment but the twinkle in his eye gave him away."

"What did you say?"

"I invoked captain's prerogative and refused to answer. Don't you see mom it was easy when we were flirting? I was good at that, in control but as soon as it started heading for more I got scared."

Gretchen finished her thought, "and you ran." Kathryn didn't acknowledge her mother's comment but she knew that she was right.

"It got much harder after a particular episode in our lives. We both were bitten by some insect and contracted an incurable disease. We were left on a planet that we called New Earth. We were going to research a cure and if need be establish a new home. I was hell bent on finding a cure while he spent time making it a home for us." Kathryn sat up and looked in her mother's eyes. "He built me a bathtub with his own two hands." The love she felt for him radiated in her eyes. Her mother sighed. She could hear and see the depth of her daughter's feelings. Gretchen was surprised at how alive her eyes looked as she spoke. "He heard me say how much I loved a bath and he built it for me as a surprise. I knew things changed between us the night I took my first bath." She got a far away look on her face as she recalled the moment. "I was taking a bath and I heard a rustle in the trees. I was afraid that someone was there so I called Chakotay. I jumped out of the tub and wrapped myself in a towel. He ran out and stopped just behind me. There was noise in the trees and then a monkey showed itself. Our intruder was a primate. We both relaxed as I tried to coax the monkey toward us. The monkey ran away and I turned to go to the shelter. It was then that I saw the look in his eyes. It was powerful, a look of pure desire. I went in to change and he went for a walk. We did not talk about it. Awhile later there was a big plasma storm. We spent the entire day moving tree branches. That night I commented how my muscles ached. I laughed it off saying that as captain I wasn't used to hard labor. He offered to rub my shoulders and I agreed. He moved my hair very slowly then rubbed them. It felt like nothing I ever experienced. The best sex in the world didn't come close to how I felt for those five minutes." She had been lost in the story and just realized what she had said to her mother. "Sorry mom."

"Katie you're forty years old. I have to believe you know what sex is!"

She settled back into the couch and continued the story. "He stopped suddenly. I think it was because he didn't trust himself to continue. I got up and went to bed. I watched him through the screen for a few minutes before I jumped back up and returned to where he was. I was nervous but I had to find a way to put some distance between us. I was so afraid. I told him we had to talk about setting parameters. He told me that he didn't think that he could. Then he told me a legend. It was a story about an angry warrior who fought his whole life. Then he met a woman warrior and he agreed to serve her. He promised to be beside her every day and do everything in his power to make her burden lighter. In doing that the warrior found peace. The story touched me so that I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I put my hand up and we entwined our fingers and sat in silence. It was the most romantic thing I have ever felt. It was the one and only time we touched in any intimate fashion."

"You mean you never…"

"No mom we never even kissed. We were rescued some time later and returned to our duties as captain and commander. Our lives remained the same but our hearts were changed forever. Mom, it was so tempting. I wished that I could let it all go and go to him but I couldn't. I made the decision to strand the crew in the Delta Quadrant and I had to devote everything I had to get them home." She paused for a minute to catch her breath. A little smile came to her lips as she recalled the next memory. "I almost gave in when Mark dumped me. He came to see if I was all right. He was always doing that. I told him about the letter and what it said. The moment of truth had arrived. I no longer had Mark to fall back on. I asked him what he thought. Should I indulge my feelings or hold fast to protocol? He smiled that smile and told me that I had plenty of time." The smile left her face, as she became more earnest. "I didn't. The more time that past the colder I got. It was like an obsession. I was driving hard to get the ship back, nothing else mattered. I knew I was hurting him. He gave me everything and I gave him nothing yet he loved me." She had started to cry again. "Why didn't I tell him that I loved him. That I had for a long time and that not being with him was the hardest thing I did every day. Instead I kept it all inside. I talked about Starfleet protocol and parameters until finally he gave up. He began to date another woman on the ship. I wanted to be happy for him but I couldn't. I wished so badly that it was I, but it was too late. I drove him away." Kathryn's head was down and her tears fell on her lap. She was twisting the tissue in her hands. She thought that once she told her mother she would feel better but she felt worse. It was like reliving it all over again.

"Katie girl I know you well. Those excuses you gave were just that excuses. What held you back?" She reached over and picked up her daughter's tear stained chin. "Why Katie? Why couldn't you let him love you?"

She tried to pull away but her mother held on. "I…I couldn't mom I just couldn't."

"Not good enough." She was pushing her and she knew it. She needed to face this before Chakotay arrived tomorrow.

Kathryn raised her voice. "I couldn't let him love me because it would consume me." She startled herself with her confession. She had never told anyone her true fears about Chakotay. "We have this connection that is so powerful it is frightening. We know what the other is thinking. I can fell his presence without actually seeing him. It is beyond words. We are bonded like soulmates. I was afraid that if I gave into that feeling that I would be less of a captain."

"Less of a captain but more of a woman," her mother added.

Kathryn nodded.

"There's more isn't there?"

Kathryn had settled back down with her head resting once again in the comfort of her loving mother's lap. "I was terrified that I would send him to his death."

The real reason has reared its ugly head. Gretchen knew the real reason all along. Katie was so used to controlling every thing that she couldn't stand the fact that she could not control death. It outraged her that life was often left to chance, a fact that she just chose to ignore. Well it is time to wake you up Katie girl! "Like I sent your father to his death?"

At that she bolted upright. "You had nothing to do with daddy's death. Starfleet sent him not you." Kathryn was so agitated that she was almost yelling. Don't you see? Out there I **was** Starfleet. **I **was the one ordering people here and there. **I** was the one responsible."

"Don't you think I have replayed that day, hell that week, over and over in my mind. All it would have taken was one change. A loss of a half of an hour here or an hour there and things would have been different. Suppose I had told him how sick I was feeling two days before the test flight. Maybe he would have stayed home that day and cared for me. The project would have been set back one day. Maybe then he wouldn't be dead."

"It's not the same." She said shaking her head from side to side.

"Yes, Kathryn it is. We cannot control life, life controls us. We do our best but ultimately life and death come, as they will. We lost your father because that was his destiny. He was in the exact spot at exactly the time he was supposed to be. Don't let those ideas guide you. We cannot change that. I know that you are a Janeway but even you can't change history."

Both women exchanged a knowing look as they thought about Admiral Kathryn Janeway and what she had done. Gretchen gave in. "Okay poor choice of words."

After a few deep breaths Kathryn realized that she did feel better. They decided to have some coffee ice cream. The two remained quiet for awhile, Kathryn in anticipation of Chakotay's arrival and Gretchen in remembrance of her past. They both thought that tomorrow would be a good day.


	5. The Wedding Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Kathryn decided to wear a blue dress. It was about five in the evening when she heard the doorbell. She came flying down the stairs. Her mother had already approached the door but she stopped and waited for her daughter. When she opened it he was standing there with flowers in his hands. Both women ushered him in. 

Kathryn put her hands out and said thank you.

Chakotay pulled them back. "They are not for you." He leaned sideways and presented them to Gretchen. "They are for your mother."

"Thank you Chakotay. They are beautiful and very unique."

"They originate in Ireland. Anyone, who has had to deal with her stubborn Irish temper," he inclined his head in Kathryn's direction, "for four months deserves them." Then he reached down into his bag and pulled something out. "**This** is for you." He handed Kathryn a box. She opened it and inside she found a leather bound copy of a book by Jane Austin, _Pride and Prejudice._"

She took it out slowly. "I love this story."

"I know."

"What's it about?" Gretchen asked.

"A woman who speaks her mind at all costs. One who is beautiful yet strong and who against all convention holds out and marries for love."

Kathryn looks at him in surprise. "You read it!"

"Three years ago when you first told me how much you admired the character of Elizabeth Bennett."

Kathryn was moved beyond words. She needed to do something quickly or she would cry right on the spot. She suggested that they get him settled in his room. So she led the way to Phoebe's old bedroom. Chakotay followed with Gretchen behind him. 'I believe that I am going to like this man,' Gretchen thought. With that she decided to add a little fuel to the fire. "And you're right Katie it does not do him justice."

As Kathryn turned around to glare at her mother Chakotay raised a single eyebrow and caught her gaze. While they approached Phoebe's room Gretchen left them alone on the pretense of getting towels.

Together they put down his bags. Kathryn showed him where the closest and dressers were and then explained how to get to the bathroom. "I hope you can be comfortable here. It's Phoebe's old room." She looked around a little and realized it looked pretty much the same as it had when they were teen-agers. "I'm sorry if it is a little 'young'"

He turned around from the bed where he had begun to layout his things. In a quick glance he understood her perfectly. "I have slept in much worse." An awkward silence permeated the air. In the hallway Gretchen had been observing them. Her heart went out to her daughter. She was struggling with herself to keep calm and Gretchen knew Chakotay was doing the same. You could feel the raw emotion in the air. She walked into the room and announced that dinner would be in a half-hour. Chakotay looked at her without missing a beat. "Who is cooking?" Gretchen was surprised by his question but told him that she would be cooking. "In that case I'll be there." Immediately Gretchen understood and laughed a hearty laugh. Kathryn just punched him in the arm. 

Her mother went down to the kitchen leaving them alone. For years they had been comfortable in their silence but now it was awkward. Bridging the physical distance between them Chakotay stood facing her and placed both of his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. They both had so much to say to each other but neither was ready to speak. He leaned down and brushed his lips across her far head. She leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. For that second she felt like all was right with the world. They both stood enjoying the sensation that they both feared they had lost forever. Kathryn broke the contact first by stepping away from him. She wanted to say all the things she had never said before. She was tempted to let all the emotions flow out of her but she knew she had to wait. They had five days before the wedding and she wanted to get it right. She had done things all wrong for years! This time she had five days to make it right. "Why don't you clean up. I'll meet you in the kitchen."

Kathryn took a few moments to compose herself. Feeling his arms around her had affected her more than she expected. Although he had held her before it never felt like this did. That was because she had always spend that time in arms thinking about why she should push him away, now she was only thinking about holding on, forever. When she entered the kitchen. Her mother was diligently stirring something so she took to setting the table. "Katie you are correct. He is simply gorgeous. You never told me about the tattoo. It kind of makes him look exotic."

Kathryn just smiled as she set the glasses down. As if on cue Chakotay entered on the tale end of her mother's comment.

In an attempt to cover for herself Gretchen spoke quickly fumbling over her words. "Kathryn told me that you are a vegetarian. I made pasta primavera. I hope that will be okay. The vegetables were originally from my garden and the sauce is homemade."

He walked over to the table in the center of the room and began to help Kathryn with the table. "As long as one of the vegetables is not leola root I am sure it will be great."

"Leola root? I don't know what that is."

"Trust me mom you don't want to know." She and Chakotay shared a smiled.

"You two sit down. I'll serve the dinner. Chakotay you pour the wine. Katie you… well, Katie you just sit there."

Chakotay laughed out loud. As they settled down to eat Gretchen spoke up. "Chakotay I don't think you were a very good first officer."

Kathryn gaped at her mother.

Chakotay was used to dealing with one Janeway woman so he decided to play along. He knew this conversation was going somewhere. He just wasn't sure where. "And why is that Gretchen?"

"Isn't it a first officer supposed to look after the captain."

"Yes."

Afraid of where her mother was leading Kathryn broke in. "Mother, Chakotay is not to blame for any thing that happened to me in the Delta Quadrant. In fact he saved me from harm more times than I can count!"

Gretchen simply ignored her daughter. "Tell me, did she every eat when you were out there?"

A grin spread slowing across his face. Gretchen would be lying if she said she wasn't dazzled by it. "She ate when I forced her. If I didn't bring her food or take her to the mess hall she would not have eaten. There were many times when I took my life in my hands just suggesting that she eat. You know her 'I'll just have coffee'. So the way I see it, I was a great first officer. Without me she would have withered away to nothing!"

"Well, I guess I owe you one then."

"You probably owe me more than one! I'll think of some way for you to repay me." With that he gave her a quick little wink. 

Gretchen could easily understand how this man scared Katie so. He was an incredible flirt and handsome as the devil. "So tell me how was it working for Kathryn?" She had already heard many stories from Katie. Now she wanted to get his point of view.

That question caught her off guard and Chakotay choked a little on his wine and started to cough. After regaining his composure he thought of all the stories he could tell Gretchen. Some would make her laugh but many would make her cry. How would a mother feel knowing the details of some of the incidents her daughter had been involved in? He decided that humor was the best medicine for situation. "That is a loaded question! If I tell the truth Kathryn may kill me and if I lie you may kill me!"

"You are a very perceptive man, Chakotay."

Kathryn looked at him and smiled the sweetest phony smile she could muster. "If I didn't kill you in seven years I think you are safe." 

He immediately read the message in her eyes. She was telling him to be careful what he said to her mother. As much as the crew had been through on Voyager the people back home suffered worse. Just as she had always protected her crew now she was protecting her mother. "It was interesting working for Kathryn to say the least. I guess she told you how we came to work together." 

Gretchen nodded her head. He continued to sip his wine and eat. Between bites he told her a lot of stories. Many of them were the same ones her daughter had already told her. It was interesting to hear his point of view. It was obvious that he and Katie clashed a lot. It was also evident that she brought out very strong feelings in him. Gretchen began to form her own opinion of Chakotay. She saw him as a man of strong principles with a fierce love of family. It was not lost on her that that devotion probably saved her daughter's life more than once. As he spoke Gretchen watched her daughter. She seemed to be reliving some of the events through his words. She also noticed something else that she found very interesting. They seemed to be having an entirely different conversation with their eyes, each understanding the other. All of sudden Chakotay began to laugh.

"You should have been there the first time Kathryn joined us in Sandrines."

Now Kathryn was laughing also. 

"What, may I ask is Sandrines?" 

"It was a program on the holodeck created by Tom Paris. It was a replica of a bar that Tom knew in Marseilles."

Gretchen's face light up. "I knew it sounded familiar."

Kathryn was astonished. "How do you know Sandrines mother?"

"Your father and I went there frequently when he made trips to the academy in France. If I remember correctly they have a very nice pool table."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn. "I thought you said that you took after your father."

"I do"

"She does." They both answered.

"I don't know. From where I sit you seem pretty much alike."

They both made a sound similar to a snort. "Go on with your story."

"This was very early in our journey. For a few weeks most of the crew had been going to have a few drinks and play pool after their shifts ended but the Captain never joined us."

"You make it sound like s crime! You know very well that I was trying to allow the crew a place of their own where they would not have to be intimidated by me."

"You certainly were intimidating that night!" He turned to face Gretchen. His dimples showing as he spoke. "She walked in with Harry. I had been playing Tom and beating him easily. Looking back I think he was trying to set me up for the big hustle. Anyway, Kathryn approached the table and asked if it was billiards or pool."

Her mother was grinning from ear to ear and shaking her head in disgust. "You all fell for that?"  


"Oh, it gets better. She asked if she could play and Tom's eyes lit up. Then she looked at me and said and I quote, Commander Chakotay your stick." 

"Katie you didn't?" They both were laughing now.

Kathryn tried to speak in her own defense but Chakotay cut her off. "Yes, she did! Then I naively said it is called a cue. Needless to say I was deceived. She took the cue, broke, and promptly sank four balls. She looked at me in all innocence and said solids!" Everyone at the table was laughing even Kathryn. "I don't think she lost a match the entire trip."

"You forget. I lost one." Kathryn was telling him something Gretchen knew it. She just didn't know what.

"I'll never forget." His eyes locked with hers as they shared an embrace without touching.

Deciding that they needed time alone Gretchen stood up and began to clear the table. When Chakotay picked up some dishes she stopped him. "No, I'll clean up. I insist! Why don't you and Katie go for a walk? It is a beautiful night. When you get back we'll have some desert." They both looked a little reluctant. Neither comfortable with each other yet. "Go, go!" Gretchen shooed them out of the kitchen leaving them no choice. They both grabbed a jacket and headed out into the Indiana night air.


	6. The Wedding Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Chapter Six

It was perfect autumn evening. The sun had set but it was not quiet dark. The colors of the leaves on the trees were still evident in the evening light. Kathryn led Chakotay down the path around the back of her house and into the now barren fields. He stopped and looked around enjoying the natural beauty. 

"This is magnificent!" He turned in a circle looking in every direction. The sky was so clear. He could see all the familiar stars of the Alpha Quadrant.

His enthusiasm was contagious. To her this was just home but as she watched him marvel at what he saw she began to see it anew. He was childlike in the joy she knew he was feeling. He looked at her and called out "I'll race you!" Suddenly she found herself chasing him through her mother's fields. He kept running as joy surged through him. He felt a freedom he had not known in a long time. He ran through some bushes and stopped abruptly as he marveled at the site he found. Nestled behind the fields was a pond. The moon had peeked through the night clouds and was shining upon the water. Winded by the exercise and struck by the beauty of the pond he sank to the ground. It took Kathryn a few minutes to catch up to where he was sitting. She sat down next to him on the grass and enjoyed the night sky. They sat in silence catching their breaths.

"So, you promised me the story of how you met Will Riker. I remember him vaguely from the academy but I never actually met him."

"Well I did, eventually, but if you want the truth I sort of stood him up the first time I was supposed to meet him."

Chakotay stared at her in disbelief. "I can't believe that Will Riker was ever stood up! His reputation as a ladies man was the talk of the academy."

"Exactly!" She looked at him fully expecting him to understand. They sat half facing each other and half facing the water. They were both able to see one anothers' faces while keeping the water as a possible retreat.

"I don't get it. You stood him up because of his reputation."

She pushed his arm knocking him backward to the ground, "No! I stood him up because I knew his type and I wanted no part of it."

"Weren't you the least bit curious if everything they said was true?" He was now lying on his side. His face was propped up on his hand as his elbow rested on the ground.

"I didn't need to be curious. I dated someone just like him once and that was enough." She sat looking out at the lake and picking her fingers. How could just thinking about Cheb make her feel like this? Chakotay sat up and took her hand in his. He covered it with his other hand and gently caressed her fingers.

"When I was younger I dated a boy named Cheb Parker. He was incredibly handsome and smart. He had an intellect like no one else I knew. He was every girl's dream. He had gorgeous hair, beautiful eyes and a funny little smile. All the girls at school were after him and he pursued **me**. I couldn't believe it, me. I kept asking myself why on earth he was interested in me. I wasn't the prettiest or the smartest." She stopped, remembering the joy and the pain that Cheb Parker had brought her.

Chakotay reached over with one hand while still holding her other hand in his. He lifted her chin. "He pursued you because you are you."

She smiled shyly at his words. She was flattered because unlike Cheb he meant them. "We broke up when he didn't get into Starfleet Academy and I did. It took me years to realize that I was in love with the idea of loving someone like that. Looking back I saw how he tried to tell me what to think and how to act. When he wasn't doing that, he was all over me all the time." Kathryn's head remained down as she remembered the way she felt when he wanted sex. She no longer felt like a person then. She was more like a thing, his thing. Chakotay chuckled a little. She looked up at him sharply and pulled her hand away and swung to punch his arm. He grabbed her hand, effectively pulling her closer.

"I'm sorry! I just can't imagine anyone telling Kathryn Janeway what to think and do!"

She glared at him then softened and said, "I was much younger then."

He placed his arm around her shoulder when she began to shiver. "So how does Will Riker fit into this?"

She relaxed a little. It was funny how the pain of that summer felt so fresh tonight. "I was at the academy and I was working on my junior thesis. I had been working like crazy and my roommate convinced me to go for something to eat. Then I found out that it was a double date! The usual my boyfriend's friend etc. I almost backed out right then and there. After much cajoling I agreed. When I walked into the place and saw Will Riker sitting there I wanted to run. He was everything I was not looking for."

Chakotay finished her thought. "Handsome, smart and popular, like Cheb."

"Yes. I gathered enough courage to go in and sit down. We started talking. I began telling him about my thesis trying to bore him. Instead he was fascinated. He listened and asked questions. He understood the things I said and the ideas that I had when most people would have laughed. At that moment I realized how dangerous he was. He scared the hell out me. I made up some lame excuse and ran back to my dorm room."

"That doesn't sound like it would warrant a wedding invitation." As he spoke he reached up and brushed away a piece of errant hair.

"When Q brought him to Voyager we had a nice long talk and a good laugh. He told me that early in his career he had fallen in love with a woman from Betazed and that he was now serving on the same ship with her. He called their relationship complicated." 

"You must have had some good advice for him regarding his _complicated_ relationship."

She chuckled. "Actually their relationship is even more complicated than ours. They tried to define parameters after the fact."

"Bad idea! There will be no after the fact parameters for us!"

What he said was in the definitive. There was no if in his statement. There was a when. Kathryn placed her other hand on top of his thigh. How could she ever give this man all he deserved? She had no answer. "I never discussed parameters with him. I trust he may have asked his own captain about that." Chakotay cocked an eyebrow. "You'll see when we go to the wedding. Will told me how he lost her and how he hoped one day that they would be together, really together again. That's when he laughed and told me that Deanna, that is her name, once told him that when he finally got married he had to invite me. Since I am the only girl with the audacity to stand up the fabulous Will Riker I should be there to witness his commitment. So that's how I got invited to the wedding." She shivered as she finished the story.

"You are freezing. Let's go back." He tried to stand up but she wouldn't let him.

"No it is so beautiful. Let's stay a little longer." She didn't want to go back to the house. She had missed being with him so much. She never thought that a day without seeing him could hurt like it did. She missed the simple things, sharing meals and talking. She wasn't ready to let reality intrude on her just yet.

"Okay but come here." He pulled her up and they moved over to the big tree near the pond. They both sat down side by side. He immediately picked her up and sat her directly in front of him. As he leaned back against the tree she settled her back on his chest. He held her against his warm body. They had sat like this a hundred times on her couch in her quarters but tonight it felt like the first time. They both felt like teen-agers, nervous yet excited. They sat and watched the moon shimmering across the lake. She turned her head around quickly looking at the tree. Then she laughed. "This is my thinking tree! It's where I came when I had things to think through. I spent a lot of time here when I was a teen-ager…. And even more after my father died," she added with a whisper.

"This was your original viewport."

"Yes. It's funny how we ended up in this exact spot."

If it was at all possible he pulled her even closer. He leaned down and whispered into her ear. "I have been telling you for years, it is destiny." He gently brushed his lips across her hair and ear. Her body melted against his and he knew it. 'Take your time' old man he kept telling himself. You don't want her to run.

Her body felt like liquid. Every hair stood on end. If this was what it felt like when he kissed her hair she didn't think she would survive when he kissed her lips. Surely she would just burn up. Concentrating on her breathing she took slow calming breaths. Once she was able to relax a little she decided to ask him about his first love. It struck her that she wasn't ready to hear about his last relationship so she settled for the first. "What about your first one?"

He was surprised by her question. Was she bating him with that question or was it an innocent slip? He wasn't sure. He decided to dive in and take the bait whether she meant it or not. "My first what? Love or time?"

Never one to back down from a verbal challenge she returned his jib in their verbal match with ease. "I'll settle for either one. I am sure both will be equally as interesting." She turned slightly to face him. "And Chakotay don't spare the details."

She was flirting with him again and it felt wonderful! He saw it as a sign that they were finding their way back to each other. Only this time there were no protocols to get in the way. "The only details you will learn about **that** particular aspect of my life will come from first hand knowledge. If not, then you will have to spend the rest of your nights imagining the details! I'll tell you about the first time I thought I fell in love."

She turned around again and faced the lake. She settled her back against him once again. Then she very quietly whispered, "I already do." She knew he heard her. His body responded instantly, but he chose to ignore the comment and tell her his story. Round one to me she thought. They were back to their old ways of flirting and pushing until one person retreated. He just didn't know that she no longer had any intention of retreating. First hand knowledge was what she was after.

"I met her my first year at the academy. I was under the command of my prep squad commander Nimembeh (he heard her groan) I disassembled and reassembled my phase too slowly so he ordered me to run 10 laps. By the time I was done arguing I think it got up to 20. I had to run in my boots and uniform. If I were in sneakers or even barefooted it would have been easy. The boots made it hard but I was determined to show him!"

"So you were like that even back then?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" She could feel his body stiffen in defense.

"Ornery, argumentative." She was smiling as she said it.

He was not smiling when he replied. "My tribe called me contrary and so did she."

Kathryn could tell by his tone that it bothered him. She pulled her arms up and covered the arms that held her tightly. "We scientists call it curious and it is an excellent trait."

He suppressed the desire to kiss her head again and settled for inhaling the intoxicating aroma of her hair. After getting his fill he continued. "Anyway as I was on lap 10 or so I thought I saw him watching me, which pushed me even harder. Then I finished stumbling toward the figure at the end of the track expecting it to be him. Instead it was a woman. At first I thought it was a vision. When I first saw her I thought she was an angel. She gave me water and then invited me to meet her for a walk arboretum."

Kathryn abruptly turned around. "The arboretum! But that was were lovers met. Nobody went there for a first date! That's where couples went to you know." She rolled her hands forward as if explaining her words.

"Yes, Kathryn I know. I was there." Chakotay was clearly enjoying her outrage. Suddenly it occurred to him that she knew about the reason people went there and he didn't like it. He unconsciously tightened his grip on her arms in a possessive manner. "Did you ever go there?"

She turned back and faced the lake. She knew he was enjoying her reaction to what he said so she decided it was her turn to let him stew. She leaned into him and let out a sigh. "This is your story not mine."

'Did she just sigh. What was she remembering?' He didn't like this change of direction. He held her even tighter as if he could erase whatever she was thinking. He didn't know that the only thing she was thinking about was his arms around her. 

"We did meet that night and most nights after that. She was a very forward woman. She said and did whatever she thought or felt." She could feel him smiling and it was her turn to wonder what he was remembering. "I was head over heels in love. She was different from ever girl I had ever met. Most girls I dated did whatever they could to please me. It was like they were not themselves but what they thought I wanted them to be."

"I would imagine that wasn't very successful with you."

"At the time it was. You have to remember I was much younger than! My only frame of reference for relationships was the traditional village I left behind. There most women did acquiesce to the wishes of their mate. It wasn't until I met her that I was with a woman who didn't agree with me all the time. We argued over everything. In fact the first time that she called me contrary was when we were arguing over how I made my bed." 

"How you made your bed?" Kathryn asked incredulously.

"Yes, I refused to do the corners in accordance to Starfleet regulations and I was put on report for it. I thought my way was just as good. I felt that it was ridiculous to change my ways because of a stupid rule that had no meaning. She called me contrary because I refused to go along."

"What happened to the two of you?"

"That same night she kissed me and told me Starfleet would be good for me and left. I didn't see her again for a long time."

"It sounds like you loved her very much. I'm sorry. It sounds like she hurt you." She recognized the irony of her talking about another woman hurting him when she had done so herself over and over.

"It was long ago and I was young. She did teach me the passion of a good argument."

"It seems Commander that you have an affinity for _contrary _woman." She squirmed a little in his embrace. He held his breath to keep from groaning. Even though she had asked him about it she didn't like hearing about a woman in his life even it was in the past.

As if he could read her thoughts he nudged her to turn her around. She did and was all but straddling him on his lap. "Hey, that was long ago." She kept her eyes down afraid that they would betray her heart.

"She was long ago, but not everyone was that long ago."

He understood her perfectly. He reached his hand out and stroked her arm. He was amazed. She had never given him this much before. She looked so vulnerable right now. "We will talk about that tomorrow I promise. Okay?"

Kathryn was disappointed. She didn't want to put her feelings out there if he was still involved with Seven in any way. At the same time she knew in her heart that this was their last chance. "She muttered quietly, "okay," then she tried to get up.

He held her firmly. When she was seated again he reached his hand up and cupped her face. He forced her to look at him. "Kathryn…" he stopped wanting to get it right. "I don't know how I can make you understand."

She was embarrassed to find herself fighting back tears. She looked down but smiled weakly. "How about a legend?"

He caressed her cheek as he too smiled. He thought for a moment. "Maybe not a legend but a metaphor." He spoke very pointedly emphasizing his words. "All the other woman, from my first encounter to my last, were merely rivers, **you** are the ocean." He pulled her into him as his heart filled with emotion. Those words were as close to telling her his true feelings as he dare get tonight. So many times they had been to this point and she ran in fear. He didn't want her to do that again. He knew that this was it. Either they would be together when they returned to Voyager or it would be over forever. He was not willing to settle for the second option.

She pulled back slightly in his arms. He began to suggest that they head back but she silenced him when she put her finger gently on his lips. While his eyes remained locked on her, hers were on his lips. She took both his cheeks in her hands and pulled his face very slowly toward her. She had waited years to do this. She was afraid yet exhilarated. The moment their lips met her eyes closed. She reveled in the feel of it. Though it was quick it was extremely sensuous, full of longing and promise. 

He wanted to provide her with a means of mutual escape so he began to suggest that they return to the house. She surprised him by running her finger across his lip. He wanted to open his mouth and draw it in but he remained still. He was fascinated as she continued to stare at his mouth. Her lips were millimeters from his when he realized that she was actually going to kiss him. He had dreamed of this moment for years. He vowed to himself that when it final happened that he would savor every minute of it. He was so unprepared for her bold action that he practically missed the entire thing. It was over in the blink of an eye but the feelings she stirred were like a fire raging out of control.

She stood up and extended her hand. He took it and held on as they walked back through the fields toward the house. Unlike earlier in the evening the silence they shared was comfortable. Each lost in a common thought the kiss. Chakotay knew for his own self preservation he needed to change the mood. If he didn't he would grab her and take her directly to his room. He was sure Gretchen wouldn't like that, at least he _thought_ she wouldn't. "Do you think your mother left us any desert? I could use something sweet."

"I'm sure she did. She made you her special brownies you know. Now you can taste the real thing not a replicator's poor imitation." She let go of his hand, as the house became visible. She didn't want her mother asking her questions just yet.

They entered the house through the back door and headed for the kitchen. The sudden rush of warmth felt good. Now that they were no longer sharing body heat they were both chilled. Just as she expected there was a tray of brownies on the table. Next to it was a note. Chakotay assumed it was a simple goodnight. When he turned from the replicator with two cups of tea he saw Kathryn's face.

"There's a communication from Admiral Paris that my mother said is urgent and top secret."

"You go read it. I'll wait here." She looked at him and quickly made her decision.

"No. Let's go to the study. Owen had no way of knowing that you were here. For all we know he sent you the same message. I'll check the security clearance on the message then we'll decide what to do." They left the kitchen heading for her father's study.

They didn't know that her mother had just finished setting out the deserts seconds ago. She was going up the back steps that ran next to the pantry when she heard them come into the kitchen. She had every intention of coming back down to tell her about the message but then she heard them speaking. Before she could go back up the stairs she over heard the entire conversation. She began to cry just as she had after receiving the message. God could not be so cruel as to take Katie from her again so quickly. And what of her and Chakotay? Gretchen could tell that things were moving along with them. Katie didn't shut him out and become Starfleet the minute she got the message. She shared it with him like he was her partner. He was her partner on the ship, now Gretchen wanted him to be her daughter's partner in life. Wiping the tears from her eyes she continued up the stairs to her bed.

In the study Kathryn pulled up the encoded message. She checked the security clearance and realized it was for the command staff. She motioned for Chakotay to sit beside her. "Let's see what they have in store for us now." He leaned over her shoulder as they read the message together.


	7. The Wedding Chapter 7

Chapter Seven ****

Chapter Seven

The face of an unknown Starfleet employee filled the screen. "Voyager will be ready ahead of schedule. It is imperative that you contact Owen Paris for the details of your mission." The screen filled with the emblem of Starfleet as the transmission ended. She turned and looked at Chakotay. 

She turned around and looked at him grabbing the hand he had laid on her shoulder. "I guess I should call Owen now." She didn't want to. She wasn't ready to return. She had things; they had things, to resolve before returning. 

His thoughts echoed hers. For seven years she had put off their happiness for Starfleet. They had both hurt each other deeply more than once. They had lost their way and because of his stupidity they almost lost everything. He didn't want her to call but they both knew she had no choice. "You call him. I'll listen from over here." He had walked from behind her chair to the other side of the room. "He won't be able to see me if I stay here."

She jumped up and put both her hands on her hips in typical Janeway fashion. "I have no reason to hide the fact that you are here!" Kathryn was indignant at his suggestion.

He smiled a warm smile. "I wasn't suggesting that you should hide the fact that I am here, just delay it. If he is speaking to both of us he may not speak as freely as he would to you alone."

Immediately she calmed. He was right. She sat back down. "Fine but listen closely."

Admiral Owen Paris' face filled the screen. "Kathryn it is good to see you! You look well."

"Thank you. Now what is this all about?"

"Relax Kathryn. It is a humanitarian mission. There is a planet in the outer sector of the Alpha Quadrant that was devastated by an intruder's attack. We, The Federation, have been asked to help provide medical supplies and food."

"When will the ship be ready?"

"The re-fitting will be completed by Saturday. I would say once final diagnostics are complete it should be ready to depart Monday. You are to inform your crew to be aboard and ready to leave by 0800 and you are required to be here by Friday."

"I cannot do that Owen." Both the admiral and Chakotay flinched at her response.

His expression hardened just slightly. Chakotay couldn't see him but he felt his expression in his tone. "Why not Captain Janeway?"

If he thought that he could intimidate her with the use of her title he was wrong! "First of all you are not telling me everything. The last time I went on a mission I was woefully uninformed of the true facts concerning the criminals that I was sent to capture. I will not be put in that position again. So tell me Owen, why Voyager?" She gave him her best Janeway glare. Though he was loathed to admit it, it did have the desired effect.

"The planet is located very close to an area of space that was once part of the neutral zone. Although the Romulans helped us in our fight against the Dominion the alliance is tenuous at best. There have been rumors of civil unrest on the Romulan homeworld. A group of young disidants is calling for a return to the glorious ways of their ancestors. We don't think the Romulans actually attacked the planet themselves but we fear they were behind those that did. Voyagers presence in the area will provide the strong statement that we want to make." Owen looked directly at Kathryn and knew she was not yet committed. He softens his features and spoke in a quiet solemn tone. "We made a mistake once with the Cardassians we do not wish to repeat it with the Romulans."

Kathryn heard Chakotay's intact of breath. She knew he was trying to manipulate her. She tried not to look at Chakotay. That last sentence would certainly pull at his heart. "I will be there Sunday."

Admiral Paris began to protest but Kathryn cut him off. "I am going to Commander Riker's wedding on Saturday. I will report to Starfleet headquarters in San Francisco on Sunday."

"Kathryn there will be a wealth of information that you will have to learn. Your ship is filled with new technology. Even **you** cannot possible learn it in one day. We need you here now!" He was getting angry but Kathryn didn't care.

Kathryn got a look in her eye that only Chakotay would recognize. Admiral Paris would not win this argument. He felt some relief in knowing that the time they had planned to spend together would not be cut short. For a moment it felt like déjà vu. Just as they were beginning to break through some of their self imposed barriers Starfleet requirements put up another roadblock, but his time Kathryn would not allow it.

She could feel the color rising on her face. She was mad. " I spent seven years living for everyone but myself. Right now I have some very important personal things to take care of before I leave again. Someone at Starfleet will have to contact the members of my crew except for Commander Chakotay. I will inform him and ask him to join me **Sunday** when I arrive." She deliberately stared directly at the admiral. "Owen, this is non-negotiable." Her features remained firm. There was no way in hell that she would give up these days with Chakotay to sit with some muckity mucks telling her about **her** ship.

He was not happy. The frown lines appeared around his mouth. "There are a lot of people who did not want to send Voyager. They didn't have faith that you could handle this delicate mission so soon after returning. There was even fear that the situation might stir up old feelings in your first officer bringing his commitment into question." He was attempting to push the ultimate button.

Admiral Paris' ploy backfired. He was trying to challenge her, knowing that she would do anything to prove herself. Offering a chance to have her first officer prove his allegiance to Starfleet was an added bonus. He had no way of knowing how much her time in the Delta Quadrant had changed her. She made countless life and death decisions and lived with the burden of each and every consequence. She had nothing to prove to anyone! After so many years of mistakes she decided that her first duty was to herself. "Then send someone else. Good-night Owen." Kathryn reached to end the transmission. 

"Fine! I'll inform the Admiralty that you will be there Sunday. They will not be pleased and you can expect to hear about it. Good-night Captain Janeway."

"Good-night Admiral Paris." She leaned a little closer to the screen. "And Owen, tell them not to waste my time with more bureaucracy. If I learned anything on my last mission it is that time is too valuable to waste." With that last statement she ended the transmission and looked to the other side of the room where Chakotay was standing. He was grinning ear to ear.

She stood up and walked toward him. "What is so funny?"

He walked to meet her in the middle of the room. "Nothing is funny I am just happy about the decision you made. He was right. My heart aches for the people on the planet. I understand their situation all too well. But I do not want to give up this week of having you all to myself." His heart was soaring! She had chosen him over duty.

She reached up and ran her fingertips across his tattoo. "Chakotay there was no _decision_." He reached up and glided her hand to his lips where he kissed her palm." Their eyes were smoldering. Hunger radiated in their pupils. He had a powerful urge to engulf her in his arms and carry her to his room but she wasn't ready yet. She was close but not yet.

Finally she spoke in a voice as raspy as aged whiskey. I think we should get some sleep. We are going to need the rest if we are going to go sailing on Lake George tomorrow."

He chuckled as he led her out of the room. They got to the top of the stairs and parted each going to their own room. Just as she was about to enter her bedroom he called her name. He walked over to her, took her face into his hands and leaned in and kissed her. This was not a swift brushing of the lips like before. He kept his lips firmly pressed to hers. She reached her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He let the tip of his tongue slid out and caress her lips. Just as she was about to respond in kind he broke away. Slowly he slid his right hand off the side of her cheek. "Good-night Kathryn." He walked to his room knowing she was watching him. He paused for a moment and looked over his shoulder. "Don't let your imagination run too wild!" He slipped into Phoebe's room grinning like a Cheshire cat. 

She plopped down on her bed and thought 'round two to him!'

The next morning they stood in the kitchen ready to go.

"Katie you look tired. Didn't you sleep well last night?" Gretchen asked with motherly concern.

"No, I didn't." She answered her mother as she continued to pack the food her mother had made for them.

Gretchen took her daughter's hands and asked with a sense of urgency in her voice. "Was it the message from Starfleet?"

Kathryn abruptly stopped what she was doing. She reached out and hugged her mother recognizing the fear her mother was feeling. As she stepped away Chakotay entered the kitchen with the fishing gear from the cellar. "No, mom it wasn't the message that kept me awake." She turned to look pointedly at Chakotay. "It was something else entirely."


	8. The Wedding Chapter 8

Chapter 8 ****

Chapter 8

They arrived at the dock loaded down. In her left hand Kathryn carried a gigantic picnic basket stuffed with food and drinks. On her right shoulder she carried a canvas bag of beach towels. The bag would not have been so cumbersome if it hadn't included an extra set of Kathryn's clothes. It wasn't that she didn't trust Chakotay she just believed in being prepared. Chakotay held two fishing poles and some sort of box that he called a tackle box. He was determined to teach her to fish. She had a feeling that her fishing would be just about as good as her cooking. When they got close to the old building at the dockside an old man ambled out of the building. He walked straight toward them in a determined gait. As he got closer he called out. "Katie girl is that really you?"

"It's me Jonsey."

He swept her up in a hug. Once he was finished he eyed Chakotay up and down. "And who might this be?"

"Jonesy this is my friend Chakotay." Chakotay extended his hand. The old man would have none of it. He hugged Chakotay and slapped him on the back. "I was kidding I would know this man any where. I keep informed you know. That was some incredible discovery you made out there in the desert."

She didn't bother trying to hide her surprise. "What discovery?"

Chakotay shrugged as if to say that it was nothing.

They were walking toward the dock and the boat that they would use for the day. Jonesy answered her quickly. "At the archeological dig in Arizona that he is in charge of pieces of poetry were discovered with identical markings as those found on a planet located in the outskirts of the Alpha Quadrant. It is believed to be a piece of history that links the two civilizations." Jonesy was smiling. Proud to be in such distinguished company. They had reached the boat by now. Kathryn laid her things on the ground and climbed aboard. Chakotay handed her all their supplies over the rail before he joined her. Jonesy gave her some last minute reminders. He asked, "When do you think you might return?" 

Kathryn was already moving about the ship getting the sails ready so Chakotay answered. "We're not sure. Is there any particular time that you need the boat back?"

"I leave at four. If I am gone just tie her up tight. ." He gave Chakotay a wink. "The weather should be mild. It will be clear sailing for you." He lowered his voice talking only to the man in front of him. "Take care of Katie girl. She is very special. I may not be her father but I'll knock you down just the same if you hurt her!" Jonesy began to walk back toward the old house before a stunned Chakotay could reply. He stopped and turned around and yelled, "Katie girl remember she's a boat not a starship!" Both Kathryn and Chakotay laughed as Jonesy disappeared inside.

It took them a good fifteen minutes to ready the ship. Kathryn did most of the work and barked orders at him when she needed him to do something. If truth were told it wasn't that he couldn't remember what to do it was just that he was so distracted. Kathryn was standing at the front of boat. She had on a pair of white cotton pants that came to the bottom of her calf. The way the sun was shining on her as she worked they became completely transparent. He could already feel his heartbeat increasing. Finally she had finished raising the sail and yelled to him to untie the ropes. Tearing his eyes from her he did as he was told. Once he finished they headed out onto the open waters.

It was a day that could only be classified as Indian summer. Even though it was late September the sun was hot. He was glad he had worn light slacks and gladder still that he had brought his bathing suit. They sat facing each other as the warm breeze stroked their skin.

"Why didn't you tell me about the discovery?"

"To tell you the truth in comparison to your inviting me here it didn't seem important."

"Oh, Chakotay I can't believe that. This is the find of a lifetime!"

"The night the discovery was made was the night after your first message. I was thrilled with the find. I organized the careful recovery that evening and rejoiced loudly when the pottery was unearthed in tacked. Then I shut down the camp and went home. Your message was the only thing on my mind." He reached one hand over and took her hand. "The following couple of days were hectic and filled with joy but the minute you invited me to Indiana all I could think about was leaving. Starfleet wanted me to stay and continue working on the site and I just said no. I figured that if they came after me I could always call my friend the celebrated Kathryn Janeway to help me out."

Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked at him. "I can't believe that you left behind the find of a lifetime to come to see me."

He cupped her tiny face in his gigantic bronze hands. "I did not leave behind the find of a lifetime, I came to claim the find of my lifetime." He leaned over and kissed her softly. 

The hot sun, the closeness of her body, the wonderful tight yellow tee shirt all combined to create an intoxicating atmosphere. He kissed her again this time allowing her to explore his mouth. She licked his lips tentatively. He opened for her inviting her to come inside. She did. Her tongue swirled inside simultaneously probing and dancing within the uncharted waters she had just entered. He dare not reach out and hold her or the day would be over before it began. Instead he hesitantly pulled back. He looked deeply into her eyes speaking to her in words unspoken. She understood. He wasn't pulling away; he was just taking it slow.

He stood up and grabbed her hand. "Come on let's do some fishing."

For the next half-hour he tried in vain to teach her. He could not understand how someone who comprehended temporal physics could not catch a fish. For spirits sake she handled a pool cue with amazing dexterity and she couldn't even hold a fishing rod correctly! 

They were standing on the port side of the boat trying to untangle their lines. "Chakotay, face it I am hopeless!"

"We need to catch some fish. I promised your mother a fresh fish dinner tomorrow."

She walked about three feet away. She sat down on a long cabinet that ran around that part of the boat. She put her feet up and raised her face to the sun. "Well I suggest you get to work! I'll just sit here and enjoy the sun."

He shot her a glare that quickly turned into a smile. He did love fishing and she looked so beautiful there. Something about it made him feel at peace. It led him to thoughts of the village where he spent his childhood. As he thought he cast his line out and within seconds he had a bite. He reeled the fish in carefully and deposited into the bucket. He turned around a minute to give her a look that said see how easy this is. She just shrugged. He went back to work. They would need at least five good size fish for dinner since Kathryn's sister and her family were coming. Suddenly feeling the effects of the heat Chakotay put his fishing pole against the rail and tugged at his shirt. He removed it and threw it toward the front of the boat. He continued fishing lost in his thoughts.

Kathryn was lost herself but not in thoughts. She was lost in the sight of him. His bronze skin seemed even darker soaked in sun. As he cast out his line the muscles of his back rippled. He looked sexier than she ever imagined. She closed her eyes and remembered the feel of his lips on hers once again. She'd already memorized his taste. She almost felt his tongue nudging her lips open. She watched him pull in one more fish. Her body yearned to touch him. After he had settled his line in the water once again she walked up behind him. He held the pole in his right hand. She slide under his left arm and leaned against him. He quickly draped his left arm over her shoulder. Her body was flush against his side. He continued holding the fishing pole with his other hand. Kathryn turned just slightly and ran her lips up the side of his chest leaving feather-like kisses as she went. When she reached his nipple all pretense of fishing was gone. He put the pole down and turned to her. He picked her up and sat her precariously balanced on the rail facing him. She snaked her arms around his neck and continued her oral assault. This time the target was his face. Because of the rail she was now his equal in height. She placed kisses on his forehead and cheeks. She ran her tongue along the blue lines on his face. He groaned as her tongue slid across his tattoo. The dreams he had were nothing compared to the sensuality of the moment. She backed her head away gauging his reaction to her. She had no time to contemplate it as he crushed his lips to hers. He wrapped his arms around her back and crushed her body to his. He kissed her with wild abandon. He kissed her like he had kissed no other woman. He kissed her with his entire being attempting to brand her with his lips. She was his! The kiss broke out of necessity as each had forgotten to breathe. Years of hunger erupted as she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him to the rail. They both gasped as the most intimate parts of their bodies connected. The cotton barrier of clothing was not enough to hide the signs of longing their bodies produced. She sealed her lips to his. She moved her tongue rhythmically in and out as he matched her movements with his hips. Time seemed to stop. They were lost in the sensations of their bodies. 

A sudden loud flapping noise caught their attention. They broke apart and Kathryn jumped down cursing as she did. One of the sails had come untied and the corner was lose and flapping in the breeze. The moment was lost but the tension remained. Chakotay followed her and helped her pull the rope in that needed to be tied down.

"Maybe we should call this sail Tuvok. Its timing seems to be just as good," he said as he assaulted her with a broad smile.

She laughed in spite of the frustration of the moment. Once the sail was secured they headed back to where the gear was stored. Kathryn pulled out the food basket. "How about some lunch? I seem to have worked up an appetite with all this _fishing_." She winked at him as she said it. He found himself laughing out loud as they sat down to eat.

They set the blanket out on the deck and laid out the food. Her mother had out done herself.

Chakotay looked down at all the food. "Either your eating habits had changed drastically in four months or you mother is afraid we will be ship wrecked!"

Kathryn laughed. "But she did pack the good stuff." She began taking things out one by one. "Wine, cheese, bread, pasta, chocolate cake, and _strawberries_. Looks like a meal fit for a king," she said as she handed him a glass of wine.

He raised his glass to hers, "and his queen." They drank deeply. They began to eat. Chakotay was trying to work up his courage. After a few pieces of cheese and some bread he finally spoke. "I know you want to talk about Seven." He looked at her to check her response. She tried her best not to choke. All she could do was shake her head yes.

He put down his wine and stretched out his legs. "I thought about it for a long time. I almost can't remember how it started. Out of the clear blue sky she invited me to dinner. I was stunned but to be honest I thought it was just an attempt to be more social. The idea that she wanted a date never crossed my mind." He looked over at Kathryn. Her head was down and she was playing with her hands. This was difficult to tell and probably even more difficult for her to hear. "All we did was have dinner in the mess hall but something felt different. It was like she was trying very hard. She was asking me questions about my background and myself. Then it dawned on me that she was acting like a person on their first date. I thought she might be trying to put into practice some of the social lessons the doctor had given her. I chuckled a little. I didn't want to embarrass her so I played along." Inspite of the situation Kathryn smiled at she pictured his kindness. "I guess I kind of got trapped. I just went along with things. When I looked back and thought about it I think there are probably many reasons. I was sincere in that I didn't want to hurt her. I knew how hard it was for her to take this step in her growth. Whether I was full of myself or not, I thought that if I stopped whatever it was we were engaged in, it might ruin her chances of a romantic relationship in the future." He laughed for her. "I know, I know I thought rather higher of myself. What I was thinking about was her vulnerability. In essence she is nothing more than an adolescent." He leaned over and took a very long drink of wine, draining his glass. He refilled both of their glasses. In a gesture that was unexpected she reached over and took Chakotay's hand in hers. Even though she wanted to know the truth she knew it was hard for him to tell it knowing that he had hurt her with the relationship. Why was it that his liaisons were never just quick sex? They always involved more. Maybe that depth was one of the reasons she loved him so. 

He smiled at her as she took his hand. "As things progressed I was very flattered by her interest in me. I mean come on I am old enough to be her father and the fact that she was interested in me turned my head around. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that I was intrigued by being the first one to teach her about the physical aspects of a relationship." He felt Kathryn's hand flinch as he said that. "It never went that far Kathryn."

"Did you want it to?" She searched his eyes for the truth.

He put his head down. She knew his answer. "At the time I was very lonely. It would have been easy to fall into her arms but I didn't. We did kiss but nothing more. After the fourth date I discovered something that bothered me." He was gently stroking her hands trying to get through this. "Remember those times when she was not at her post but was in the holodeck? She was not doing research. She had created a program of her and I. It was a rather romanticized version." 

Kathryn's mouth was agape. "You mean she created a program of you? Then she practiced her… social skills on you."

"Yes."

"I could have thrown her in the brig for that!"

"I know."

"How did you find out?"

"As you know after the Admiral came things got a little hectic. Apparently she told Seven that she would die and that it would hurt me deeply. I tried to tell her that life is filled with chances. My mouth was saying the words yet in my heart I recognized the perfect opportunity to end it but I didn't. I knew we were possibly heading for home and that meant a new life and new possibilities and I was afraid to leave her alone. I felt like she was dependent on me. I mentioned something like that to the doctor and he got snippy. That's when he told me about the program and that he thought I was nothing more than an experiment."

The one questioned she was burning to ask was stuck in her throat. He remained still as the remembrance of bad decisions weighed him down.

She took her hand from his and settled them in her lap. Finally she asked in a voice that was barely audible, "Why didn't you tell me?"

He knew it was coming but he wasn't ready. How could he tell her that he knew he was betraying everything they had together but he did it any way? That at night in his bed after he had been with Seven he almost cried for the guilt he felt. He knew they had unspoken promises and he knew he broke them. It didn't matter that it seemed like she had forgotten them he should have been stronger. He should have held on. "I was ashamed."

"Ashamed? Of Seven?"

"Of myself." 

She understood. He didn't need to tell her. After all the times she had pushed him away the attentions from Seven must have felt wonderful. "I thought that it wouldn't hurt but it did. I had no right to feel that way but when the Admiral told me I wanted to die. I knew that I was living in the hell that I had created but I hated it just the same." She paused for a moment. She didn't want to add to his guilt. "Why did it end?"

He finally smiled. He slide over next to her. Both of them where leaning against the box that held the life jackets. He put his right arm around her shoulder and she snuggled close. Although she wanted to know, it was the past. He was here with her now and that was all that mattered. "Once we returned I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I thought about taking a trip to my homeworld. When I suggested it to her she told me it was illogical everyone was dead." Kathryn winced. "Then she told me that I was not the man she thought I was and didn't think that we should continue seeing each other. This time I did not argue. Later that night B'Elanna called me and told me there was something that I should see. She had been cleaning up the computer before our review by Starfleet and she came across an interesting program. When I went to see it, it was the program that Seven had created of me. Now I knew why I was not the man she had thought I was. In her program I was perfect. I said all the right things. I never got mad, in fact I never even got emotional. I had no passion. I was, well, a hologram."

Kathryn reached up and traced his face in a gesture that had quickly become familiar. "She didn't know you at all."

"No she didn't. And for a few weeks I guess I didn't know myself either." Kathryn leaned in and kissed him gently. Chakotay burst out laughing. Kathryn's jumped and pulled her face back. He grabbed her and pulled her closer again. "I'm sorry. I was just remembering what happened when B'Elanna found out about Seven."

"What happened? What's so funny?"

"She broke my nose! One punch."

They were both laughing now. "That's what really happened. And you said that you were boxing on the holodeck."

They were both very relaxed and happy. Chakotay suggested a swim. They both went to separate ends of the boat to find whatever privacy was possible and changed into their bathing suits. They jumped in the water like two kids. They splashed around and laughed the afternoon away. Finally they came back on board and decided to lie in the sun to dry. Both of them fell asleep content in the knowledge that they would be together when they woke up. Kathryn woke first and watched him. The rise and fall of his chest as his breathed was mesmerizing. She knew that she could spend the rest of her life just watching him breath. Had they really done it? Had they found their way back and beyond? As she was thinking he began to stir. 

He rolled on his side facing her. "Hi!"

"Hi," she answered as she put her arm around his waist. It felt so good to have the freedom to touch him.

"I believe I could get used to this," he said drawing her close to him.

"I was just thinking exactly the same thing!" They remained wrapped in each other's arms enjoying the newfound intimacy. Suddenly Chakotay realized that his chest was wet. He pushed her away so he could see her.

"What's wrong?"

"Chakotay I am so sorry." She was crying harder now. "I took you for granted for so long. All those years you were there beside me. Helping me, guiding me, loving me. I never told you how much I appreciated it. You gave me everything and asked for nothing. I know you deserve someone better than me."

He grabbed her with both of his hands almost shaking her. "Look at me Kathryn. Look at me!" She finally did. "It doesn't matter what you think I deserve. The only thing that matters is what I want and I want you!" He rolled her over and covered her with his body. Aware of the fact that they were on the deck of the boat he kept his weight balanced on one arm. He kissed her. He began with her mouth giving it the full attention it deserved. The he moved down to her neck alternating between kisses and small bites. He had a childish desire to leave a mark on her letting everyone know that she belonged to him. He worked his way down to the valley between her breast. He trailed a few kisses along her creamy freckled skin. Then looking up at her she heard him say, "god how I want you!" They fell into a frenzy of kissing. 

Kathryn had never been kissed like this before. It had all the eagerness of a first time but all the skill of an experienced lover. Nothing came close to how she felt in his arms. She wanted nothing more than to rip off his swim trunks right there. She knew he felt the same way. As she was debating how to accomplish it he abruptly stood up. He walked in circles for a few minutes. Kathryn was confused. Was she reading him wrong? All her insecurities surfaced and he could see them in her face. He walked over and hugged her while he whispered in her ear. "I want you more than words can express but not here. I want time to relish it, to enjoy every second of our lovemaking. I don't want to worry about someone seeing us. I want privacy and a soft bed to love you as I have dreamed of for years. Is that okay?" He stepped back as he asked her that questions.

"We will find the right time and place." She answered. He turned to begin packing up their stuff. She grabbed his hand. "But don't wait too long because I have had the same dream for years!"

The sun had set just before they pulled into the dock. Jonesy was gone and the area was quiet. They tied up the boat and gathered their things for the transport back to her mother's house. 

They had both thrown their clothes on over their bathing suits so they were both a little wet and uncomfortable. The warmth of the day had given way to a cool fall evening. The only thing on their minds when they entered the house was a good hot shower. Kathryn called for her mother as she walked through the foyer. There was no answer. "That's funny." She looked through the entire house but Gretchen was not there. She went into the kitchen trying not to panic and there by the coffee maker was a note. Chakotay had come up behind her as he too was beginning to get worried. Kathryn turned around and faced him. "My mother has gone to Phoebe's for the night. Apparently Phoebe's sitter canceled and she has some big dinner to attend with her husband. My mother said not to worry she plans on spending the night and returning with Phoebe and her family for dinner tomorrow." Chakotay's eyes had turned a dark brown. Kathryn knew what he was thinking. Just to be sure she went onto her tiptoe toes and kissed him firmly. 'Oh yeah he was thinking exactly what she was.' "Why don't you take the first shower and I'll make us some hot tea." He grabbed her for one last kiss before he left for the bathroom. Kathryn tried to get out two teacups but her hands were shaking. Tonight she would not be sleeping with her imagination.


	9. The Wedding Chapter 9

****

Chapter 9

He came down the stairs still slightly damp from his shower. She heard him before she saw him. As she walked from the kitchen to the living room she began to yell, "I hope you left me …" She stopped dead in her tracks the moment she saw him. He was wearing a thin white pair of pajama pants with no shirt. He kept a towel wrapped around his neck. As he stepped off the final step he rubbed the towel through his hair shaking away the final drops of water. The only coherent thought she could muster was that he was magnificent. He looked like a god. 

"What were you saying? I couldn't hear you."

She stammered a little before she actually got the sentence out. "I said that I hoped that you left me some hot water."

"Oh I did. Don't worry." He was still drying his hair and she was still staring. 

She started to walk toward the steps. "I guess I better get up there. I am pretty cold. I left your tea on the counter in the kitchen." For some reason she couldn't take her eyes off of him. She even watched him as she disappeared up the stairs.

Chakotay couldn't help but smile. He knew he had rattled her just as he had intended. He went to the kitchen to get his tea. He brought it into the living room and sat down on the couch. As he sipped his tea he planned the night's events, a slow and memorable seduction. He began to wonder what kinds of sexual experiences she had had. All he knew was that she had been with that jerk Cheb. Then there had been Justin and finally Mark. They had never really discussed anything about the intimacies of either of their past relationships. That would have been a very dangerous conversation to have had on board Voyager. He chuckled a little as he pictured it in his mind. "Did you like it when Mark did that?" He could see a blush creeping up her face as she thought about it. In this imaginary conversation he still wanted her to say no, she didn't enjoy anything with Mark. The conversation was interrupted by the doorbell. Chakotay looked from the door to the steps. He heard the shower running so he decided to answer the door.

He opened the door to find a man of medium height. He had sandy blonde hair and glasses. The man standing there was obviously shocked. Chakotay stood, still in just his pajama bottoms, and waited. The man tried to speak but the words seemed to be tripping on his tongue. Finally he managed. "I'm sorry" he said. "I was looking for Kathy. Is she here?"

Chakotay looked him up and down. He had a sneaky suspicion that he knew who this was and he didn't like him. "Who are you?"

Put on the defensive he replied sharply, "A better question might be who are you and why are you dressed like that?"

"That's easy. None of your business and I just took a shower."

"Well, is Kathy here?"

They were both standing their ground, Chakotay with both hands above his head holding onto the doorframe. This position seemed to increase his height significantly. He filled the entire area, effectively blocking any view the stranger might have had of the inside of the house. The other man stood not four feet from Chakotay looking and feeling very small. "You still didn't tell me who you are."

"I am an old friend."

"Could you be more specific?" Chakotay leaned out of the door just slightly. Anyone who had been battle trained would have recognized it for what it was, a threat. Unfortunately for his own sake the man was not a fighter he was a scholar and continued to push the issue.

"I don't think I need to answer any of your questions. I am an old friend of Kathy's and I am always welcome here. Now please tell her that I am here!" He said the last sentence in what he hoped would be perceived as a forceful manner.

Chakotay would have liked nothing better than to punch him in the face but he knew Kathryn wouldn't like it. "Kathryn (he spoke her name slowly pointing out the childishness of his calling her Kathy) is in the shower right now. When she is finished we will sit down and drink our tea and talk. Then when we are done I will lead her upstairs where I will make love to her all night long. As for you being welcome here I believe you gave up that right years ago when you wrote Kathryn that letter."

The man on the porch blanched. "Who the **hell** are you? You have no right to talk to me like that. You know nothing about KATHY and me!" He was now moving closer to Chakotay.

Chakotay countered his move. They now stood on the porch almost face to face. One small man with an overcoat to keep him warm. One large man in his pajamas with his anger to keep him warm.

Chakotay raised his voice. "I'll tell you who the **hell** I am. I am the man who will marry her. The man who will stand by her side for the rest of our lives. The man who will not turn tail and run when things get inconvenient for me! That's who I am!"

Kathryn had finished her shower and had just entered the living room when she heard voices on the porch. She didn't know who Chakotay was talking to. Had her mother changed her mind? No it couldn't be her. She would have just come into the house. She walked to the door and saw Chakotay's back. She couldn't see who was there so she slide around him and stepped onto the porch in her robe. Standing about two inches apart looking like they were about to fight were Chakotay and Mark. 'Oh my gosh.' She took Chakotay's hand in hers trying to calm him. He finally noticed her arrival. He placed his arm passively on her shoulder. "Hello Mark what brings you here?"

Still staring intently at the Neanderthal man standing next to Kathy, Mark answered her. "I just came by to bring you the dog dish. I forgot to bring it the other day. Your mother said she would give it to Phoebe for me." He finally looked at Kathy. "I am sorry if I came at a bad time."

Chakotay continued to give him a hard stare. Kathryn asked him, "Would you like to come in for some tea?"

Mark looked at the man and then back at Kathy. "Tea! I guess some things are bound to change in seven years."

Chakotay spoke his first words since Kathryn had come out to find them. His eyes got colder. "Lots of things change but then again you already knew that. Didn't you Mark?"

Mark ignored him. He addressed only Kathy. "No, thanks. I'll be on my way." With that he turned and left.

Chakotay and Kathryn walked arm and arm into the house. She knew something had transpired between the two men but she didn't know what. She could feel the tension radiating from Chakotay's body. The strength of his grip on her had not lessened Trying to broach the subject carefully she said, "I never introduced you two."

"Don't worry, he knows exactly who I am."

Not wanting to discuss Mark with her at this moment he directed her toward the kitchen. "Come on," he said, "let's go into the kitchen for a snack."

"I can't." She broke away from him and began to walk past the couch and toward the stairs.

He was afraid that she was mad at him because of the way he treated Mark. He wasn't sure how much she had heard. But he wouldn't apologize. He hoped she had not heard his declaration that he would marry her. He wanted to bring that up in his own time. Actually Mark was just lucky he didn't punch him! "Why not?"

"I need to dry my hair." She had almost reached the top when he started to follow her.

"I'll come with you."

Kathryn stopped and looked down at him. "I don't need your help."

"I don't plan on helping. I plan on doing it for you." He took the steps two at a time catching up to her as she reached the landing at the top. Together they went to her room.

She sat down at the chair in front of her vanity. He sat on the edge of the bed. Kathryn was wrapped tightly in her robe while Chakotay remained in his pajama pants. She handed him her brush and her blow dryer. He began by slowly brushing her wet hair way from her face. He turn on the dryer and set it to warm. He moved the dryer around her head as he used his other hand to comb through her hair. He ran his fingers up the back of her head fanning her hair out as he dried it. The length, just barely below her shoulders, gave him just enough to stroke through. As he passed his hand through each section he very casually brushed his hands across her neck. From years of standing behind her he knew how this would affect her. He turned off the dryer and returned to the brush. He pulled the brush through her hair inch by inch. Her scalp was tingling and her neck was on fire. He put the brush down and used all of his fingers to massage her scalp. Kathryn's head fell back on reflex. His hands felt so good. He was watching her in the mirror. Her eyes had closed and her head was back cocked slightly to the left. Soon he would see that face clench as the waves of release approached.

She was already lost. He had moved his hands to the back of her neck. Memories of New Earth flooded her. This time there would be no retreat. He pulled the collar of her robe just slightly so he could reach the tight muscles that joined her shoulder and neck. He rolled his thumbs up and down as the muscles began to loosen. He could feel her body weakening. He wanted it trembling. He needed to see her. His hand reached down over her shoulder and touched her hand. He made a motion to pull her to her feet. She stood and turned and faced him. Slowly she untied the knot that secured her robe. Seductively she disrobed and let the garment fall to the floor in a pool around her feet revealing a satin light blue gown. The neckline was just high enough to be descent and just low enough to be inviting. Chakotay was transfixed. She was gorgeous. The long satin material clung to her hips giving him an outline of her body. Tentatively he reached out his right hand and placed it tenderly on her hip. He carefully inched toward her and brought his mouth to hers. The contact of their lips instinctively drew their bodies closer together. The sensuous feel of her gown rubbed against Chakotay's bare chest. He couldn't contain the groan the had formed in his throat. Overcome with desire he spun her in his arms and landed her on the bed. He followed her down and rolled on his side facing her. They both laid still savoring the decision to surrender. In their minds they replayed all the times they had backed away and they both knew in their hearts that tonight was the beginning of forever. 

Chakotay wrapped her in his arms and pulled her to him. Bodies flush they kissed a long lingering kiss. He was far too close to exploding. He felt like a virgin. He shifted positions so Kathryn was on her back. He locked eyes with her as his hands began to caress her. He began with her neck. Using his fingertips to draw swirls across her collar bone. The tip of his index finger descended down her neckline. Still watching her eyes he saw her pupils dilate as her breath quickened. He continued his slow movements as his hand changed direction and moved to the right of her cleavage. He began by slowly rubbing his palm back and forth across the fabric. Her body stiffened more with each pass. This was exquisite torture. She had never been with anyone who had taken this much time and he had yet to move below her chest. Her thoughts were interrupted by his mouth. He had pulled his body up and began kissing her through the material. His mouth found the spot it sought and sucked gently. Kathryn's body rocked. Her hips pushed up into the air and her head pushed back into the pillow. If it was possible to smile while doing what he was doing Chakotay was. Knowing that he was pleasing her only increased his desire. Without removing his mouth he slide the strap down her shoulder until he was forced to let go. Now with no barrier he used his tongue. Slowly licking circles. Kathryn was moaning. He moved to the other side and repeated his assault. Unable to withstand anymore she wrapped hers arms under his arm and flipped him over. She was successful only because she caught him off guard. Now he was laying on the bed and she was on top of him.

Both of them could feel each other's heart pounding. Chakotay's arousal was pressing against her thigh. Her breathing was ragged. He looked up at her inquisitively. He knew she was enjoying what he had been doing so this change surprised him. As if she had read his mind she said, "I just need a minute to catch me breath." She laid her head softly on his chest. He reached up and stroked her hair.

"Take all the time you need."

Kathryn wanted him to understand. "Chakotay it's just… it's just…I have never been with anyone so attentive before. I feel like…"

He finished her thought, "a virgin?" She didn't respond so he continued. "I feel the same way. Kathryn look at me or rather feel me, I am almost fifty years old and my body is acting like it's eighteen!"

She raised her head to see his face then she laughed. He continued sweeping his hand through her hair. This time it was he who did the turning. In one motion he had her on her back with his powerful arms supporting him leaning on each side of her of her shoulder. He looked deeply into her eyes and saw the same desire in hers that he felt shining from his. "Kathryn we might not be virgins, but everyone and everything that went before were nothing. This **is** my first time with my _Imzadi _ and nothing can ever compare to that." Chakotay descending onto her and kissed her deeply relishing the thought that this would be the first of many nights together. His destiny was in his arms.

He slid down her body taking her gown with him. He lifted her up slightly and removed it completely. Kneeling between her slightly parted legs he looked at her. Kathryn began to get embarrassed. She wanted to cover herself with the sheet but he just knelt there and stared. "You are so beautiful," he whispered. "You are everything I imagined and more. His hands were skimming up and down her legs. She was enjoying this but he could sense that she was getting nervous. "Relax Kathryn let me love you." As he said those words his fingers found her. He teased her by brushing his fingers across her hair repeatedly. Even though there was much more in store for her, this was almost enough to send her over the edge. When she thought she could take no more he used his fingers to part her and began to stroke the inner area. As his fingers flicked across her core her body sky rocketed. He continued rubbing her flesh with his thumb as he used his other finger to delve inside. He wanted her completely ready for him. It had been a long time for her and he didn't want to hurt her. Alternating his rhythms in and out he could see her reaching the plateau but she was fighting it. "Come on Kathryn let go. Give me the joy of pleasing you." As his hands continued his mouth reached up and took her peak into his mouth. That did it. Her body locked for a second as she called his name. Then she thrashed side to side. He did not stop his fingers. He only slowed down riding her wave as he did. Slowly he brought her down until they both collapsed on the bed. Chakotay was overcome with emotion. He had waited years to hear her cry out his name in passion and final it was real. Tears rolled down his face.

Kathryn noticed and was alarmed. She gave him a bewildered look. He pulled her close and kissed her head. "It is just joy my love, years of bent up joy." She understood. She also wanted him to feel what she had so she reached down and slide her fingers down the hip of his pajama. With his help he was soon naked. It was her turn to look. He was not embarrassed at all but then again he had nothing to be embarrassed about. He was amazing. The statue of David was the only comparison that would come to mind. Her trembling hands reached out and touched his manhood. His gasped loudly. A little more boldly Kathryn explored him. It wasn't long before he grabbed her hand and made her stop. He rolled her over and once again knelt between her knees. Afraid that she had lost some her arousal he began to work his magic once again. This time he used his mouth. Before she could protest he began licking and sucking. Within a few minutes she was screaming his name. Once she calmed a little he positioned himself just above her. He slowly slide in just barely entering. They locked eyes as they made their union complete. Inch by inch he moved. It took every ounce of control that the spirits would give him to go this carefully. When he reached what felt like a barrier he stopped. He stayed perfectly still relishing the joining. Once her body adjusted to his size and the act itself Kathryn moved her hips up slightly. As she moved, more and more of him disappeared. After a few more moves the joining was complete. When she was ready Kathryn wiggled to let Chakotay know that it was okay. He started to slide in and out at a slow pace. He maintained his motions until Kathryn raised her hips to meet him and quickened the pace. After a few second he found himself forgetting his control and he began to thrust in and out filled with the desire to leave a part of himself with her. Like an animal in the wild her was claiming what was his. He vaguely remembered hearing his name but it was drowned out with the sound offKathryn coming from his lips.

They both collapsed exhausted in the aftermath of their love making. Several minutes later Chakotay got up. Kathryn grabbed him. "Where are you going?'

"To the bathroom." He leaned down and kissed her nose. She didn't need to worry he was never leaving again.

Kathryn stood up and pulled the covers down on her bed. Even though she was a mature woman there was something wicked about him sleeping in the same bed that she slept in as a girl. Before she settled under the covers she wanted to go to the bathroom also. She felt like she needed to wash up a little. She knew that she would be sore tomorrow. 

Chakotay returned and Kathryn started to get up. He motioned her to lay back down. He brought a wash cloth, towel and some warm water. He then proceeded to clean her up himself. He too knew she would be sore tomorrow and wanted to do everything in his power to make her comfortable.

Kathryn ran her hand through his hair and she cried. The tenderness of this man was incredible. She once again thought that she did not deserve him but she thanked her lucky stars that she finally had him.

After returning everything to the bathroom Chakotay climbed in bed. "You know I always fantasized about making love to you in your bed. I just never thought it would be this one." They both found a comfortable position in each others arms and settled. Just before drifting off to sleep Chakotay revealed his deepest desire. "Kathryn?"

She answered sleepily in the voice you still have just before you sleep. "Yes."

"I want to sleep like this every night for the rest of my life."

He was behind her with his back against hers and his arm across her stomach. She snuggled closer to him and pulled his arm tighter. "Me too."

"Kathryn?"

"Yes."

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes."

Chakotay hoped that she had really heard the question and was not just answering yes over and over. Well he would know tomorrow when they woke. 


	10. The Wedding Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Her first thought when she woke up in the middle of the night was that she was tangled in the covers. Her second thought was 'Please God don't let it be another dream.' With trepidation she ran her hand across what felt like an arm that lay across her stomach. She was afraid to open her eyes. She was convinced that when she did, this glorious weight would be gone. Before she could gather the courage to look she felt a hand brush across her cheek. She opened her eyes cautiously, then she saw him. The moon shining through the window that was just behind her bed. The light danced across his face and her heart quickened. He was really here. Finally, he was really here with her.

She was still sleeping when he woke in the middle of the night. The feel of her next to him woke him. She was smiling. She was sound asleep but she was still smiling. 'That's a good sign' he thought. Rolling onto his side he faced her as she slept soundly on her back. He carefully placed his arm across her stomach. After being without her for so long he needed to feel their connection now. He intended to go back to sleep but then she began to stir. He lifted his arm and brushed the back of his hand down her face. She was so beautiful. They had been through so much together. Years of fighting the enemy and years of fighting their own desires. Finally he was here, with her.

Chakotay spoke first. "Hi."

"Hi, yourself. What time is it?"

"It's early, not even five yet. Go back to sleep."

She pulled his arm under her and motioned for him to turn onto his back. She settled her tiny body against his side as her head rested on his shoulder. He held her close warming her naked body with his. He was ready again but tried to hide it. It didn't work, she noticed. She moved her hand from its resting place on his chest. She began a teasingly slow descent. His skin was soft and smooth. She could feel the tautness of his muscles. She could tell his body had changed since they left the ship. She was enjoying this new found freedom immensely. She wanted to please him in the same ways that he had pleased her. Her hand reached a patch of soft hair. She ran her fingers through it never quite touching his skin but still feeling his heat. Continuing down she found what she was searching for. It was hard yet his skin was soft. Feeling him she wondered how they were able to fit together; but they had, and it was perfect. Her hands began to slowing move up and down. With each movement she could hear his intake of breath. She raised her head to watch his face. It was a beautiful sight. His eyes were closed and his mouth was partially opened. The sounds he was making were low in his throat. She quickened her stroke and his hip rocked to match her pace. Turning her eyes toward his chest she leaned down and kissed him. Her hand stilled as her tongue trailed a line down the center of his chest. She reached his belly button making tiny circles inside. She continued downward until she could take him completely into her mouth. She heard him cry out as her saliva mixed with his early fluids. Her mouth replicated the motions previously performed by her hand. 

He was near the point of no return. Holding back had become impossible. He grabbed her head and tried to get her to stop. The feel of his hands in her hair only inspired her to do more. He knew that he wouldn't be help to control himself much longer but he was afraid to let go, afraid of what she would do but she left him no choice. Holding onto her shoulders he let himself go. His release was powerful despite the fact that it was the second of the night. He began to breath again as she slide back up and laid her head on his shoulder once again. He wanted to say something but he didn't know what to say. How could you explain to someone how you feel about an experience that was beyond words.

She didn't give him a chance. In a voice that was almost timid she asked, "Did you like that?"

He almost made a joke but the tone in her voice made him realize that she was serious and that she really didn't know. But before he could answer she went on.

"I was never really very good at …that." She tried to roll away from him just a little but he would have none of it. He rolled to his side. With his arm still under her they were now face to face.

"That was one of the most sensual experiences I have ever had." As if to prove his words her kissed her deeply relishing the taste of himself in her mouth.

When he finished he saw her lower her eyes. He thought she was just embarrassed but then she continued. "Mark never wanted to do anything like that. He said it didn't feel very good probably because I wasn't doing it right."

"I thought we established long ago that Mark was an ass! I knew he was a jerk when he wrote you that dear John letter." She was smiling now. "Maybe I should thank him for being so stupid. If he didn't dump you I wouldn't be in your bed right now, or tomorrow, or the next day or the next."

"It didn't look like you were thanking him on the porch."

"No, I wasn't"

They laid in silence for awhile both completely content in the other's arms. Finally nature took over and they both had to use the bathroom. After freshening up a little and putting on some robes they headed down to the kitchen for a snack. They settled on tea and returned to the stillness of the living room and sat on the couch.

"Kathryn, do you remember what we talked about just before you fell asleep?" She was sitting at one end of the couch with her back resting on the arm. Her legs were stretched out and her feet were in his lap. He was gently massaging her feet. "Yes, I do but…"

He stopped moving. It was as if the world had stopped. Why was she saying but? He thought every wall of defense had been broken, ever barrier crossed why but?"

"But, what?" he demanded.

She giggled. "But I would like to hear it again."

He dropped off the couch and got onto one knee. In the style of an old earth custom he proposed on bended knee.

"Kathryn, you saved my soul when I was lost. You brought me peace when I was angry. You gave me fire when I was dead inside. And just when I thought I would never be blessed again you gave me the greatest blessing of all, yourself. I cannot imagine another day without you- sleep with me at night, wake with me in the morning, swell with my child, grow old with me- make my life complete, be my wife."

Tears were streaming down her face. She cupped his face in her hands. "Chakotay I am not as eloquent as you." She paused to gather her thoughts. "From the moment I saw you, you touched my soul. You make me more than I ever thought that I could be. When I am with you I am a better person. You know me for who I really am, and you love me anyway. You are more than I ever expected in my life. The spirits have blessed me in a way that exceeds words. I too could never imagine another day without you by my side," she smiled shyly, "or in my bed. You are my life. You are my one true love, _Imzadi._" She took his hands and looked deeply into his eyes. "Stand beside for the rest of this journey we call life-join with me-father my children-make my life complete-be my husband." Both tear stained faces met for a kiss. The emotion was crackling in the air. Words that had long been concealed had come into the light. Deepest desires of the heart had been told. One promise had been made and one promise had been kept.

Scooping her into his arms he headed for the stairs. "Let's start the honeymoon a little early!" 

****


	11. The Wedding Chapter11

****

Chapter 11

Kathryn woke up to an empty bed. For just a second she panicked. Then she remembered it was not a dream, it was real. They had declared their intentions last night. He was still here, somewhere. She got up and drew her robe around her tightly. Her muscles ached and she needed a shower and her toothbrush but she needed to find Chakotay first. When she walked into the hall. She heard noises coming from downstairs. She followed the humming sound to the kitchen. Before entering she stood in the doorway and just watched. He was standing over the old fashioned stove humming as he cooked breakfast. Without warning his eyes went to her. He had felt her there watching him. He smiled broadly. "Good morning sleepy head."

"Good morning."

"Breakfast will be ready in about ten minutes. Coffee before or after the shower?"

"After." She was satisfied. With that she returned upstairs to get clean. 

Kathryn decided on some very loose simple clothes, a pair of brown slacks and a yellow button down shirt. She brushed her hair and began to pull it up in a clip then she decided against it. She left her hair down and headed to the kitchen for breakfast.

They both ate quickly. They were starving. When the meal was almost over Chakotay asked when her mother would be returning.

"She said they would be here around four. They have to wait for Phoebe's husband to come home from work."

"What are we going to do today?" He asked her this with a sly grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye.

Kathryn missed it because she was looking down at her coffee. "My mother asked me to clean out some boxes in my father's study. I thought I would have two more months to do it but it seems now I don't" She looked up at him but by now his expression had changed to one of concern. "Would you mind helping me with it? I think it might be …" She stopped in mid sentence. Thoughts of her father rushed back along with all the emotional baggage that came with him.

Chakotay reached over and grabbed her hand. "I understand. Of course I will help you."

They sat for awhile longer drinking coffee and talking about nothing in particular. It was already one in the afternoon by the time they cleaned up and headed to the study.

Kathryn pointed to four boxes stacked on a shelf. Chakotay took each one down and placed it on the floor. Kathryn opened one and found what looked like old Starfleet documents. She passed the box to Chakotay. "Why don't you go through these. They seem to be old papers from Starfleet that my father saved."

"What do you want me look for?"

"Make two piles. One of stuff that is just routine and can be discarded and one with anything you think my mother or I should check."

He attacked that box while she began to go through another. Chakotay didn't find anything very interesting in the papers. They were all just old communication between Starfleet and Edward Janeway. As far as he could tell they were all routine. By the time he finished the one box Kathryn had cleaned out two. "I haven't found anything that seems important. You might want to destroy them just in case but I doubt there is anything of significance in there."

"I found a few interesting things." She held up a very old drawing. "I made this for him when I was five. It was supposed to be a picture of a ship. I told him that I would be the science officer on the ship. He asked me if he could take it to Starfleet so they could use it as a model for future designs. He said he wanted to make sure the ship was ready when I was ready." She held the picture to her chest and smiled. "I remember giggling and telling him that he was silly because Starfleet would never use the drawings of a five year-old. He smiled and took me into his lap and hugged me fiercely then he said, 'it's not just any five year-old, it's you Kathryn Janeway the future's greatest scientist!' I can't believe he saved it all those years."

Chakotay joined her by the desk. He put his hand on her shoulder. "I am sorry I did not know him."

She shook her head a little and pulled in a sniffle. "Me too." She placed the picture in the keep pile. Chakotay suggested a drink so he went to the kitchen to get them something while Kathryn dove into the final box.

He decided on a small snack. He placed two glasses of iced tea and some cheese and grapes on a tray and returned to the study. When he got there she was curled up in her father's over sized desk chair with tears streaming down her face.

He put the tray down and went to her. He got down on his knees and turned the rolling chair to face him. "What is it?"

She reached her one hand up and wiped away a few tears. "It's a letter from my father." She handed it to him. It was a legal size white envelope. It was slightly yellow with age but it was still sealed. On the front it said "My dearest Katie."

In a soft voice she asked, "Will you read it to me I don't think I can?" She showed no signs of moving so he settled into a sitting position on the floor. Kathryn pulled her legs up onto the chair and wrapped her arms tightly around them.

Chakotay looked up and queried, "Are you sure?"

She shook her head yes so he opened the seal.

My Dearest Katie,

If you are reading this it can only mean one of two things, either I am dead or it is two weeks before your wedding. I wrote this letter a week before you, Justin, and myself were scheduled for our test flight. I have a bad feeling about this one Katie. I don't know what it is but something is wrong. Maybe it is just all the time I have spent with the Cardassians that has me spooked but I have a bad feeling in my bones. Maybe that is why I am writing this letter. I may not be able to tell you some of the things I would like to in person so I am putting them down on paper. I know once you are married your life will change so much but you will always be my little bird.

First of all I love you Katie. Until you have children of your own you will not understand the depths of this confession. You and Phoebe are my heart and soul. In Phoebe I see your mother and all the passion and spirit that first attracted me to her. In you I see myself. God help you I see that same stubborn resolve and that belief that you can make the world a better place. Unfortunately those ideals often took me away from the family I loved so much. I know I let you down. Once these problems began with the Cardassians I became a phantom father. I was not there when you needed me. I missed the feel of you sitting by me desk as I worked. I took a strange comfort in knowing you were close by. It often made me work harder to get finished so we could go out exploring. You were always the scientist Katie, asking why about everything but the difference between you and other children is that you wanted a real answer! I want you to know that being away from you girls and your mother is the hardest thing I ever do in my life. Maybe some day when you are older and are sent away on a mission you will understand. Sometimes you have to put aside your own desires for the good of others. I don't like doing it but I think I can make a difference in this affair with the Cradassians. They scare me Katie. They are evil! I am not sure we could win a war against them so I continue to fight through diplomatic channels.

I hope you already know this but I am so very proud of you. You are a fine Starfleet officer. When you graduated from the academy I felt a thrill that I had not felt since the day each of my children were born. All my friends in Starfleet assured me that you will be one of the finest science officers ever. One who wanted a few favors went so far as liken your intelligence to that of Ambassador Spock. I almost laughed as I am sure you would have if you had heard him. You are brilliant and I know you love science but I want to make a different suggestion to you, command school. I know you are surprised but Katie you are a born leader. Think of the difference that you can make sitting in the big chair. I won't push, but please think about it.

Forgive and indulge your father a little but I want to talk to about love. Maybe Justin is the one Katie but I have my doubts. Sure he is a fine man but you two are so much alike. You are both so serious and so driven. Neither of you know how to lighten up or laugh even a little. I am not sure that he is the man for you. I know you were attracted by his intellect but Katie there is so much more in life. You don't want someone who is a carbon copy of yourself; you want to find someone who completes you. Someone who makes you a better person. Look at your mother and me. Could you find two people more different? She has the gentle soul of an artist. Can't you remember all the times you and I were engaged in some heated discussion and she would whisk us away somewhere just for the fun of it. Your mother brought joy to me. Without her I would have become an extremely serious and very full of myself Starfleet officer. Yet she understood the rigors of my job since her father was an admiral. Katie I just want you to have what I have, a soul mate. I am sorry if I am making you mad but I just don't think Justin is it. You are young yet Katie, wait, explore the galaxy. Find a man who is tough enough to deal with your stubbornness but soft enough to soothe your soul. He's out there Katie waiting for you to find him. If you think it is Justin so be it I will never mention it again. I only want what's best for my little girl.

All my love,

Dad

Chakotay looked up to find her crying. He pulled her off of the chair and into his lap. He rocked her gently as the tears continued to flow. When they began to subside Kathryn gazed up at him and saw tears brimming in his eyes. Without words she leaned up higher and kissed him. She needed him now. She needed to feel alive and loved. Her father had been so right all those years ago. They kissed tenderly at first. Each kiss fueled their passion until he suggested that they head upstairs. She forcefully said no and pushed him down on the floor of the study. She took the lead and completely ravished him until they were exhausted. They lay together on the rug in front of her father's desk. "I can't believe that my father was so right all those year's ago. So much of what he said was true. I do understand now why he had to leave so many times and he was right about Justin."

"He was right about something else. I was out there waiting for you to find me."

"It took me an awful long time but I finally did truly find you. Didn't I?"

After the last night he wondered how she could still be unsure. "Yes, you did and I am here to stay!" The old fashioned clock chimed three times. Chakotay jumped. "Kathryn it is three o'clock! Your mother is going to be here soon. I promised to make dinner and we need to go to the market. Let's go!" He pulled her up with one arm. They both rearranged their clothes and left the study.

Chakotay was tossing salad as Gretchen walked into the kitchen. "Working all alone?"

He smiled "Yes, Kathryn is taking a nap."

Gretchen eyed him carefully. "That's not like her. She must be overly tired."

Chakotay wasn't biting. "Where is Phoebe? I am anxious to meet her."

"She took her family to visit Mark." She noticed how Chakotay stiffened when she mentioned his name. "Mark gave Phoebe's children a puppy. The puppies are descendants of Molly, Kathryn's dog. Anyway the children wanted to go see their dog's mother. They should be home in time for dinner." Gretchen began to pull the table apart so she could add a new leaf. Everyone including the children would eat at the table. Once she was done she covered it with a lace tablecloth and began to place the dishes around it. "My grandmother made this table cloth for me when I married Edward." She turned to look at Chakotay who was now working at the stove. He paused and turned around knowing that she was telling him something important. "The only time we use it is for special occasions. I think tonight is a special occasion."

"I don't know what you mean." He was not ready to tell her anything. He felt that that was Kathryn's place.

"No you wouldn't know what I mean. Chakotay, she was lost. Until she decided to ask you to come to the wedding she was lost. She had no purpose, no drive. Can you imagine Katie with no drive? It scared us all. We spent months talking about everything that happened in the Delta Quadrant. I knew she held back some of the more gruesome details but I also knew she held something else back and that was the key to her well being. Finally the night before you arrived she broke down and told me about you and her. I must say the story was a little sad and to be honest very typical of Katie." The stove started to bubble. They both set about stirring and shaking the pots that were cooking on the stove. When the meal seemed to settle down she continued. In a gesture that was exactly like Kathryn's Gretchen placed her hand on Chakotay's arm. "I don't know where this will led but you brought her back to us. For that I will always be grateful." Then she surprised him and hugged him fiercely. She quietly backed away and continued her work. She set about getting things for the table while he cooked. While she placed a vase filled with fresh cut flowers in the center of the table she spoke again. "I had an interesting conversation this afternoon, with Mark. He said that he stopped by yesterday to see Katie."

"That's right."

"He also said that he met a man who claimed that he was going to marry her and hepractically threaten him."

Chakotay smiled. "I didn't think he was smart enough to realize that I was a threat to him."

"His impression of you was interesting to say the least." Gretchen pretending to think before she continued. "I believe the word he used was Neanderthal!"

"Coming from him I will take that as a compliment!" Chakotay turned and set the salad on the table. He walked to the refrigerator and took out the wine that he had chilled.

Gretchen was smiling. "Don't you want to know why Mark called me?"

"I really don't care what Mark had to say. He was jerk years ago when he dumped her and he is a jerk today. End of story."

Gretchen continued anyway. "He begged me to save Katie from you! He wanted me to talk her out of marrying you because you were not her type. He felt it was his duty as her friend to let me know about the colossal mistake that she was making."

His anger took on a life of his own. He needed several calming breaths and was close to invoking the spirits to keep him under control. He did not want to explode at Gretchen but he did want to pulverize Mark! "And," he said though clenched teeth.

Gretchen couldn't help but laugh just as she had done when she spoke with Mark. "Oh, Chakotay, God help me I laughed at him." The tension escaped from his body at the sound of her words. "He has no idea what Katie needs, never did. He was always such a stuffed shirt. Katie was boring when she was with him! Probably the only good thing that happened as a result of her being stuck out there was that she never married him!" She looked over and caught his eye. "Well, maybe not the only good thing," she added with a wink. She turned and continued to fiddle with the napkin rings. "He was never the man for her. He was a reaction to a terrible situation. Mark was safe. You on the other hand are very dangerous." He cocked his head around. His face wore an expression of denial. "You are everything she has avoided all her life, passion. But if I may be so bold, you **are** the man for her. But I think you already know that."

"Pleading my case for me mother?" Kathryn asked as she walked into the room. She went directly to Chakotay and kissed him. There was a silent communication and a nod of the head. "Mom we have already decided to get married. We don't know when or where, but mom this," she took his hand in hers, "is forever."

Gretchen reached out and hugged her daughter. "Oh, Katie girl I am so happy for you." She knew she was crying and didn't care!

Kathryn returned her embraced and whispered in her mother's ear. "I am done running mom!" With that the kitchen erupted with noise as Phoebe and her crew flew in.

Phoebe walked straight to Chakotay. "Well you must be the illusive first officer."

He reached his hand out to shake her extended hand. "Well you didn't lie Kath, he is gorgeous."

Phoebe's husband winced a little. Gretchen chastised her youngest daughter. "Phoebe! Is nothing sacred?"

Kathryn hugged her sister and her two nieces joined in. "Ma, she is forever Phoebe. Chakotay might as well get used to it now." 

Introductions were made and everyone sat down and ate. Dinner was filled with lively conversation of events from the Delta Quadrant and events that they had missed on earth. As they all got up and began to clear the table Phoebe began again. "Kath, I'd say this one is a keeper. Anyone who can cook like this is the perfect man for you!"

Kathryn replied "I'll have you know I helped!"

Now it was Chakotay's turn. "Honey, ripping up the lettuce doesn't really count as help."

She reached for the dish rag and started to throw it at him. Instead of hitting him he caught it and her wrist in one motion and swung his head down and kissed her. It was Phoebe's oldest daughter who broke the mood. "Mommy look Aunt Kathryn is kissing that man." They all laughed including Kathryn and Chakotay.

"Okay everyone but Janeway females go into the living room and wait for desert." Phoebe, Kathryn and Gretchen continued cleaning up. They were interrupted by a little girl with a confused look on her face. "Grandma am I a Janeway female?" Gretchen scooped her up into her arms. "Sweetkins a part of your heart will always be Janeway but for now you go with your father." The little girl kissed her grand mother's cheek. "I love you grandma." "And I love you sweetkins, now run along."

Kathryn had tears in her eyes. "Phoebe they are so wonderful."

"Yeah I know. I am lucky. But your time will come."

"Phoebe I'm almost 50!" Kathryn shook her head . "I don't know." 

The dishes were almost cleared. They woman began to get out the plates and forks for the cake that Phoebe had brought. She held it up for inspection. "Chocolate Kath, all chocolate!" The sisters went to carry the food into the living room. The scene they found could have come from a story book. Chakotay was rolling on the floor with the two girls climbing all over him. They were all giggling as they tried to grab his hands and tickle his stomach at the same time.

Phoebe leaned over to her sister. "Yeah Kath, he's a keeper!"

After desert and a few stories everyone decided that it was bedtime. "Girls do you want to sleep in the big bed with grandma?" The girls squealed and jumped up and down shouting yes. The three of them headed up to bed.

Chakotay spoke up. "If you give me a few minutes I'll take my things out of your room Phoebe." 

Her husband John, who was standing behind her, smiled and slipped his arms around his wife's waist. "I always wanted to sleep with you in that bed." 

Phoebe blushed as she addressed Chakotay. "But where will you sleep?"

Kathryn answered for him. "In my room." The living room got very quiet. Everyone understood the significance of her words. She had just made a very public declaration of their love. Even the unflappable Phoebe was flustered.

"Well, good night then." Her sister said.

John asked, "What time are you leaving for the wedding?"

Kathryn answered, glad for the change in subject. "Around noon. We want to get there in time to settle in and do some site seeing. I think we are going to have dinner with Will and his fiancée and Captain and Mrs. Picard." 

"Boy sis you do travel in lofty circles." They hugged and said good night.

When she was almost out of sight Phoebe turned. "Hey Kath Imagine Dad's reaction if he were here. His two baby girls having a man in their rooms."

Phoebe disappeared and didn't hear her sister whisper, "he might not be as surprised as you think." 

Chakotay turned off the lights and followed Kathryn up to bed. A feeling of warmth filled his body as he realized that he would soon be part of this wonderful family. 

**** ****


	12. The Wedding Chapter 12

Chapter 12

They were ready to leave. Phoebe had already said good-bye. She left earlier in the morning to go back home. Now it was just Kathryn, Chakotay and her mother. Her mother was holding her tightly and trying desperately not to cry. Kathryn was attempting to soothe her. "Mom, it is a humanitarian mission. I will be fine."

Gretchen lifted up her apron to wipe her eyes. "I know. It's just that I thought we had more time. I enjoyed having you here, you know, talking." 

Her mother was flustered. Kathryn knew it. She stepped back but still held on to her hand. "We have to go."

Gretchen reluctantly let go. "I know." Chakotay leaned over and hugged the woman. "You take care of my baby girl. You hear me?"

He kissed her cheek. "I will, with my life if necessary."

As they walked away Gretchen called after them. "Forget this with my life stuff. Both of you come back to me and if you could arrange it, I wouldn't mind a grandchild either!"

Kathryn turned and gaped at her mother. She just smiled at her daughter and turned to go into the house.

They headed to the transport in silence walking arm and arm. "The last time my mother said good-bye, I didn't return for seven years."

He pulled her closer. "I know Kathryn. You came home that time and you'll come home this time, maybe with a little gift for her." He reached over and touched her stomach.

"You are incorrigible!"

The minute they arrived on Betazed she felt the change in him. He stepped off the transport and looked around. The city itself didn't look much different from many others they had visted. It wasn't what he saw but rather what he felt.

He had begun to walk away alone. Kathryn caught up to him in a few steps. He seemed to be caught in a trance. She grabbed his arm and turned him around. "Chakotay what is it? What is wrong?"

His eyes were still scanning everything. "Nothing is wrong. In fact every thing feels right." He took her hand and they continued walking. "It is hard to describe but the minute we arrived I felt something. It was like a calming wind blew through my soul. There is just an aura of serenity permeating the air." He knew he wasn't making sense. It was difficult to put feelings this intense into words.

Kathryn reached her other hand over and patted his arm. "I understand." Then she chuckled just a little. 

"What's so funny?" They were at a place in their relationship where he did not take offense at her laughter.

"What you don't understand is that that is exactly how you make me feel." She motioned with her hand for them to stop and sit on a bench that they were approaching. They seemed to be walking through what looked like some sort of school complex. Once they sat she turned to face him. "There were many times when your mere presence was the one thing that kept me calm. When I was facing down someone on the view screen and you would come and stand just behind me I would feel a sense of peace wash over me. It was like your presence cleared up the clutter in my mind." Now it was his turn to laugh. She continued. "I don't feel anything different here on the planet than I did on Voyager or in Indiana. What I feel is you."

He took her in his arms and held her close to him. Without any forethought she uttered the words that were in her heart, "I love you."

He pulled back and kissed her. They sat entwined together as passersby looked on. When the kiss finally broke, they both were grinning. 

"We better get out of here Kathryn, before we embarrass ourselves."

"You're right. We look like students!" They got up and continued in the direction that Will had given her.

Not ten minutes later they arrived at the address that she had been sent. It reminded Kathryn of an English Manor House. When the door opened they both craned their necks to view the man standing before them. He was enormous! He did not speak but simply looked at them expectantly. Finally Kathryn spoke up. "I am Captain Janeway and this is Commander Chakotay. We were given this address by Commander Riker. We are here for his wedding."

The tall gentleman smiled slightly while he stepped back from the door and motioned for them to enter. They walked into a round foyer that had rooms located off it in all directions. There was a large chandelier above the center of the room and a long staircase against the far wall. At the top of the stairs a balconied hallway stretched across the entire length of the west end of the house. They both remained in stunned silence admiring the home. 

A female voice caught their attention. "Who is it Mr. Homm?" In walked a tall woman with black hair. She wore a green floor length dress that could only be described as sparkling. Chakotay noticed that she had an air of superiority about her. She was a woman of strength and position.

She attempted to speak to them empathically even though she knew it was useless. Their Starfleet uniforms gave that away. "I am Lwaxana Troi and **who** might you be?" Her voice was dripping with what appeared to be condensation.

Kathryn repeated what she had told Mr. Homm on the doorstep. The woman checked her guest list. She eyed Janeway pointedly. "**You** are one of the guests, from the grooms side." The disgust was evident in her voice. She nodded her head toward Chakotay. "No one told me you would be bringing a guest. Then again that is just like my daughter. She volunteered to house people in our home without consulting me and she is not here handling the details." As she ranted Lwaxana walked into what was perceived to be the living room. Not knowing what to do the pair stood where they were. "For goodness sakes come in." She called to them. "I am not going to throw you out just because my own daughter has chosen to be inconsiderate. She invites people we don't even know into my home and then she leaves **me** here to take care of everything. It is all very vexing." With the last statement she sat on the chair in what could be construed as a swoon.

Chakotay could feel Kathryn getting nervous. Before she could say anything inappropriate Chakotay spoke up. "Oh, Mrs. Troi," he walked over and sat on the couch just beside her chair, "We never meant to inconvenience you!" He picked up her hand and brought it to his lips for a soft kiss of greeting. He now had her undivided attention. "I am sure a woman as capable as you can find a solution." He eyed her expectantly. "Of course we would be more than happy to share the room you set aside for the Captain **if** it will ease your burden."

"You are a charmer my dear boy." She pats his cheek. "I believe I will thoroughly enjoy seeing you at the wedding." She eyed him hungrily and laughed. "Mr. Homm, show them to **their** room." She threw a wicked smile in Chakotay's direction. 

Kathryn didn't know whether to laugh or be angry at the display she had just witnessed. As they walked up the stairs she said, "You sure handled that situation well! Your own unique brand of first contact."

"She was very easy to read. I knew what she wanted from the moment I met her. She likes to be flattered and she enjoys flirting."

"You are very good at flirting."

"You above all people should know that!" He leaned toward her and whispered in her ear. "If I didn't know better I would think the great Captain Janeway was jealous." He said that teasingly as they stopped at the top of the stairs. Mr. Homm pointed to a room at the far end of the hall. "Thank you. We'll manage." The quiet giant left them alone. Chakotay glanced in her direction and saw a strange look on her face. He turned to her and put both of his hands on her arms holding her facing him. "What is the matter Kathryn?"

At first she shook her head as if to say nothing but then she decided to be totally honest. "I don't like seeing you flirt with another woman and it makes me feel like an insecure stupid child to feel that way." 

He surprised her by hugging her close and laughing. "I think it is adorable that you are feeling that way but you don't have to be jealous. The only woman I have eyes for is **you!** Come on, let's find our room and I'll have more than just eyes for you." 

As they approached the end of the hall and the room that Mr. Homm had directed them to a man came out of the adjacent room. He seemed to be in a rush. No not a rush Kathryn thought, but a purpose. He walked with a quiet determination, like he was the master of his domain. He finally looked up just as he was about to bump into them.

"Captain Janeway, hello."

She knew she was easily recognizable since Voyager's return from the Delta Quadrant had been such big news. On top of that she was in uniform. That's when it clicked, the uniform. She did not recognize him because he was out of uniform. "Captain Picard how wonderful to see you." Chakotay was stunned. The man had looked familiar but he did not recognize him. The legendary captain seemed different in real life.

She turned and motioned toward Chakotay. "This is my first officer, Commander Chakotay." Both Kathryn and Chakotay were nervous. Even though he had been cleared by Starfleet, the inquiry had made Chakotay's past well known. They were never quite sure how someone deeply entrenched in Starfleet tradition would view him.

Picard immediately put out his hand. "Of course I would know this man anywhere. That was an amazing discovery your team made in Arizona. I would love to hear all about it. In fact I was just leaving to do some exploring in the Jalara Jungle. Care to join me?" 

Chakotay looked at Kathryn. She could see the excitement in his eyes. She smiled warmly. Her eyes told him all he needed to know. "Give me five minutes to change and I'll meet you downstairs."

Picard looked cautiously down the hall. "I'll wait right here if you don't mind."

Chakotay understood immediately. "I see you met her too."

"Oh, we have a long standing acquaintance."

Both Kathryn and Chakotay eyed him curiously. Then Chakotay spoke. "Well, I will be interested in hearing that tale."

The couple entered their room. "What will you do while I am gone?"

Kathryn watched him as he changed. She was a little sorry he was leaving. He caught her eye and immediately knew what she was thinking. Dressed only in his shorts he pushed her back on the bed where she was sitting. He covered her body with his and kissed her deeply. When he broke away he looked into her eyes and saw that they were glazed over with passion. "We will finish this later I promise!" He got up from the bed and finished dressing. Kathryn closed her eyes and thought about taking a nap.

"Will you be here when I get back?"

She rolled up on one elbow. "I don't know. I was thinking that I would take a nap and then maybe go to the museum. I hear it has a wonderful collection of modern art. If I am not here I'll leave you a note and we can meet somewhere for dinner. I want some plans firmly in place in case we are invited to dine here. I don't think I am up to having dinner with the mother of the bride!"

"I know what you mean!" He walked to the bed and kissed her on the head. He started to go to the door and then he turned around. She was almost asleep already. He felt a little guilty that she hadn't gotten much sleep the past two nights. "Hey." She looked up. "I love you." Kathryn smiled a dreamy smile and put her head back down on the pillow before saying, "I know," as she closed her eyes once again. Chakotay left to explore the jungle with Captain Picard while Kathryn slept the deep sleep of the contented.

Kathryn found herself walking aimlessly around the museum. It occurred to her that she had not done anything aimlessly in a very long time. It was an interesting revelation. As she wandered among the exhibits she thought back on her life and realized how almost every action she had taken was directed at achieving a goal. First getting into the academy. Then being the best science officer she could become. Then serving Starfleet as a captain. She realized now that along the way she had lost a big part of herself. Maybe it wasn't really lost but hidden. The part of her that came from her mother, the passion, the joy, the fun. It had been a long time since she had just had fun. Even when she was on Voyager playing pool, or flirting with Chakotay there was always a reservation. She was always holding back for fear. Fear of what? Disappointing Starfleet? Disappointing her father? Ironically it was Starfleet that disappointed her where Chakotay and the Maquis were concerned. While her father surprised her with his letter where he urged her to find real love. He would be happy if he were here. Chakotay would not be in awe of him like Justin was. No, Chakotay would stand toe to toe with him. What wonderful arguments those two would have had she thought. Kathryn was smiling as she meandered into a room filled with paintings. One caught her eye. She sat down on the bench and allowed herself to be drawn into the work of art. It was a picture of nothing as far as she could tell but it evoked strong emotion. It was vibrant, almost alive. Something about it captured her.

"It's amazing isn't it?"

Kathryn turned around to see a petite dark haired woman standing behind the bench admiring the same painting. "Yes, it is."

The woman approached and sat down. "I have stared at this painting for countless hours through the course of my life and it never ceases speaking to my soul." Both women sat in silence letting the emotion of the art seep into their souls. Finally the woman turned to Kathryn and spoke. "I am sorry for being rude. I am Deanna Troi."

Kathryn's face softened as she heard the name. This was Will's finance. "I am.."

"I know Captain Janeway. You are quite recognizable." Sensing her discomfort Deanna apologized. "I am sorry for intruding. I did not mean to intrude Captain." Deanna had stood up and was backing away from the bench.

Kathryn also stood and reached out to touch Deanna's arm. "You did not intrude. I gather since you are from here you are empathic." A shake of Deanna's head was the reply Kathryn expected. "I was not uncomfortable because of you. I have not adjusted to the fact that I am so easily recognized."

"Oh, I understand. You made quite an impression on Will when he first met you. Not many women have your spunk."

"Is it spunk or stupidity?"

Deanna laughed. "I would like to get to know you. Would you like to go to the café and have some hot chocolate?"

"If they have coffee I would love too. Lead the way."

"Maybe we can have two cups. I am not in a hurry to get home."

Kathryn laughed. Deanna looked at her. "I see you've met my mother." She sounded exasperated.

"She is an _interesting_ woman."

Now Deanna was laughing. "I can tell Captain that you are a true diplomat!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captain Picard and Chakotay had been exploring the jungle for about two hours when they decided to rest by a stream. They had talked about everything from the discoveries that Chakotay's group had made in Arizona to Captain Picard's assimilation by the Borg. Both men drank deeply from the canteen that Picard had brought. Then they sat back on the rock formation to relax for awhile before beginning the long journey back.

Captain Picard picked up a rock and skipped it across the water. "You are one hell of an explorer."

"Coming from you I take that as quite a compliment."

Picard joined him on the rock. "It was meant to be. How have things been for you since you returned?"

Chakotay eyed him curiously. "Why do you ask?"

Picard usually was not this forward with people. Being a private man himself he tended to keep a comfortable distance from people. But he felt something of a kinship with this man, a love of the land and the knowledge it held. "When Captain Janeway first introduced you, you seemed tense, like you were unsure how I would respond."

Chakotay shrugged a little. "I **have** had to defend myself a few times. There are many people in Starfleet who were not happy with the outcome of the inquiry."

"There are many people in Starfleet who don't know their arse from their elbow!"

Chakotay was surprised. He expected this man, the great captain of the flagship of the federation to be stogy. He laughed. "I never thought I'd hear someone like you say that."

"Many of those people who are making decisions for you and me have not left their desk in years! They don't know what it is like to make split second life and death decisions. Then they want to _discuss _the decisions you made and pass judgment on them."

"That's exactly how I feel!" Chakotay rose up a little as he spoke. "Don't get me wrong I am grateful for the full pardon and the commission but I was very angry that they questioned Captain Janeway's decisions. Take the pressure you feel on an away mission and multiply that by 70,000 light years and that is what we felt like out there alone. Yet she demanded we uphold the Starfleet protocols and ideals and she almost gets court martialed for it. It was almost enough to make me quit Starfleet again!" Just talking about it was making Chakotay mad again.

"There was a lot going on behind closed doors. The desk jockeys couldn't understand the things she did. Thank God there were some admirals involved that actually had some away mission experience. I often thought what would ever happen if James Kirk had come before an admiral review. Do you think he would have passed?" Picard began to prepare himself for the journey back.

Chakotay stood up and did the same. "I don't know. He was a _colorful_ man."

"To say the least!" The conversation continued as they walked back through the jungle. "Are you planning on making a career in Starfleet?"

Chakotay blushed a little. "It depends."

Picard smiled knowingly, "A woman."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Maybe not to everyone, but after spending years with Troi and Riker, let's just say I have become a little more attuned than I used to be."

"I guess my future in Starfleet may depend on how they respond to our being together."

"It would be very difficult for them to censure their current golden girl. She made quite a name for herself bringing her crew back from what everyone considered certain death. I'd say it was one of the most remarkable feats that anyone has ever accomplished."

Chakotay smiled to himself and echoed part of Captain Picard's remarks. "Yes, she is remarkable."

The men both laughed. Picard slapped Chakotay on the back. "Let's get you back to that remarkable woman and me back to my pregnant wife!" 

The two men who had so little in common and yet so much walked toward the outer edge of the Jalara Jungle where each man's destiny awaited.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the café Kathryn inhaled the aroma of her coffee and smiled. "This was one of the things that I missed when I was gone, fresh brewed coffee!"

"I know what you mean. When I was in deep space I always craved real chocolate, not the replicated stuff, the real thing."

Kathryn raised her mug, "A toast to you and Will and your upcoming wedding."

Deanna toasted, "And to you and your new found love."

Kathryn blushed, "Am I that obvious?"

"No, I can just sense it. I cannot wait to meet him. I am correct. He is here isn't he?"

"Yes, he is. In fact it was your wedding that brought us together."

Deanna smiled. "Do tell."

Kathryn proceeded to tell her how the invitation to the wedding had been her excuse to get in touch with him again. She told her all about their time in Indiana and even about their time on Voyager. When she finished she realized that she had talked for an hour. She was taken aback with herself.

"I am so sorry. I never meant to go on and on."

"Don't be sorry. It was wonderful to hear. It is not often that I hear a story about love that is as complicated as mine and Will's." Both woman shared a smile. "One more cup?"

"Why not."

After their next cup was served. Deanna leaned across the table. "So, tell me why exactly did you run out on Will all those years ago."

Kathryn grinned knowing that Deanna would understand her next sentence completely. "He was just too dangerous for me."

"That's exactly what my mother called him."

"I got the distinct impression when I was at your house that your mother doesn't care for him."

"I am sure you got a few more impressions along the way." Deanna sighed as she thought about her mother. "It's not that she doesn't like him. It's just that he made me do some things that my mother didn't like."

Kathryn eyed her with interest.

"Will challenged me to be more than what my mother expected me to be. She wanted me to stay here and live out what she considered to be my destiny. The daughter of the Fifth House. Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Riix. Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed."

"That sounds like a very important destiny."

"You've met my mother. You know how forceful she can be. Will made me look at what **I** wanted to do, not what she wanted me to do. That eventually led me to Starfleet and away from Betazed. She also feels that I am letting my heritage go by not using my mental abilities." Deanna got a devilish smile on her face. "It drives her crazy when I talk out loud to her instead of in her head."

"Can you do that? I mean talk to someone directly into their mind."

"Yes, I can, but the person has to clear their mind and be ready to receive it."

Kathryn thought for a few moments. "Is it something you can learn or is it strictly your culture?"

"Some people who are not Betazoid have learned to communicate in that manner but it takes a lot of mental discipline and training."

"Can Will do it?"

Deanna smiled as she thought of their connection. "Sometimes he can but not for very long. He is out of practice. You seem very interested. Have you ever experienced it?"

"Not exactly. It's just that." Kathryn was excited to talk about the unique connection she felt with Chakotay. From what Deanna just told her she thought she would understand. "Chakotay and I seem to have this thing."

"Thing?" Deanna sked while taking her last sip of hot chocolate.

"I am not sure what to call it. We both know when ever each other is near. It's like a feeling. I sense his presence. There are other times when we seem to be having a conversation using only our eyes. It's like we are reading each other's minds."

"It's possible that you are sharing some form of communication. I would have to spend time in both your presences to know for sure. We can talk more about it after dinner tomorrow. You are having dinner with us and the captain, aren't you? I am sorry Captain Janeway, I should say us and Captain Picard."

"Please call me Kathryn. Yes, Chakotay and I had planned to join you tomorrow night. I was hoping to eat alone tonight. Your mother isn't planning anything is she?" Kathryn asked this dreading the possible answer.

Deanna reached over and touched her hand slightly. "Don't worry, you are safe. Tonight it is tradition to dine with the leading families of Betazed. Poor Will will be up to his ears in telepaths." Deanna's smile changed very subtly. "In fact the house will be empty most of the evening. Why don't we go to this restaurant I know and get some food to go. Then you can have a nice quiet evening alone and uninterrupted."

"Sound like a great plan."

Both woman left the café in very high spirits. As they walked away Deanna was busy suggesting a store where they could buy some new night wear and candles! 

**** ****


	13. The Wedding Chapter 13

****

Chapter 13

Chakotay and Captain Picard approached their respective doors. The Captain spoke first. "Commander that was as enjoyable an afternoon as I have spent in a long time. It does the heart good to spend time with a fellow explorer."

"Thank you Captain. It was interesting talking to you."

"Well then, I will see at dinner tomorrow night."

With that both men entered their rooms.

Chakotay was stunned by what he saw. The room was dark except for the candles that surrounded the room. There were four large ones on the mantel and one on each night stand. They illuminated the room softly and graced the air with a scent of roses. In front of the bed a blanket was laid out on the floor. Two place settings and various containers of food were sitting on the blanket. It took a moment before Chakotay located Kathryn. He found her sitting in a chair by the window. It was dark on that side of the room so he could not see her clearly. He stood where he was and lifted his right arm, extending his hand, calling her to join him. She stood up slowly. His breath caught in his throat when she entered the light. She wore a cream colored dressing gown made of what appeared to be silk. The light flickered across her legs showing the shadow of the shorter gown that she wore beneath. When she reached him she took his hand but kept her distance. She wanted to give him the opportunity to look. He fought the compulsion to swoop down on her. He knew he was filthy after a day in the jungle. What he didn't expect was the tears that began to roll down his cheek.

For some reason the tears made her uneasy. She had this ridiculous fear that he was going to turn her down. In her head she knew it was dumb but her stomach was still in knots. Even though it had only been a week officially she knew she had never put much effort into any relationship. They were always a secondary part of her life. Tonight she wanted to make the night special to show him how much he meant to her. Deanna had actually planned it all. Romance was not Kathryn's specialty. She could easily be swept up in it but she was not a good initiator.

Finally he spoke. "This is beautiful. Did you spend your whole day doing this?" He swept his hand around the room.

Kathryn smiled. She understood his tears. "No. In fact I had a little help. I'll tell you after your shower." He leaned in just slightly and brushed his lips against hers. Then he went to get clean. "I left something for you in there," Kathryn called after him.

Chakotay emerged from the bathroom wearing the long black silk pants that Kathryn had left him. "Very nice. I guess you did some shopping while I was gone." He joined her on the blanket on the floor. She had laid out the dinner while he was showering.

"I hope the food is good. Deanna picked everything out."

Chakotay took a mouthful of what looked like spaghetti. As it hit his tongue his eyes closed. "This is marvelous! Taste it." He rolled some up on his fork and lifted it toward her. She leaned across the blanket and captured it slowly into her mouth letting her mouth linger on his fork. Four months ago that gesture would have been meaningless but tonight it set him on fire. In fact everything about the night was getting him aroused. She leaned back down and began to eat. His mind took a new direction as he heard her words in his head again. "Who is Deanna?"

"Deanna Troi."

"Riker's fiancé?"

"Yes."

"Where did you meet her?"

"After I took a nap I decided to go to the museum. We both approached the same painting. We spoke and introduced ourselves and one thing led to another and we spent about three hours drinking coffee and talking."

"I guess you liked her."

"Very much. I think you will like her too. There is a peacefulness about her. It's funny but she is not the kind of girl I would expect Will to fall for."

"Am I the kind of guy people would expect you to fall for?" He grinned that mischievous grin that always melted her heart.

She smiled shyly, "No."

"Is it Deanna I have to thank for all this?"

"You can thank her for all of this so far, but you can thank me for what you will be having later." 

"Kathryn you are gorgeous when you are flirting." He got up on his knees and leaned over and kissed her. "I take it she is nothing like her mother."

"God, no! In fact she went to the museum to escape from her mother. I told her we wanted to escape her mother tonight. That's when she told me the entire household would be dining with the prominent families of Betazed. It is a tradition. Captain Picard was invited because of his affiliation with Will and Starfleet. That's when she cooked up the idea of this romantic evening for you and me."

"Who picked out the food?"

"She did."

"Who picked out your gown?"

"She did."

"My pants?"

Kathryn answered in a husky voice. "I did." To emphasize her point she ran her hand up his outstretched leg.

When they finished eating Chakotay began to get up but Kathryn told him to stay where he was. She cleaned up everything and disappeared into the bathroom. She came back caring a small bottle of gold liquid. "Lay on you stomach."

He obliged her, though it was already difficult. She knelt beside him and poured the hot gold liquid onto the center of his back. An unidentifiable fragrance filled the air. It was a cross between musk and flowers. Put simply it was intoxicating! She began a slow rub down the center of his spine. She gently spread the liquid over his back before she began kneading his shoulders. In torturously slow motions she deeply rubbed the muscles between his neck and his shoulder. Completing one side Kathryn repeated every breathtaking motion on the other side. Once she finished with that, she rubbed deep circles down the left side of his back. Her hands were soft and delicate. To reach the left side she had to rise on her knees. As she rubbed his back her body rocked up and down. Even though his eyes were closed Chakotay could feel her movements. The rhythm she created was the same one he created when he was inside of her. Just when he was sure he could take no more Kathryn proved him wrong. She slide herself across the back of his thighs. Her knees on either side of his legs. She moved her hands up and down his back and her body followed. He could feel her breasts graze across his pants. Finally she stopped moving. She sat straight and slowly worked her hands down to his rear. Kathryn began with deep muscle relaxing strokes, pushing and kneading the rock hard muscles she found there. After what felt like an eternity, her hand movements slowed down and lessened to gentle caresses that continued to send shivers down his legs. Kathryn was close to breaking herself. Just touching him in this intimate way was enough to bring her to the brink of orgasm.

She stood up and he turned onto his side. She crooked her finger and he followed her to the bed. When he went to reach for her she shook her head no and told him to lie down on his back. She straddled his thighs once again, this time the front of his thighs, and repeated every rub, every knead, every caress but this time on his chest. Then she looked him deep in the eye and slowly took of the cream silk robe and revealed a thin pure white satin nightgown. The straps were wire thin and the bodice cut into a low V. Chakotay was memorized by the sight of her. She leaned into him and ran her fingers across his chest. Again, she made eye contact. She knew she was driving him crazy and she loved every minute of it. Slowly she brought her index finger to her mouth and sucked it. She slide it out of her mouth with a pop. That was almost his undoing. In the back of his mind he heard a warning that he was not going to last much longer and she had yet to touch him in his most intimate parts. This time she ran a solitary finger across his stomach. Once again she raised it to her lips but this time she let her tongue lick off the liquid that stuck to her finger. She repeated the process once again but before she could reach her mouth Chakotay grabbed her hand and guided her finger to his mouth. Her finger tasted sweet and warm. He pulled at her arm pulling her weight down onto him. Kathryn was not ready to give up control. Kathryn laid down on top him for a few seconds to allow him to feel her heat. She raised herself onto her elbows just above him and then she swayed first back and forth and then up and down letting the silk caress his bare skin. Then she descended to his mouth just barely reaching his lips before she came back up. She leaned up on her knees and used her hands to slide his pants down. Still on her knees she remained poised just above him. He wanted to grab her and pull her down but she was in control and they were both enjoying it. He watched her and he could see the need in her eyes. Very slowly she lowered herself on him, taking him in inch by inch. Once she had settled she did not move. He couldn't help himself any more. He had to move his hands. He had to touch her. He reached both hands toward her and she met him in mid air. Their fingers entwined. The angry warrior and his queen joined for all eternity in an act as old as time but as new as first light. Kathryn began to rise and fall. The pace was slow and sensuous. Hands entwined and eyes locked and they both knew the true definition of making love. There was a slight quickening followed by a pair of very quiet sighs as they both floated on a plane of peaceful release. Kathryn leaned down and rested on his body. It was minutes before they could breath normally. Finally Kathryn rolled over and tried to snuggle next to him. That's when he realized that she had never taken off her nightgown. He turned onto his side and pulled at it so it would come over her head. He had waited too many years to sleep with her. He wanted to feel her skin on his all night.

Once they were settled comfortably, Chakotay leaned and kissed her head. "Thank you."

"If you are going to thank me every time we have sex you are going to be a very grateful man," Kathryn joked.

"That is fine with me but that is not what I meant. I know it is difficult for you to take the lead in things like this and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciated the effort you went through tonight."

Kathryn was still not comfortable with being upfront about her feelings so she once again tried to play it off. "It was no effort to make love to you."

Chakotay's tone got very serious. "First of all, you made love with me, not to me. Secondly, the physical part wasn't an effort, I meant the planning. You obviously went through a lot of trouble to set up this incredible romantic evening and I just wanted to say thank you."

"I knew what you meant Chakotay." While she was talking Chakotay reached his hand over her shoulder and began to caress her breast. It was not so much a sexual touch but more a loving comforting touch. He was trying to urge her to continue being honest. "I did go through a lot of planning but I loved every minute of it. I have never really been in a relationship where things like this mattered. I always took things for granted. Anyone I was ever with didn't expect much from me, just being there when I could."

"I expect everything from you, Kathryn."

"I know and for the first time in my life I want to give it. It is as if I have a woman that was locked inside of me and she is finally being set free."

"That's good, as long as the woman knows that she belongs to me."

"She wouldn't have it any other way." 


	14. The Wedding Chapter 14

****

Chapter 14

Deanna and Will along with Kathryn and Chakotay arrived at the restaurant. Kathryn was surprised to see that it looked deserted. "Are you sure this is the right place?"

"Oh, I am sure."

Just then an elderly man unlocked the door and hurried them in. He was as short as he was round. His thick hair was a deep shade of silver. He looked human but Kathryn was not sure. He then relocked the door and turned to Deanna and trapped her in a fierce bear hug. After he put her down he shook Riker's hand. Deanna turned to her guests. "This is Pungelo. These are my friends Kathryn and Chakotay." He approached them and hugged each person heartily and then slapped each of them on the back. "Pungelo, when I asked for a special table I never meant for you to close the restaurant."

"It is not everyday that my Deanna gets married. Come, come your table awaits." He led them to the left where a large round table was set for six. The table cloth was a deep blue while the china was white with small blue flowers on the outer rim. "Sit, sit, I will bring the wine." The old man scurried into the kitchen and then back to the table with a bottle and poured each of them a glass of deep red wine. "My son and I will serve you tonight. You do not order. I have made all my special creations for my child and her friends." With that said he escaped into the kitchen.

Kathryn raised her glass. "A toast," she looked at Will, "to old friends," then her eyes went to Deanna, "and new ones." They all touched glasses and took a sip of wine.

"Wow, this is some strong stuff. No synthehol here."

"Will, you know him. He is as proud of his wine as he is of his food. It's his Italian heritage." Just then they heard a rap on the door. Will got up and walked over and unlocked the door once again. Picard walked in followed by a woman. As he arrived at the table he leaned down and kissed Deanna's cheek. You could see the genuine affection between the two. Then he straightened and faced Kathryn who was to his immediate right. "Captain, Commander, I'd like you meet my wife, Beverly."

They all shook hands. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Chakotay remembered a little of the teasing the Captain had thrown his way this afternoon concerning Kathryn. He saw an opportunity to get even. "But Captain Picard I thought you said your wife was very pregnant! That can't be true. Beverly is barely showing. Besides that she is a good deal younger than I expected from the description you gave me !"

Picard tried to glare at Chakotay but he could take as good as he could give. Finally he smiled, "Touché Commander." Beverly laughed. "I love that man already."

Everyone at the table joined in laughing as they sat down. Just as they did a young man brought out a plate of salad for everyone. He served Deanna first then went around the table serving Riker then Beverly followed by Picard and Kathryn and finally Chakotay. While his son was attending to the salads, Pungelo filled the wine glasses.

As they began to eat Beverly addressed Kathryn. "Captain Janeway, I am dying to hear about how you stood up Will."

Jean-Luc eyed him curiously. "You, Number One?"

Will's face turned a little red. "Deanna, did you tell everyone?"

"Anyone I could find who would listen." She smiled at him sweetly as she spoke.

Kathryn quickly recounted the story. Leaving out the parts about her own fears. By the time she was done everyone was laughing at Will's expense. Will tried to remain stoic but it didn't work. Even he laughed when she described how arrogant and cocky he seemed. He was those things in his youth but hopefully time had tempered him.

"It wasn't the last time I made a woman run out on me!"

Kathryn leaned into the table just a little showing her interest. "Do tell Commander." 

Beverly added, "Yes Will, I don't believe I have ever heard this one." It was very enjoyable sitting with colleagues swapping stories. Kathryn couldn't remember the last time she had done this.

"Well, actually it was Deanna who ran out on me."

"I think you have that backwards Commander, **you** ran out on me."

"Shush, this is my story. I first saw her when I attended a wedding when I stationed on Betazed. My commanding officer was complaining that he didn't want to go to another blasted wedding so I volunteered. In fact, his daughter escorted me. So we get there and everyone is mingling in the hall and all of a sudden everyone undresses and enters the other room. I mean everyone!"

Chakotay eyed Kathryn carefully.

"Don't look at me. I told you what informal meant."

Chakotay was stunned. "You mean you were serious? I thought you were just teasing."

"Afraid not Commander."

"This is great!" Will was laughing out loud. "You look exactly like I must have all those years ago."

Suddenly Chakotay let out a strange sigh.

"You're not backing out are you Commander?" Picard asked him.

"No, I just remembered something Deanna's mother said." He was too out of sorts to remain silent. "She told me she thought she would enjoy seeing me at the wedding. I never realized…"

"I am sorry Commander. Mother can be, well she can…"

Will finished Deanna's thought. "She can be her!"

Picard chimed in, "Welcome to the club Commander. We have all been there."

Chakotay's face had turned a dark rust color. "I think I could use some more wine!"

Kathryn tried to rescue him and asked Will what happened at the wedding.

"I watched a beautiful woman come down the aisle and I was dumbstruck. She was the most heavenly creature I ever saw, very womanly yet ethereal. I was sorry to think she was the bride. Then she called a girl up to be joined and I realized that she was not the bride but what we would call the maid of honor. That's when I indulged myself in a few fantasies about what we might be like together. I pictured very vividly what it would be like to bed this beauty." Will paused and waited. No one understood yet.

Suddenly Kathryn's face broke into a wide grin. "Oh my god you were at a wedding full of Betazoids!"

"And everyone could read your mind!" Beverly added.

Even Captain Picard couldn't contain himself. He was laughing so hard that there were tears coming from his eyes. "Number One- interesting first contact!"

That only made them laugh all the more.

Once he caught his breath he continued. "Needless to say I did not make a very good first impression. Add to that, the fact that her mother hated me instantly and Deanna ran like hell from me."

"Yes, I ran at first, but you never gave up. You pursued me relentlessly!"

The two other couples were watching the playful exchange between Deanna and Will. The fact that they were deeply in love was obvious but Kathryn thought there was more. This wasn't the reckless love of youth but a love that had been fought for, a love that endured many hardships, a love that was real. She hoped that she and Chakotay looked like that when they were talking.

"You had your moments too Deanna! Why don't you tell them about the psychological experiments." He smiled in defiance.

"Okay, I will!" Will settled back in his chair and let Deanna have center stage. It should be interesting to hear her version of this, he thought.

"When I met Will I sensed right away that he had tremendous inner strength." AT this Will beamed. "But he had no inner discipline." Deanna turned to see Will frowning. "You can tell from the way he reacted at the wedding that there was basically one thing on his mind. I thought that if we were ever going to become involved that he had to break himself of the hold that his body had on his mind."

"Sounds like a very noble idea counselor."

"I thought so Captain Picard."

"Oh, please! Tell them what you did to me."

Everyone's attention was focused on Deanna. "I tried to make him hang from a tree to prove that his mind could outweigh his physical pain."

"What else Deanna?" Will demanded.

"I asked him read the about Betazoid philosophy."

"And" Will sat up straight and demanded more strongly.

Deanna felt like the tables had turned on her. "Okay, I took him to the top of a beautiful hill in a very secluded place. Then we both got undressed. Once we were naked I made him lay on his side facing the moon. Once he was settled I laid down in front of him in the same position." The table was silent as they waited to hear what happened next. Each person had a vivid picture of the couple in their brain. Final, Chakotay broke the silence. "Then what happened?"

Will spoke before Deanna could. "Then she wanted to discuss philosophy!"

Chakotay laughed out loud. "You're kidding?"

"No, I am not. She gets me naked, snuggles intimately against me and then she wants me to forget about her body and concentrate on her mind."

"Did it work?" Kathryn wanted to know.

"Look at her. What do you think?"

Chakotay answered. "No, I don't think so."

"That's not true Will! It did work! We did talk about philosophy and other things. You **were** able to separate your mind from your body."

"Your right. It did work after awhile. It was _very hard _to forget about my naked body pressing against your nakedness." He was trying to torment her just a little. "Why don't you tell everyone where you got this great experiment idea?"

To everyone's amazement she began to blush and looked down at her hands that were folded in her lap. She finally spoke very softly. "I made it up."

"So, basically you did it all so you could see me naked."

"Will Riker you are a cocky son of a b.." She never finished because Will swept down and kissed her. Deanna protested for a second and then melted in his arms. 

"You always did have the knack for getting out of trouble Number One!"

Will lifted his glass, "One woman who runs out on me, to Kathryn; one who gets naked and only wants to talk; to Deanna, and one…"

"No you don't Will Riker, leave me out of it!"

Picard reached over and put his arm around his wife. "Yes Number One, leave my wife out of it."

The conversation stopped as the next course arrived. Everyone took a few mouthfuls of soup before they continued talking. "Bev, how are you feeling?"

"Not too bad Deanna. It is a lot different this time around. Since I am so much older it is much harder on my body. But at the same time I am wiser and that makes me enjoy it more. I don't have that nervousness that I had the first time around."

"That's because I have it all!"

Beverly stroked her husband's face. "He is a nervous wreck. We never thought about having a child. We both just assumed we were too old. It kind of makes me believe in fate."

Chakotay reached under the table and took Kathryn's hand. He could feel the tension in her body. Even though they never discussed it directly he knew this was a touchy subject for her. "If you don't mind my asking how is it that a captain comes to marry his ship's doctor?"

Beverly and Jean-Luc eyed each other and Beverly decided that she would tell the story. "Well the long and short of it is that I told him he better move it or lose it." Even Deanna was surprised by her friends comment. She had heard bits and pieces of how they had gotten together but never the whole thing. "It happened after our mission that involved the Baku. When we were there, Jean-Luc had a little fling."

"I did not have fling!", he protested.

Both Beverly and Deanna rolled their eyes. "After Jean-Luc had his _little fling _I told him that enough was enough." Kathryn and Chakotay were watching her with interest. Even Will was glued to her every word. Although they served together for years much of Jean-Luc Picard's life remained a mystery. Beverly looked at Commander Chakotay and realized that he and his Captain did not know anything about them. "I knew Jean-Luc because he was my husband's good friend. When I was assigned to the Enterprise we slowly became friends ourselves. At first it started because I was the only one who would stand up to him instead of to agree with everything he said just because he was the captain." 

Chakotay looked directly at Kathryn. "I know the feeling."

"Soon we were having breakfast together every morning and sometimes dinner at night. He would discuss many things with me including the times when he had feelings for other women. I sat back and watched as he got involved with a few wrong women. Finally after this last incident I told him that I had enough. I would not be his substitute wife anymore. If I was going to perform all the other duties of a wife then the least I wanted was a good roll in the hay!"

Deanna was astonished. "Beverly, I can't believe you said that."

"What did you do sir?"

"Well, I did the only thing I could think of. I kissed her!"

Will smiled. "It works every time!"

Both Beverly and Deanna spoke in unison, "Men!"

"Kathryn, you are awfully quiet. We've all told our stories. How about yours?"

"What story?"

"Oh, come on. What does Chakotay have that I didn't have all those years ago?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Kathryn teased.

"Be careful Number One. You can barely handle the one you did get!"

"No changing the subject Kathryn. Spill the beans."

Before anyone could speak the main course arrived.

Chakotay could sense how nervous she was, so he squeezed her hand and took the lead. "It's a lot like your story Beverly. Well, without the roll in the hay thing. You all know that she came to the Badlands to capture me." Both Beverly and Deanna looked surprised. Somewhere they had heard about his past but they both never really paid attention. "I was a wanted criminal and they sent Voyager's crew to arrest me and as many of my Maquis friends as they could find. But you also know we got sent to the Delta Quadrant. We were stuck there with one ship."

Kathryn broke in, "Because you destroyed your ship to save Voyager."

He smiled lovingly at her showing his deep dimples. You could almost hear the other ladies at the table sigh. "We had one ship, two crews, and no way home. So Kathryn proposed that we merge our crews and I become the first officer. Even though I was wary of everything Starfleet, something in my gut told me to trust her. From there we worked together and became friends. It was hard being out there all alone. The two of us and Tuvok were really the only senior officers. We turned to each other for support and friendship. There were a lot of working dinners and breakfasts together every morning. And when I could convince her, we took some shore leave together."

Deanna smiled. "That sounds so sweet."

Chakotay and Kathryn both chuckled. "Don't get me wrong, we fought. In fact, we fought a hell of a lot, very passionately but the friendship remained. We had many ups and downs but through it all the foundation stayed intact. When we returned we each went our separate ways."

Beverly didn't understand. "Why did you break up?"

Chakotay continued. "We did not break up. We were never together."

Will could not hide his amazement. "You mean you never… you know… you never were …together… all that time you were stranded in the Delta Quadrant?" Will was shaking his head in disbelief as he asked. Even Jean-Luc was a little shocked. He had heard plenty of rumors around Starfleet headquarters about their relationship but the subject was never brought up during the debriefings.

"Actually Will, we have you and Deanna to thank. Kathryn invited me to the wedding. The rest is history."

Kathryn looked up and saw that Beverly had tears in her eyes. "That is an incredibly romantic story. I can't believe I am crying!" She wiped her eyes with her napkin.

Not moved at all by the romance of the story. Will was still stuck on the celibacy issue. "I cannot believe that nothing happened!"

"Sweetheart, not everyone is as _physical_ as you." Deanna's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Still, you were stuck out there all alone. You waited for seven years like a monk."

"NO!" Kathryn shouted. While Chakotay blushed the entire table broke into raucous laughter.

Deanna added, "What is it about these handsome first officers?"

"We have all had to sit back and watch our men dally with other women."

Picard looked at his wife. "At least I didn't dally with a ghost!"

"Or with a hologram," Chakotay added. Now Kathryn was blushing.

Beverly put her arm around Jean-Luc. "You both should have skipped the first officers and gone right to the captain."

Chakotay nodded in her direction. "I couldn't agree more." They both kissed their captain's on the cheek.

"I could have been a captain."

"Oh, poor baby, feeling left out." Deanna leaned over and planted a kiss smack on Will's lips.

The table was silent as everyone was collecting their own thoughts. Will's thoughts wandered to Captain Picard. 'He is in a very friendly mood.' Even though they were friends there were still some things that they never discussed. "Why did you wait so long, sir?"

The table got very quiet. The people who knew him knew that the captain did not like talking about his private affairs. "That is a difficult question Number One." Picard sat and thought for a few moments. His friends continued eating and sipping their wine. They waited until he was ready to speak. "There were complications with me being the captain. You know Starfleet Protocol."

Kathryn and Chakotay both coughed at the sound of that word. Shaking his head, Chakotay concurred, "Don't I know it!"

"There was also Wesley."

Deanna addressed the Captain softly, "Wesley idolized you."

"As a captain, not as a father." Beverly placed her hand on her husband's arm. Before he continued Jean-Luc took a long sip of wine. "I think the real reason was her first husband. I always felt like I was betraying Jack."

Picard stopped. Deanna and Will noticed his discomfort. Kathryn and Chakotay did not understand. Beverly patted his arm in a reassuring manner and then she continued for him. She looked at her two new friends and explained. "As I said before Jack was my first husband and Jean-Luc's good friend. When he was killed it was Jean-Luc who brought the body home to us. It was a difficult barrier to cross."

Very quietly, Will asked, "How did you ever get over it?"

Picard smiled just a little. "Beverly gave me her ultimatum. I knew I either needed to leave the past behind and move forward or lose her. So as I said before I threw caution to the wind and kissed her." He leaned over and repeated the gesture. "And I couldn't be happier."

Each person had a sweet smile on their lips except for Kathryn. "Weren't you afraid that Starfleet wouldn't allow both of you to remain on The Enterprise after you were married?"

"Captain Janeway, things have changed some since you left. Since being consumed by the war many of Starfleet's opinions have changed. In fact Captain Calhoun and his wife Commander Shelby, are the Captain and First Officer on the Excalibur."

"Ugh."

Deanna rubs her hand up and down Will's arm. "Don't mind Will. He had a bad experience with Commander Shelby."

"That's putting it mildly."

Picard addressed Kathryn directly. "Besides, there are some powerful advantages to being Captain of the Flagship of The Federation.' He catches her eye and winks. "Not unlike being a Captain who returns to her quadrant as a conquering hero."

Kathryn seemed to find comfort in his words. She relaxed and smiled along with everyone else.

After a few more sips of wine Captain Picard eyed his First Officer curiously. "Now Number One, why did **you** wait so long?" 

As was his long standing habit Commander Riker deflected the question with humor. "Stupidity." He grinned that grin that usually allowed him to escape trouble. He sat back and extended his legs. He folded his hands and placed them in his lap as if to say that was all. But just as everyone waited for Captain Picard they waited for Will Riker. The table remained quiet. Deanna sat perfectly still. She could read his emotions and knew he was engaging in an inner battle between truth and fiction. Finally he sat up and looked her in the eye for strength. They had had this discussion a thousand times with each one hiding behind a different reason. His eyes remained locked with hers as he spoke. "The main reason is that more than anything else I thought I wanted to be a Starship Captain." Only he and Deanna remembered the words she had said to him when she saw him on the Enterprise for the first time since Betazed. He just quoted them word for word only this time he added the word 'thought' because now his desires were different.

Chakotay leaned into the table. He found Will Riker very interesting. He was a man of contradiction. He appeared to be light hearted and carefree yet he was intense and driven. He too began his career wanting to be a Starship Captain but he had lost the taste for command when he was in the Maquis. He was happy now serving as second in command. Maybe he had matured or maybe like Will there were other things keeping him in that position. "I noticed Will, that you said thought. Does that mean you no longer want to be a captain."

"That is a good question Chakotay. It is one I have asked myself over and over. It is not as if I have not had the opportunity but it never felt right. Growing up I dreamed of being the captain of a great ship. It was my ticket out. So I went to Starfleet and worked hard. When I was young I was brash and reckless. I drove myself unmercifully because in my plans I would make captain by the time I was twenty-five."

"Twenty-five! That's a little young. I don't even think Kirk was that young!"

Picard who was a student of history added, "Kirk's age has always been in debate. No one is exactly sure how old he was when he made captain. Legend says 25 but you know how legends are."

"You can laugh now Kathryn but you were no different. I remember you at the academy determined, driven. So driven you passed up a date with **me** to study!" Will smiled at her. There was no malice in his voice only laughter. "Life was much simpler then. I knew where I was going and what I wanted. It's funny, you wish for something your entire life and just when it is within your reach you realize that you are not sure if you want it anymore."

"You know what they say Number One-be careful what you wish for."

"My people believe that despite your plans and machinations the spirits will always lead you to your true destiny."

Will shook his head in agreement at Chakotay and then picked up Deanna's hand and brought it to his lips for a tender kiss. "When I was offered the big chair it never felt right. I thought the question to ask was 'is it better to command a lesser ship or remain the second in command of The Flagship?' I decided it was better to remain on The Flagship."

Now Kathryn leaned in and spoke. "But that wasn't the real question was it? The real question was whether you should embrace your destiny or continue running from it."

Riker was stunned as was Deanna. If she didn't know better Deanna would have believed that Kathryn had read Will's mind. "You're right. I spent my entire life running. First from the shadow of my father and second from Deanna and the relationship that we could have had and finally from myself. It took a lot of years for me to realize that duty was not everything and that it was okay to let my guard down and let someone else lead for awhile. Once I understood the real issues the answer was easy. The best decision was to remain where she was and convince her that I was a fool all those years ago."

"You were not a fool. You were just raised in Starfleet." Kathryn revealed a little of herself in that comment. Quickly the conversation turned as Kathryn began to laugh.

It seemed strange to everyone that she would laugh. It was not a nervous laugh but a genuine old fashioned laugh. Finally, Beverly asked her what was so funny. "I am just remembering a conversation that I had with my helmsman a few weeks ago."

"Oh spirits, this should be good," Chakotay chuckled.

"Do any of you know Owen Paris's son, Tom?"

"No, but I know Owen." Picard answered 

"Trust me, there is little resemblance." Chakotay nearly grimaced.

"Chakotay and Tom have had a few tense moments. On Voyager, Tom was the one in the know. If there was gossip to be passed around he was usually at the heart of it. Anyway, when he found out I was coming to your wedding he filled me in on what he called 'the wedding of the century.'" Deanna and Will eyed each other with surprise. "He talked about how you had passed up numerous promotions to stay on The Enterprise. I explained that you probably enjoyed being Number One on such a great ship. Now let me think of exactly what he said. He said, 'I have seen pictures of both Picard and Deanna Troi and my money is on the girl!'" Now they were all laughing. Chakotay was laughing the loudest as he added, "Leave it to Tom to know gossip about people on another ship!"

"That's exactly what I said!"

"He sounds like quite a character." Picard noted.

"You don't know the half of it. He was also the resident bookie. He had a pool going for everything. In fact, he had a very large pool running on when exactly Captain Janeway and I would get together. I don't think anyone every collected on that one."

"If I am correct Chakotay he had bets going on more specific details of our relationship. Who would touch who first on the bridge, first kiss, first..well you get the picture."

"Sounds like a lot of people could have lost a lot during that long seven years." Riker faced Chakotay. "Why did you wait so long Chakotay? If you had planned it better you could have scored big time."

The double meaning did not escape Chakotay. "I did score big time, when she invited me to the wedding."

"Seriously, what took you so long?"

"That's simple. She wasn't ready."

"That's it?"

"That's it from my point of view. I was gone the minute I met her." That was all Chakotay had to say. He picked up his fork and continued eating.

Will refused to let it go. "Okay Kathryn, why did you wait so long? There has to be more to your story than he is letting on."

Chakotay waited. He wasn't sure she would say anything. This relationship was so new that he didn't know if Kathryn was ready to talk about it yet. Joking was one thing but the question Will had asked was the one question that plagued their relationship from day one.

"Just like you Will I had two sets of reasons. The ones I verbalized and the ones I hid. There were many official reasons. First and foremost I leaned on Starfleet regulations. As the captain it would be unethical for me to become involved with any member of my crew."

Picard interrupted. "Kathryn, you had to know that those were just suggestions. Starfleet would never dictate a person's personal life."

She held up her hand as if to stop him from speaking. "I know, but it was an easy excuse. Add to that the fact that I had been sent there to capture him for committing crimes against The Federation and it did not bode well for us."

Now Deanna spoke up. "But yet you made him your first officer."

"I'll admit that that was selfish. I knew that I needed his crew in order to run Voyager. So many people had died." Kathryn got misty eyed. Chakotay moved his arm from the back of her chair to her back where he rubbed lazy circles. They both still felt the pain of lost crew members. "I was anticipating a 70 year journey. I needed a replacement crew and his crew provided me not only with valuable replacements but trained replacements. I needed Chakotay in a position of authority in order to effectively merge the two crews."

Beverly, who had been watching her carefully, noticed how Janeway smiled just slightly when she spoke about Chakotay. "But things changed, didn't they?"

"Yes. I came to the conclusion early on that Starfleet had been less than truthful in the information they gave me concerning the Maquis. Chakotay proved himself over and over to me. We became friends. Not casual friends but real friends. You know the one person in the world who accepts you as you are but still has the strength and confidence to disagree with you. He was often the difference between a good decision and a bad one. His mere presence provided me with a sense of strength that carried me through many bad times. Even though things were very good between us I was petrified that if we deepened our relationship it would compromise our professional interactions. I didn't think I would be able to separate the two. I also worried about what the crew would think. Add to that the tiny fact that I was already engaged to someone on earth and you could see that there were many obstacles."

Still rubbing her back with one hand Chakotay made a dismissive motion with the other. He still did not like to think of her with Mark. "All of her reasons seemed valid but they did not sit well with me. I knew I loved her. We were constantly striving to get home but I felt like I was already there."

Kathryn reached over and ran her fingers across his tattoo. Deanna was watching the couple with interest. She could feel the intimacy of Kathryn's last action. "As I said Will, there were these reasons, then there were the real reasons. Like you I spent a good deal of my life running, running from involvement. I was obsessed with being the best Starfleet had ever seen so I spent years pleasing everyone but me. Perfection was my only goal. Anything that did not lead me toward achieving that goal was of no interest to me."

"What made you change your mind?" Will was truly interested. He knew even as early as their academy days that they had a lot in common. Now he observed that they were both so Starfleet yet they both picked mates that were completely different from themselves.

"After I was home for awhile I realized how lonely I was. I missed the simple things, breakfast in the morning, sitting next to him on the bridge, just having someone to talk to." Kathryn smiled shyly. When I woke up in the middle of the night and reached for my comm badge to call Chakotay to see if he was up too, I knew I had to do something. That was when I invited him to the wedding."

Chakotay knew she really had not answered the question. She had avoided it, He didn't know if this was intentional or not but he was not going to ask. He didn't have to. Will did. 

"You know, you never really answered the question. What took you so long, for real?"

Kathryn looked Will right in the eye because she knew he would understand. "I needed to get over my fear and let go. I knew that this involvement would not entail just my body and mind but also my soul. From the moment I first saw him I felt the sheer power of his emotion. Unlike me he was not guarded. He hid nothing. In order to have a romantic relationship with Chakotay I would have to give up all the control I had spent years building. I knew if we got involved it would be all or nothing. So I chose the safest route, nothing. Once I was away from him I realized how much I missed him. Like you, I had found the one person in the universe that completed me. I could not envision a future without him." All the women at the table had tears in their eyes. Even Will was moved. He knew exactly how she felt. When Deanna touched his mind it was like nothing he had ever experienced. When he was finally honest with himself, he admitted that he could not live without it or her. Deep in their own thoughts they did not hear Pungelo and his son as they came in and cleaned up the table.

Once they were finished the owner returned and spoke to the guest of honor. "Deanna my love, dessert is in the fridge in the back. You and your friends can choose what you want. We are going home. Here is a key. You and your future husband can lock up when you leave."

Deanna stood and hugged and kissed the man. "I can't thank you enough."

He leaned in and kissed the top of her head. "Enjoy life little one." With that said he left with his son. Deanna locked the door then turned to the table, "Who is up for dessert?"

Beverly jumped up. "I am and I could use a little walking. My back is getting stiff."

"We will be back with some treats for everyone."

"You want to bet they only bring coffee."

"Right you are Number One, I better get in there and commandeer some Earl Grey. Tea anyone?"

"I would love some tea."

"I could probably use a hand Chakotay if you don't mind. We'll let the ladies handle the dessert. We'll handle the drinks."

"With Deanna, it is bound to be chocolate."

"Chakotay, see if you can find…"

"I know coffee ice cream!"

Both men left the room. Will got up and sat next to Kathryn effectively invading her personal space. He placed his arm around the back of her chair and leaned into her. "Alone at last after all these years."

Kathryn playfully slapped him on the chest and smiled. He settled back into the chair. "Seriously though, I have never seen you this happy."

"Will, how often have you seen me?"

"I have a little confession to make. That blind date we had wasn't so blind. I had my friend arrange it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I wanted to met you so I had my friend set it up."

"Why would you want to meet _me_?"

"I had seen you around campus. I heard a lot about you. You were different than the girls I dated. You weren't the pretty cheerleader type."

Kathryn scowled at him. "I wasn't the _pretty _cheerleader type. What does that mean?"

"That didn't come out right. People called you the perfect one. Nothing but perfection was good enough for you. I recognized that for what it was, a Starfleet upbringing. I knew instantly that we had a lot in common. You would understand my ambition, my desires, and my dreams of being a Starfleet Captain. I thought we would be perfect together because we were both so similar."

"Little did you know that what you needed was someone who was not so similar to you!"

"Isn't that the truth."

"She is wonderful Will. Did Deanna tell you we met at the museum yesterday. We had a marvelous time together. She is special."

Will smiled. "Yes, she is. It took me a long time to finally realize just how special. When I think of all the time I wasted."

Kathryn touched his arm. "It wasn't time wasted. You are not the same person now that you were then. What if you had married her when you were young? Who is to say how your lives would have turned out. You're together now because the time is right. You are both ready."

Will laughed. "I could say the same for you. He is the one, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is. The connection is strong. It is a pull that I could no longer resist, nor did I want to."

"Remember when I was on Voyager and we talked about Deanna and me?"

"Yes."

"Remember when I explained the word _imzadi_ to you."

"Yes."

"He is your _imzadi_, I can feel it."

"Yes, he is. He has reached a part of me that I never knew existed. In his culture he calls it a soul mate. It is a bonding so strong it can never be broken. I hope you don't mind but I used your word. I called him _imzadi_."

"Did he understand?" She shook her head yes. "It's not my word. It is a Betazoid word and it means exactly what you described. A connection so strong that time nor trials can break it. That is what Deanna and I have and I can see that is what you have." Will leaned over and hugged her. "I am very happy for you both."

Just then Chakotay and Captain Picard came back in the room.

"Hey you two, break it up." Chakotay placed the tray he was carrying on the table and walked behind Kathryn. Even though he knew it was nothing he felt a pang of jealousy. He placed his hand on her shoulder. Kathryn reached up and held it. "We were just discussing soul mates."

"Oh."

"We both know how lucky we are to have found ours."

"Speaking of mine, where is she with that cake?"

"Looking for me or dessert?" Deanna asked as she and Beverly returned with the sweets.

"Both!" He went to her and helped her carry the plates full of desserts.

The new friends settled back down to share their coffee and treats.

Kathryn tasted a forkful of what looked liked chocolate cake. She closed her eyes as the warm sweetness slid down her throat. "Not bad for chocolate."

Deanna tasted the same cake. "It's not just chocolate. It has some mocha in it."

"That explains it!" Chakotay leaned his mouth over and snatched the cake off her fork as Kathryn brought it to her mouth. Each couple was enjoying the easy camaraderie.

"Are you nervous about the wedding tomorrow? Beverly asked.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Well, that is interesting. Why are you nervous Deanna?"

"Isn't every girl nervous about her wedding?"

"Will, why aren't you nervous?"

"How bad could it be? I already made the worst possible impression I could to all the people on Betazed at the last wedding I was at. What could be worse?"

Deanna quietly spoke. "Mother."

Will hugged her. "Deanna don't worry. Your mother won't do anything to ruin this day for you. I think she has finally resigned herself to the fact that I **am** going to be your husband." He looked around the table and winked. "Besides, I have a surprise in mind that should keep Lwaxana happy."

"Will, don't do anything that will upset her."

"Relax sweetheart. Would I do that?"

Both Beverly and Jean-Luc answered a resounding yes!

After a few more bites of cake Captain Picard noticed how tired his wife looked. "I think I better be getting my wife home to bed. Maybe we can do this again before the next wedding. " He looked over at Kathryn and Chakotay.

"I don't know Captain. After all we have only been dating for five days." He stood and shook hands with Chakotay. "Don't wait too long Commander. Will, I'll see you back at the house."

"No, I am staying at the Starfleet Embassy tonight. Some earth tradition about not seeing the bride until the wedding. It is suppose to be bad luck."

He leaned over and kissed Deanna on the cheek. "I didn't think Betazoids believed in luck."

"I am half human Captain."

When he got to Kathryn she stood up. The Captain took the Captain into his arms and hugged her. He whispered a final message into her ear. "Be happy. If anyone deserves it you do." He turned and placed his hand on the small of his wife's back and led her to the door. "We'll see you tomorrow at the wedding," Beverly called.

"Will, let them out please. Kathryn and I will clean up and then we can all go."

Kathryn joined Deanna in carrying the plates into the kitchen. "Kathryn, he is everything you said he was and so much more. I can see how you fell for him."

"He is kind of handsome isn't he?" Kathryn was smiling like a school girl with her first crush.

"Kind of! He looks like something you would see in a museum."

"I felt a very strong connection between the two of you. I think it is very possible that you are reading each other on some level. He loves you very much."

"I know. I can't believe that I am this lucky. Deanna, thank you so much for everything! Without you and Will we would not be here today."

"I think I have to agree with your handsome man out there. Somehow our destiny finds us. Mine certainly did and so did yours.

Much later that night Kathryn and Chakotay were lying wrapped in each others arms.

"I had a wonderful time tonight. It was nice to talk and laugh again. There were a few times during the night that it struck me that I had not sat and talked with a group of friends in a long time."

"There were always friends available to you on Voyager."

"I know Chakotay. I just wasn't ready to be both friend and captain. Things will be different this time around."

He snuggled her even closer and kissed the top of her head. "Yes, things will be different this time."


	15. The Wedding Chapter 15

****

Chapter Fifteen

(A special thank you must be made to the author Peter David. It was from his book Imzadi, that I gathered the details of the Betazoid wedding ceremony. I mean no infringement on him or his work. It also has to be noted that any phrases surrounded by * are communicated telepathically.)

"Kathryn, I don't see why I have to wear this blasted dress uniform if I am just going to take it off!" Chakotay continued to pull at the collar as he spoke.

"I told you that the reception is formal."

"Interesting idea-nude wedding but formal reception."

"You knew going in Commander."

"I wouldn't exactly say I knew. I repeat I thought it was a joke. I thought you were flirting."

"You thought or you wished."

He swept her into his arms and kissed her. "Both!" They continued walking hand in hand to the designated building. When they got to the front steps Chakotay stopped. "I am usually not shy but I am ready to jump out of my skin! This just feels weird. The only person I want looking at me nude is you."

Kathryn knew exactly what he was worried about. "Her mother will be too caught up in the wedding of her only daughter to even glance your way."

He looked at her hopefully. "Do you think so?"

Kathryn began to walk again. He pulled her arm to stop her. "I asked you a question." His voice was forceful. "Do you really think so?"

Kathryn shrugged her shoulders in defeat. "No. But we owe it to Deanna to act properly despite what her mother might or might not do. Besides there shouldn't be that many people at the actually ceremony. You know what Deanna said - the ceremony was just for friends and family but the reception is a big formal Starfleet event." They both reluctantly entered the building.

They found themselves in a large room. The room was filled with yet it had no furniture in it. Around the room on the walls were areas that looked like small closets. There were hangers and hooks and boxes on the floor. The stark reality of disrobing in public hit Kathryn like a tidal wave. Suddenly she was very nervous. She instinctively reached for Chakotay's hand. The couple stood hands entwined and took in their surroundings. The room was hot. It had a feel similar to a tropical region, hot and humid. Neither of them could understand this considering the barrenness of the room. They both noticed a door that must have led to another room. The other thing they both noticed was the absolute silence. There was not a sound being made in the room. They were reluctant to speak because of it. They both quickly realized the irony in this since everyone in the room could read their minds. More people continued to enter the outer room.

"It's not everyday that the daughter of the Fifth House, whose mother is the Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rux, and Heir to The Holy Rings of Betazed gets married."

Kathryn was startled by the sound of a voice. She did not know the man who was speaking. "No, I don't suppose it is." When she turned to ask him who he was he was already gone.

They both were startled by another voice directly behind them. "It's too damned quiet in here."

Chakotay and the Captain turned around and saw them. "Captain Picard, Beverly it is wonderful to see you."

Picard stood with his arm protectively on his wife's back. "All this silence is very eerie. I never get used to it."

Kathryn looked around. "It is nerve wracking. I have a very strange feeling that they are talking about me."

Beverly chimed in. "It's like a cycle. You think they are talking about you. Then you realize you are thinking it and that they can read your mind. Then you try to not think about it which of course makes you think of it even more. It is just ridiculous."

Kathryn smiled at Beverly. She had summed up her feelings exactly.

Picard leaned over and kissed his wife. "I better go. I am sure Lwaxana is driving Deanna crazy." Picard left his wife with their new friends and entered the inner room. Once he opened the door a wave of tropical breeze spread throughout the room. The strong smell of flowers swirled through the air. 

Chakotay stood between Kathryn and Beverly, happy to have some conversation to distract him. "Where is he going?"

"Deanna asked if he would lead her mother into the ceremony. He will act in her father's stead." Before anyone else could speak the doors opened inviting everyone inside. The crowd began undressing and taking their seats for the ceremony.

Deanna and her mother were in a private room adjoining the ceremonial room. Her mother was arranging the curls that swept down the side of her daughter's face. Deanna sat in front of the mirror at the vanity table while her mother stood behind her.

* There is no reason to be nervous Little One. You chose him long ago.*

*Yes, mother.*

Lwaxana grabbed her chest in shock. * You're worried about me! You think I'll make a scene!*

It was useless denying it. *You are not exactly thrilled with this marriage.*

Lwaxana pulled up a chair and sat down next to her daughter. She turned Deanna around to face her and took her face into her hands. * I **am** thrilled Little One!*

Deanna pulled her face away in disgust and walked to the other side of the room. *Please don't lie to me! You don't need to be empathic to know how you feel about Will.*

*Apparently you do! I _am thrilled _about this wedding. He is your _imzadi_.*

Deanna was stunned. She had no sense that her mother was deceiving her. *Why mother, after all these years?*

*I could ask you the same thing.* Lwaxana took a deep breath. She stood up and moved about the room. Deanna watched her mother. To her she no longer looked like the domineering leader of the fifth house. She looked like a woman lost in a memory. A vulnerable woman lost in a memory of sadness. * When I met your father it was pure ecstasy. I knew he was the one instantly. I too was betrothed to someone else at the time yet I gave him my heart. I defied my parents and married him.*

Deanna was amazed at her mother. It was rare for her to reveal her true self even to her daughter. When her mother turned to face her she saw tears in her eyes.

*Losing him was the most painful experience of my life. Any other relationship I ever had never came within one iota of that one.* Lwaxana smiled nostalgically. * He was my _imzadi_.*

Deanna stood up and faced her mother. All the years of frustration and fighting with her mother over Will seemed to come to the surface. Deanna was angry. She spoke out loud to her mother. She didn't need to yell to make her point. The simple fact that she was speaking out loud was enough to make her mother understand. " If you understood, then why did you fight me for so long. It would have been much easier if I had your blessing!"

Deanna waited. Her mother sat in the chair at the vanity and began to fuss with her own hair. She thought for awhile before she spoke, which was something she was unaccustomed to. She leveled the playing field and spoke her words out loud also. "Little One I did not approve, until now. His spirit was restless, immature. He wasn't ready to be a man, much less a husband. He needed to be happy with himself before he could be happy with you. Look within yourself Little One and you will see that I am right."

Deanna eyes glistened with unshed tears. *When did you get so wise?*

Lwaxana stood up and hugged her only daughter. *I always was, you just never listened!*

Mother took daughter by the hand and marched toward the door. *Let's go. You have a handsome Commander waiting to become your husband and I have a dramatic performance to put on.*

*Not too dramatic mother.*

Lwaxana laughed and bowed in theatrical fashion. *They will be talking about my wailing for years to come.*

Deanna frowned and headed to the door. The moment was gone. Her mother was back to her old self. Deanna halted just short of the hallway. *MOTHER!*

*Come on, don't tell me you haven't thought the same thing. The dimples were enough to get me. I am sure he has a rock hard physique underneath that Starfleet uniform and I intend to enjoy every moment of seeing it. I might just give that Captain what's her name a run for her money.* Lwaxana swept out of the room to meet her escort Captain Picard.

At that exact moment the calm she had recently acquired completely vanished from Deanna's body.

As Kathryn took off her uniform pants she asked Beverly, "Tell me again why I am doing this?"

Beverly laughed. "Because we are Starfleet officers and we are good at doing what we are told even if it feels ridiculous! Just be glad you are not eight months pregnant and look like me."

Chakotay escorted both women into the room. "You look lovely Beverly."

"You are a charmer Commander."

Kathryn replied. "You're not the first woman to tell him that." His encounter with Lwaxana returned to the forefront of his mind. His apprehension returned.

Chakotay led them to seats on the far left of the room. The room was not that large. There were six rows of chairs on each side. Every row had five chairs in it. Chakotay chose the third row. Beverly went in first and went all the way to the far end. Chakotay entered next followed by Kathryn. The three sat down on the softly cushioned chairs and stared straight ahead. Chakotay placed his hands folded in his lap. Kathryn in turn crossed her legs. It took a few minutes and a lot of courage before any of them would look around. The room was completely white. It was filled with dozens of floral arrangements all of which were also white. The smell was beautiful. It reminded Chakotay of the jungle where he and Picard had visited. In the front row on the right was Deanna. She sat alone. Her shoulders were straight and proud. Her black hair was swept up in the back with various pieces of curls sweeping across her neck and ears. She wore a white headband around her head. Kathryn remembered reading somewhere that it was symbolic of something. "Deanna looks radiant. Doesn't she Chakotay?"

"Yes, she does." He fidgeted. He wasn't sure where to look and more importantly he wasn't sure what to think. He closed his eyes and attempted to meditate for a minute to bring his emotions under control. It was extremely difficult to be sitting next to Kathryn right now. He was annoyed with himself. He was used to having much better control of his body. He didn't want to embarrass her so he begged his spirit guide to bring him calm.

Kathryn didn't noticed Chakotay's turmoil because another couple joined them in the seats next to her. It was the same man who spoke to her in the outer room. He smiled at her as he sat down. This time he introduced himself. "I am Gart. My daughter, Chandra, is Deanna's best friend and attendant."

"I am Captain Janeway from the Federation. I am an old friend of Commander Riker."

"It is nice to meet you. It was at my daughter's wedding that I first met Commander Riker. He made quite an impression." Gart smirked as he remembered the young man's unbridled thoughts. He looked over at the Captain again. "You are uncomfortable."

Kathryn was startled by his bluntness but then she remembered he could read her mind.

"I am sorry Captain. I did not mean to intrude. It is just that many newcomers to Betazed find our ways strange."

"I don't think I would call them strange, unique maybe."

The man chuckled. "Spoken like an ambassador. Our ways are unique. They are old and steeped in tradition. He pointed to the walls. "The color white is used to represent purity. It is also used in simplicity so it takes nothing away from the Betazoid inscriptions on each panel. The flowers are from our own jungle. They are used to represent beauty." He stopped which left Kathryn wondering about the nudity.

"Ah yes, the nudity. It symbolizes that physicality and spirituality are one. There is nothing to hide. Everyone in their nudity is sharing in the spirit of unity and harmony."

"It is a little less disconcerting knowing the history behind it. How will I know what is going on in the ceremony if I cannot read minds?"

"The ceremony will be spoken out loud. It is done in deference to off worlders or those among us whose powers are not that strong." Just then a door on the left side of the chapel opened and William T. Riker walked out. He was alone. He had no family representing him. No one to perform the rituals of the male in the bonding but he did not mind. He had waited years for this day. Finally they were ready and they were here. His eyes caught sight of Deanna. She was as lovely as the day when he first saw her in this very place. This time his mind was not filled with sexual thoughts but with thoughts of love. His mind and his heart were overwhelmed at the thought of joining his life with hers. Deanna saw him and she smiled. Although she could not read everyone in the room, she could read him. She understood what he was feeling and she shared it with him. They locked eyes and relished their private spiritual bonding. Some guests were nodding to one another. Many remembered the brash young man and his appearance at Chandra's wedding. They all agreed that he had come a long way along the journey of life and no one doubted that he and Deanna were where they both should be. 

It took a few moments for the Federation guests to realize that they had relaxed. They, too, were caught up in the scene before them. Chakotay brushed Kathryn's hand with his and leaned down and whispered in her ear, "soon."

Everyone's attention was drawn to the door on the right. A cry escaped the other room as the door opened. Picard entered with his back to the people. He was practically dragging a woman through the door. Lwaxana was wailing. "No, Deanna, No." Picard continued to pull her as her sobs increased. She was on the verge of hysteria. Kathryn and Chakotay looked about frantically. No one was moving. No one was even reacting besides Captain Picard. He had moved to her side and put his arm around her shoulder. They had made it to about three meters from the alter when Lwaxana cried out again and fainted dead in Picard's arms. Chakotay moved without thinking. He was heading out of the aisle to help the Captain when Gart reached out his hand to block Chakotay's way. Before Chakotay could push the man away, Gart told him that it was a symbolic gesture. It was all part of the ceremony. Chakotay went back to his seat feeling a little foolish yet relieved. Kathryn stroked his arm and leaned into him. "Just think what Lwaxana would have done if she opened her eyes and found you looking down at her instead of Captain Picard!" Chakotay shuddered just a little.

The Captain and Lwaxana had made it to their seats next to Deanna. Another woman walked in. She had long blonde hair and like Beverly she was visibly pregnant. The man next to Kathryn smiled broadly. He looked down the aisle at Commander Riker's guest. "My daughter."

"She is lovely." Kathryn told him.

The Betezed man sighed. "Yes, she is, even more so now that she is carrying my grandchild!"

Kathryn thought of her mother and her last words when she left for the wedding. All parents are the same she thought.

The blonde haired woman walked over and stood directly in front of Deanna. "I summon you to the place of marriage." She reached out a hand to Deanna who stood up and took it. Chandra led Deanna to the place on the ceremonial alter next to Riker. As she did a quiet cry was heard front the front row. Lwaxana could not control herself. The only difference was that this time the tears were real.

The clergyman began to speak. He lifted up the old scroll that was in his hands. He read the words first spoken by the ancient people of Betazed. He spoke in their ancient tongue long since discarded for a more modern version similar to earth's English. Even though Kathryn could not understand the words she could feel the beauty of it. Will and Deanna had turned to face each other and took each other's hands. After each sentence the clergyman spoke, the couple said yes, and that was followed by the soft bang of a gong. After the final declaration, the clergyman rolled up the scroll and carefully placed it in its ornate gold box. The couple dropped hands as Will walked to the side of the altar and retrieved a silver tray. He returned to Deanna and placed the tray on the podium just behind them. "In accordance with earth tradition, the place of the groom's birth, the couple would now like to recite their own vows." The clergyman walked up the steps of the altar and sat in a chair that reminded Chakotay of a throne. Once he sat everyone attending did the same.

Deanna once again took Will's hand. She took a gold band from the tray and slipped it on his finger and began to speak.

"With this ring I pledge you my life. I will stand beside you for all the years to come. I will nurture you and love you and be your partner in all we do. I do not have to pledge you my heart for you captured that the day you sat in this very same room. You helped teach me to reach for the best in me, to challenge myself to grow and fulfill my own destiny. Though the road was long and filled with many twists and turns I have found my destiny and it is right where it all began, in this ceremonial room with you, Will Riker." There were tears in everyone's eyes by the time Deanna had finished. Lwaxana dabbed the corner of each eye as she projected her thoughts to her daughter. *Well done Little One.*

Will leaned over and kissed Deanna gently on the head. He took a matching ring from the tray on the podium and placed it on her finger. He took her hand in his and took a deep breath. There was silence in the room. Suddenly there was a collective gasp from the Betazoids in attendance.

*Deanna with this ring I pledge you my life, for without you I am nothing more than a shell of a man. I spent years chasing dreams that did not make me happy. The only happiness I have found in life was when I was with you.*

Kathryn and Chakotay looked around. Everyone was staring intently at Will as if they were listening to him but he was not speaking. She looked at Gart who caught her eye and saw her confusion. He leaned over and spoke softly. "He is communicating telepathically. He honors her greatly in doing this." She mouthed the word, "oh," and relayed the idea to her friends. Even though they could not hear him they watched his face and read his expressions.

*You are the piece of my soul that brings forth the goodness and light. I thank the gods the day I agreed to attend Chandra's wedding, for it was the day of my awakening, the day I found my life. I am yours in mind and body. I will not betray our commitment in action or spirit. I will do everything in my power to bring you everlasting joy, for you are my _imzadi.* _There was another gasp from the people. 

Kathryn looked around the room and saw tears streaming down almost every woman's face. Her attention returned to the altar when Will turned and walked down the aisle and stood and faced Lwaxana. * Lwaxana, ruler of The Fifth House, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rux, Heir to The Holy Rings of Betazed - on this day I give you my solemn promise to love your daughter with all my heart, to protect her with all my strength, to desire her and only her with my body, and to trust her with my being. I vow to honor her Betazoid traditions in both our lives and those of our children. Lwaxana, I promise to be all she needs and more.*

Lwaxana stood up and placed her hand on her new son-in-law's cheek. She decided to honor his heritage as he had done hers. She opened her mouth and spoke. "Will Riker, we have been adversaries in the past. You viewed me as an obstacle you needed to overcome in order to reach my daughter. I was not an obstacle but merely a guardian. I have watched you progress in both emotional and mental ability. You have gone from a brash, arrogant young man to an astute confident grown man. It is with great joy that I witnessed the joining of my daughter to a man who has become worthy of her." Lwaxana kissed him on the cheek. "I am proud to call you son-in-law."

The exchange seemed tremendously out-of-character to everyone who knew her but Lwaxana had depth that few people understood.

Will returned to the altar and took Deanna's hand once again. This time he spoke his declaration out loud for all to hear. "Deanna, with this ring I pledge you my life, for without you I am nothing more than a shell of a man. I spent years chasing dreams that did not make me happy. The only happiness I have found in life was when I was with you. You are the piece of my soul that brings forth the goodness and light. I thank the gods for the day I agreed to attend Chandra's wedding, for it was the day of my awakening, the day I found my life. I am yours in mind and body. I will not betray our commitment in action or spirit. I will do everything in my power to bring you everlasting joy, for you are my _imzadi." _

As Kathryn listened she was caught in the beauty of his words. Her cheeks were wet with tears. Chakotay reached a hand up and wiped her tears. Both of them were remembering their own declaration. He once again took her hand and squeezed it. Someday soon it would be them exchanging vows. Any outsider watching the wedding may have found it absurd. A grown man completely naked, pledging his love to a woman also naked, in front of guests who were all crying, who also happened to be naked. Yet the beauty of the ceremony and the depth of the couple's love all but made everyone forget their initial discomfort. They were simply people sharing the union of two people deeply in love.

The clergyman joined the couple at the bottom of the altar. "In another tradition that is unique to earth- I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Will scooped Deanna up and exuberantly swung her around as he kissed her lips. The gesture seemed fitting in the uniqueness of the wedding. The guests stood as the newly married couple prepared to leave. The new Mr. and Mrs. Riker led the way down the aisle. When they reached the back of the room Captain Picard and Lwaxana Troi headed down the same aisle. Lwaxana was on Picard's left as they began to walk. She stopped when she reached the end of the third row. She looked pointedly at Commander Chakotay. Her eyes scanned every inch of his body from head to toe. She smiled wickedly as her eyes returned to his face. She laughed very softly and continued on her journey down the aisle to the reception. 

Every ounce of admiration she had gained with her declaration to her son-in-law vanished in the instant she devoured Chakotay with her eyes. Picard couldn't help but chuckle. 'Lwaxana was back with vengeance.'

****


	16. The Wedding Chapter 16 & Epilogue

****

Chapter 16

The reception was held outside. There were huge tents set up to shade people from the sun. The theme of flowers and the color scheme of white also prevailed. Each table had a white table cloth and a vase filled with gardenias in the center. There was an old fashioned orchestra playing on the far left and to the right of them was a dance floor. 

Kathryn and Chakotay found themselves seated at what they considered a table of honor. They sat with Captain Picard and Beverly. Also joining them at the table was Commander LaForge and his date along with Commander Data. There were two empty place settings remaining. When Kathryn looked around she saw many familiar faces. This **was** a Starfleet event. Many of the admirals that had taken part in the debriefings were there, some she knew and some she didn't. There were also tables filled with local people. Of course there was a table set in the front for the new couple and their families. The orchestra began to play softly in the background.

Geordi La Forge was the first to speak. "So, Beverly spill, what was the wedding like?

"It was beautiful, very romantic."

"Oh come on, everyone was naked! How beautiful could it have been?"

"There were some interesting moments! Wouldn't you agree Kathryn?"

"Yes, there were some unusual sites!" They both barely contained their laughter.

Captain Picard spoke up. "I didn't see anything all that unusual."

Beverly reached over and lovingly stroked her husband's cheek. "That's because you didn't see yourself backing out of the room dragging Deanna's mother." That was all it took for Beverly, Kathryn and Chakotay to burst out laughing.

"You did look a little undignified Jean-Luc," Kathryn added in defense of Beverly.

Picard was not amused.

Data sat as stone faced as ever. "I do not understand."

"You had to be there Data," Beverly assured her friend.

"No, I think I can describe it for you."

"That's enough Captain Janeway." Captain Picard spoke in his sternest voice but no one paid him any heed.

Kathryn had the full attention of the other guests at the table. "Will had just stepped to the front of the room and was waiting. The door to the right of the room opened and suddenly all you saw was a derrière sticking out."

Geordi asked astonishingly, "It was yours Captain?" The ladies at the table were covering their mouths to hide the sounds of their laughter.

Kathryn continued. "Yes, it was the Captain. Then he was struggling with what we thought was something. He looked to be pulling something and as he did his butt was wiggling back and forth. It was quite an unusual sight."

Picard was embarrassed. "I was carrying out a time honored tradition of the Betazoid people! I was escorting Lwaxana through the door. She was acting out her protests to the wedding."

Beverly hugged him. "You were very dignified sweetheart." She kissed his bare head. 

"It could have been worse. You could have been facing us and pulling her from behind."

"I don't think I would talk if I were you Commander Chakotay. It wasn't me that Lwaxana eyed up and down as if she was ready to eat me."

"Damn Data, I think we missed all the fun."

"It would have been intriguing to witness these rituals. Perhaps we will get a chance to make similar observations during this, what is it called again Geordi?"

"A reception, Data. I think you may get your wish. Don't look now but I believe Mrs. Troi is approaching our table."

Lwaxana swept across the floor. She reached their table and stood behind Geordi which allowed her to be directly across the table from Chakotay. "Jean-Luc, I wanted to thank you for your assistance in today's ceremony. You performed your duties admirably."

"Thank you Mrs. Troi. It was a beautiful ceremony."

Lwaxana stared intently at Chakotay. "Yes, it was, some parts more beautiful than others."

Chakotay thanked the spirits that he was in his full dress uniform. He foolheartedly believed that it gave him protection from her penetrating stares.

"It was very touching that Will chose to speak his vows twice, once telepathically and once out loud." Kathryn added.

"Yes, he did in fact amaze some of the people there. But of course, I always knew, he had that kind of depth. Otherwise, I would never have encouraged the match." Beverly and Picard nearly choked as Lwaxana rewrote history before their eyes. "I have other guests to attend to. Captain, Commander I will grant both of you the honor of dancing with me later." She left to visit other tables. Before she got ten steps away she stopped and turned. She looked directly at Commander Chakotay. "Really Commander!" Then she turned and left.

"Chakotay?"

Chakotay jumped up. "Kathryn, anyone, I am going to the bar, can I get you anything?"

Picard joined him. "Good idea. I will help you." They took orders and went to get the drinks.

"What did you mean when you said that Commander Riker said his vows telepathically?"

"Geordi, it was amazing. Deanna had finished her vows and it was Will's turn to speak and there was silence. We all just assumed he was waiting and then we found out he was projecting his thoughts. It was incredible. After all these years of knowing both of them, and I never knew he could speak to her that way. It was intensely romantic. Speak of the devil."

The bride and groom just entered the party. Commander Riker wore his dress uniform but Deanna had chosen something different. She wore what could only be described as a dressed that flowed. With every movement she made the dress seemed to float around her in an ethereal manner. She looked angelic. The white of the dress contrasted with her dark hair made a beautiful picture. The band began to play and the newly married couple took the floor. Chakotay and Picard had since returned with drinks for everyone and were watching the couple along with everyone else. The music grew a little louder and several people at the table exclaimed, "Nightbird!"

Kathryn and Chakotay looked perplexed. Beverly smiled sweetly. "Nightbird was the song that Will spent years trying to perfect on the trombone. I heard a rumor once that he promised if he got the solo perfect that he would marry Deanna."

Kathryn settled into Chakotay's arm and watched her friends dance. Not for the first time she wondered what it would be like to be the one getting married. As much as she wanted to believe Picard when he said that Starfleet would not separate them if they married she was still leery. It took her so long to find her home in his arms she knew she would rather resign her commission than be separated from him again. The music ended and Deanna and Will headed over to their table and sat down. After the congratulations were complete Beverly asked her friend why she was not sitting at the head table. "It was a compromise I made with my mother. Mother agreed that the head table would be provided for all the families of the great houses of Betazed but I would be able to sit with my friends if I agreed to go along with all the ancient traditions of the ceremony."

Kathryn reached over and touched Deanna's hand. "It was a beautiful ceremony." Kathryn chuckled just a little. "If you would have told me that I could be at a wedding and actually forget that I was stark naked I would have thought you were crazy."

Deanna was curious. "Did you really forget? I have found that it is so uncomfortable for most people that they miss the entire ceremony."

Chakotay looked at Will as he spoke. "At first I did spend a concerted amount of energy trying to control my thoughts. I didn't think Starfleet would appreciate another incident like the last wedding you attended."

Kathryn playfully slapped his arm. "Who exactly were you looking at Chakotay?"

He leaned in and kissed her head. "Only you!" He grabbed her hand and led her out to the dance floor. As they danced he leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Just imagine how bad it would have been if we had not gotten together before the wedding. I don't think I could have seen you naked and controlled seven years of longing no matter how much I tried."

Kathryn grinned. "Then Lwaxana really would have gotten an eyeful!" He laughed. "Yes, she would have!" She settled against him and laid her cheek on his chest. They had danced at various parties on Voyager as well as the many receptions after they returned but they had always kept the proper distance. She snuggled closer. Her left arm was wrapped around his waist while the right one was clasped in his hand resting on his heart. His other hand was roaming up and down her back while his chin rested gently on her head. They continued in silence until the music ended. When they separated they both noticed the eyes of Starfleet upon them. Before they could comment they were cornered by Deanna's mother. "Commander, I believe I will dance with you now." Chakotay was stuck and he knew it. He took her hand and returned to the dance floor.

Lwaxana smacked him lightly on the back. "Don't be afraid Commander. I don't bite, unless of course you want me to." She looked at him expectantly. "No, I didn't think so." They danced around the floor in silence. Chakotay spent most of his time trying to keep a physical and mental distance from her. "She is the great love of your life." Chakotay looked up in shock. He had not been thinking about Kathryn at all. He didn't know why she said that.

"What made you say that?"

"Well, I can't really dance with an incredibly attractive man and not acknowledge the fact that I know he loves another woman. I may be eccentric but I am not stupid!" They were silent again for a long period of time. "You have tremendous depth for a non-empath. There is a connection between you and the world. It is very unique."

"Why do I feel like I am getting my palm read at a traveling show?", Chakotay asked her skeptically.

Lwaxana feigned insult. "You wound me. Fine, we can change the subject. Let's see what can we talk about? Oh yes. You looked extremely enticing at the wedding. I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were very…"

"Stop!" He spoke a little too loudly. People were staring. "I prefer the other conversation."

She shrugged. "Pity, I would have enjoyed you immensely." 

Chakotay clenched his teeth. "Mrs. Troi, please!"

"Fine. Now what was I saying?" She held her fingers up to her temple and rubbed. "It has been a strenuous day. My only child has married and left me."

"I think she left you long ago when she joined Starfleet."

"But now she will not need her mother, she will turn to him for comfort. You will see one day Chakotay when you have children of your own."

"I don't think that is in my future."

"Nonsense! After you two marry you will have a family like everyone else. Did you propose yet?"

He was going to ignore her question because he didn't think it was any of her business but then he looked in her eyes and saw something. He didn't know what it was but it made him tell the truth. "Yes I did. We both agreed to marry."

"When?"

Now he was getting irritated. This had to be the longest song he had ever heard. He wanted to escape! "We haven't made plans yet."

"Ask her again. It would be a very romantic gesture to make plans to marry while attending a wedding."

Thankfully, the music ended. They stopped dancing and he turned to go back to his table. She held his hand to force him to face her once again. "Make it soon Commander. There are things you do not know."

Chakotay returned to the table practically shaking his head. Kathryn took his face in her hands and kissed his cheek after he sat down. "That was very good of you. I am sure it wasn't easy."

Chakotay took a long drink of cold water. Despite the fact that he found Lwaxana very annoying her final words rang in his head. As quickly as they came back he tried to dismiss them but he found that he could not. He put his glass down on the table. Before he began to eat he said, "She is an interesting woman."

"You don't know the half of it," Picard added.

Deanna climbed to a balcony that overlooked the dance floor. All the unmarried women were called out onto the floor. Geordi's date was among the crowd. Kathryn did not budge. She was firmly planted in her seat. Her table mates had to shame her into getting up. As she slowly walked toward the crowd of women Deanna threw her headband in the direction of the throng below. Many women grabbed at it but it flew over their heads to the far side of the floor just to where Captain Janeway stepped. It hit her square in the chest and, motivated solely by reflex, she caught it. The entire group surrounded her and cheered. Deanna smiled warmly and called for the traditional dance. Will stepped onto the floor and took Kathryn in his arms. They waltzed around the floor a few times. He stopped before her table, where Chakotay stood, and handed her off to him. The new couple took the floor to finish the dance.

"Do you know what that was all about, Chakotay?"

"It is a tradition. The person who catches the ceremonial headband dances with the groom."

"That much I figured out by myself. What does it mean and why didn't he finish the dance?" 

He placed just enough pressure on her back so she would move closer to him. "Tradition states that if you catch the headband at a wedding that signifies that your one true love is in attendance, whether you know it or not. After you catch it, you dance with the groom as a sign of the past. And if he knows who this true love is he then places your hand in his as a symbol of what is yet to come."

Kathryn rested her head on his chest to hide the tears. She managed to whisper, "That is beautiful."

"Did you know that Deanna caught it at Chandra's wedding?"

"It kind of makes you believe in fate."

"Or destiny." He held her close once again thanking the spirits for her presence in his life. "I think it is time to settle our bet."

"What bet?" Kathryn pretended to not know what he was talking about but she knew full well she owed him.

"I seem to remember a certain game of pool that a certain captain lost. It was a very memorable event because you see she did not lose often."

"What do you mean often? Try never!"

He twirled her quickly as he asked. "Never?"

"Well, almost never. Once to be exact."

"I believe we had a little wager riding on that game. Do you remember the stakes?"

She was getting annoyed. She didn't like to lose. Even though it was three years ago she didn't like to be reminded of it. "Yes, I do."

"And what was that wager?"

She hated when he gloated! "I promised you a kiss."

"Despite my intense desire for you, I did not claim my kiss. Did I?"

"No, Commander you did not."

"And why is that?"

He was going to make her say it. What they did and said in private was one thing but this was a very public place and she could feel the eyes of Starfleet upon her. "You said you would only claim the kiss when we got home and I was ready to make a declaration of my love."

"Well?" He looked down at her and smiled. Not that little bitty almost smile so you can kind of see my dimples smile. It was the full force, knock me over with a feather, he looks so damn cute with those dimples smile. As usual, resistance was futile. Kathryn grabbed the back of Chakotay's neck and brought his mouth to hers and kissed him. The passion in her kiss was the public declaration he desired. When they broke apart she added, "I love you."

He hugged her tightly and breathlessly asked, "Will you marry me?"

Even though he had asked before she cried again. "Yes." 

The two remained in their embrace long after the music stopped. They were oblivious to the conversations around them. In the far corner sat a table full of dignitaries.

"I knew there was something going on between them. You can't tell me that they did not break protocol on that ship." A voice filled with venom spewed out those words.

A second voice joined in. "Even if they did we cannot prove it. There is nothing we can do."

A third voice filled with haughty superiority added his thoughts. "We may not be able to do anything about the past but we can do something about the future!"

"Yes, we can not allow them to serve on the same ship!"

"It would serve her right. She thinks she is so high and mighty, bringing her ship back like the prodigal daughter. Only her father is not here to praise her. Is he?" The woman smiled wickedly as she spoke.

"I don't see how we can do anything. They are not married and even that is no longer grounds for automatic separation."

The third speaker began again. "We will wait and see. When they marry we can demand that they not serve as captain and first-officer or we could simply ask one of then to resign their commission."

"It will happen. They will get married and then we will put our plan into action." All three smiled.

Finally the second voice spoke again. "A toast, to removing the filth from the chain of command!"

"And," the woman added, "to breaking Janeway in the process!"

Although Kathryn and Chakotay were not aware that they were being talked about in such a manner one woman was.

Lwaxana went to the table where Deanna and Will sat with their friends. "Commander Chakotay, I believe it is time for another dance." Before anyone at the table could protest on his behalf he stood and led her to the dance floor. He might not have been able to read her mind but he could read her eyes.

****

Epilogue

Captain Kathryn exited the turbo-lift and entered the bridge of her ship just as she had seven and a half years ago.

"Captain on the bridge."

The three bridge crew members stood at attention.

"At ease Harry before you sprain something." She smiled at him broadly.

He returned her smile and purposely added, "Yes, ma'am."

"It's good to see you all." She looked at each officer, Tuvok, Tom, and then Harry. She walked to each and greeted them personally. As was her way she touched her friends on the arm as she spoke to them. Each in his turn noticed the gold band on her left ring finger, but no one commented.

Captain Janeway stood in front of the screen and surveyed the bridge of her ship. She felt a calm in her stomach as she realized that she was glad to be back. The Captain turned when she heard the turbo-lift doors open. Her first officer entered. All eyes were on him as he walked toward the Captain. Only the Commander and Captain remained oblivious to the tension. Chakotay stood directly in front of her. "Commander Chakotay reporting for duty."

"You're late."

Harry and Tom winced. Tom knew instantly that things between them had not improved since they left. He and B'Elanna had hoped they would work things out when he escorted her to the wedding. It didn't seem so right now. He guessed that time did not heal all wounds. Tom wondered what would happen when Chakotay noticed the ring.

The commanding officers took their seats.

"Take us out Lt. Paris."

Once they cleared the docking area the Captain gave the order. "Lt. Paris is the course laid in?" Tom nodded in reply. "Ahead warp factor six."

The bridge remained quiet as everyone contemplated their new mission. They all couldn't help but remember the first time they had set out together on Voyager. A lot had changed since then. Tom broke the silence. "Hopefully this journey will be a little less eventful than our last."

"Lt. Paris it is illogical to compare this mission to our last. Each one has its own variables. No two missions are the same."

Tom smiled to himself and thought that some things or people never change.

"I think what Tom meant is that hopefully this one will not take us seven years to complete."

Tom silently thanked his friend.

"Even though it was an eventful seven years, I think even the Captain would agree that it was worth it. Yet, I think we both expect this one to be different." Chakotay turned in his command chair and faced Kathryn.

Now Tom was confused. He would have bet they were still at odds but now he wasn't sure.

"Yes Commander, I expect this trip to be different." As she spoke she reached her left hand out to him. Chakotay smiled deeply. He took her hand in his exposing his matching ring. "I'd say very different. Wouldn't you agree Commander?"

Harry gasped audibly.

Tuvok raised an eyebrow.

And for once Lt. Paris was speechless.

The End 

I hope you enjoyed the story. I am thinking about a sequel that chronicles their adventures. What do you think? Should I continue to explore this or not? Opinions are always welcome! I also need to say that I could not have done this without my "editor" Sue and my "publisher" Tammy! Thanks again.

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